Triggering (SI/OD) - I can't fight this......

perfect façade · 07-02-2010, 02:25 AM

I feel really bad right now..... I really want to cut....
I have done for hours.
Mum 'n' dad went out earlier. Mum promised they wouldn't be late, or drunk, I felt good 'bout that cos then I could talk to dad, he'd make this all better !

But no!
They've come home at 1am anD Dad's pissed..... Now what?! I'm stuck till morning !

I can't do this...... I held on for him to get home..... And now look..... I should have just cut earlier and got it over with !

sadgirl87 · 07-02-2010, 03:59 AM

Try using a rubber band. That is what I have been using and it seems to help. Just remember the feeling you are having is just an urge and it will pass.

perfect façade · 07-02-2010, 01:06 PM

doesn't work for me......
This just won't go away...

Ampelmann · 07-02-2010, 01:45 PM

Hve you managed to talk to them today yet? x

Cazki · 07-02-2010, 05:11 PM

I'm sorry your having strong urges *Hugs you* Dont give up. Do you have any idea of what it is thats making you feel this way? Do you want to talk to us some more about things? Do you have any support? Have you tried distracting yourself? This is the big distractions page http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403 What about talking to your mum about how your feeling? Or if you find it easier maybe you could leave a note for her to read? I know its hard but we are here for you. Stay safe.

Take care best wishes Ian

Gone. · 07-02-2010, 06:27 PM

I agree with Ian, please don't give up. Keep on fighting even through the hardest times. Do you know why it is your are getting the urges at the moment?

How are you feeling now?

xx

DWTS4 · 08-02-2010, 01:29 AM

Keep fighting! You're strong enough to get through this. Can you try writing your feelings down in a journal? maybe then you can figure out why you have these urges now and maybe vent a little- it might be able to help a little until you can talk to someone face to face. You've gone 6 months- thats amazing- just think about how far you've come. I hope things start to look up. Are you feeling any better?

perfect façade · 08-02-2010, 11:52 PM

yeah I do keep a journal, it helps to write stuff down.
Me and Dad did talk, he's keeping an eye on me and stuff cos he knows I'm finding it hard ATM.
In 2001 I was raped, I had flashbacks and bad dreams and stuff.... They stopped last year
The day I poster this I was In town with my niece, and I had a flash back..... I felt it... I felt him..... I was sick.....

It made me urge and feel dirt and horrible !!
I though I was over that stuff....
It's happened twice now,a and the dreams have started again.Xx..

I thought o was over this...