Triggering (SI) - Slipped Up

iiLL3GAL · 05-02-2010, 11:14 PM

I slipped up. Ended up cutting last night... I was 7 months clean.. 7 ****ing months!

The stress just built up. I couldn't take it. I was so fed up, so stressed. I was falling apart.

I feel stupid, but at the same time I am so glad I did it...

I hate mixed feelings...

Gone. · 06-02-2010, 12:03 AM

It is just a slip-up as MustardSeed said. These little obstacles make recovery more worthwhile and more secure. Please just try and think of it this way because then it is something you can fight and recover from. 7 months is truly amazing, please try to remember that. Don't throw that all away. You've done it once and you can do it again.

Is there anything that triggered you to cut again? Maybe focussing upon that problem will aid you in stopping self-harm. Try not thinking about it too much.

Take care xx

Cazki · 06-02-2010, 01:20 AM

*Hugs you* I'm very sorry that you slipped up after not harming yourself for seven months. Please dont beat yourself up though. Do you have any support? Seven months is fantastic!! You did incredibly well to go so long without harming yourself. Slipping up is all part of recovery it doesnt mean you have failed. Try to think of it as a slip up on the road to recovery, and not being back to where you started. Dont give up, you can get through this.

Take care all the best Ian

iiLL3GAL · 06-02-2010, 02:29 AM

I don't think it's just a slip up anymore... I ended up cutting again today. One cut, but it was smaller than the last one.

Probably the icing on the cake yesterday was I got into a fight with my friend. It just, pushed me off the edge really. I was so worked up, and that did it. Today, well, I found out my friend almost killed himself yesterday cuz he thinks he's letting me down and all he wants is for me to be okay. Yeah... I didn't feel too great when I heard that.

I do have support, but sometimes I'm just afraid to reach out and ask for it.