For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I haven't been around in awhile. There's not a lot to say, though. I'm falling apart. I was almost in a dating relationship and I had to call it off due to many warning signs. I haven't cut since July but I'm struggling to not buy new tools to start again. I'm having nightmares. I'm stressed. The other night I wrote in my journal about wanting to get drunk. Now, I attend a Christian college and getting drunk would be very! bad! but yet the stress got to the point where I could not cope.
Tonight I premiere my radio show on our student station, and I'm kind of nervous about that. I need to figure out waht songs to play, what to talk about... etc etc. Eh.
Right now though I want to give up in so many ways.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
yeah so i have plans to take the shuttle to the store next week to buy new tools.
i'm so ****ing stupid but right now i don't care.
i know there's a god out there and i believe in him but i wonder why the hell he lets the nightmares to continue to haunt me.
the empitness consume me.
i just don't care right now and it sucks.
i can't get back into therapy.
i'm fooling all my friends into thinking i'm fine, i'm happy.. etc.
i suck.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
A few months ago I landed up back in clinic, overdosed on sleeping and anti anxiety pills. I have always been heavily involved in my church but while I was in clinic I obviously didn't go and wasn't doing any ministries. Not a single person came to visit me and I don't think people even noticed I had disappeared, it's like one day I was there and the next I wasn't oh well let's carry on with life. I was really hurt, when I came out no-one contacted me or asked how I was. I haven't been back to church since. I have also moved to another suburb and haven't bothered looking for a new church. I feel like I am not worthy of serving God, mostly because that is how my church leaders have acted towards me for the past 3 years. How can I serve God when I am such a failure, and have a couple of mental disorders. Friends of mine have started a church plant and desperately wanted me to join the team because they think that I have a lot to offer - they also know about all my struggles - but I cannot get it out of my head that I am worthless to God. How do I get past this, how can I ever want to go back to church when all I see and feel is hurt and rejected by people of the church. If they are God's representative here on earth what does that say about how God feels about me? I know humans aren't perfect but this has happened again and again and everytime I pick myself up, close the door on the hurts and resentments and try to serve wholeheartedly and to the best of my abilities but they are not interested no matter how good I am at something and I just get hurt again. I have lost all trust and hope in the church but I love my God and can't carry on like this. Any advice, what do I do? How can I love God when I hate his people?
Freedom from addiction, freedom from pain. The suffering is worth the life I live now.
I'm not gonna lie, church can suck and it can screw you over but you some how need to move past it... It's crap advice but all you can do is keep pressing into god, you clearly still love him so just keep going until god heals the hurt and you can move past it... it sucks but that's the only thing I can say...
Personally I'd appreciate your prayers/advice I'm so stressed out and exams start on Monday and all I want to do is cut or get drunk and I don't know what to do....
Please say a prayer for me tonight. I don't feel strong enough to but I trust God is witnessing my brokenness anyway.
I'm struggling, struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i still trust it's there.
If you have the energy, and can look beyond the swearing, please read my rant thread (the longest one on the 2nd page pretty much explains one of my main pains atm)
sorry guys, don't have much else to offer. just a broken heap of a shadow of what God created me for.
scarlett whore: Hi, I just wanted to let you know that iv'e prayed for you this evening and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that God loves you lots and can provide you with the strengh to carry on if you let him into your heart x x.
I don't really like asking anyone to pray for me. But could you guys please pray for me. I've been going through rough stuff lately and it's constantly hard to resist from cutting. I haven't done it in 2, maybe 3 months. But everyday is a challenge, as you all know. Thanks. You all are so great.
Jocelyn I looked over your rant thread. *hugs to you*
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Sin is much the same. The first time we commit a sin, it breaks our heart, but the next time we commit that same sin, it doesn't seem quite as bad. Our heart becomes calloused to that sin we repeatedly commit and a foothold is formed
We act as if the Holy Spirit needs our help or as if what Jesus did on the cross was not enough. We feel like we must make additional payments for our sin by doing something when Micah 7:19 is clear about God's attitude toward our sin, "Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean" (NLT). The problem comes when we revisit confessed sin, when we "go fishing" in the waters of our past.
If we want to walk in victory, we must make the deliberate choice to face and deal with sin - and then let it go!
thank you email o.O
lol
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Thank you for the prayers guys. I'm feeling much better today, just quite emotional recently.
Could we say a prayer for Katie please? She just joined RYL within the last week and was very ill. I believe in a compassionate God, I believe Katie is dancing in heaven with Jesus now. Could we prayer for her family and friends? For strength and hope.
I'm more of a mess than I have been in a long time.
I was at a worship service a couple hours ago, and my hypocrisy was too much for me to bear... during the second song I had to leave to throw up (just to clarify, I didn't throw up on purpose)...
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
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