what is the hardest thing about talking to others?

[BelleRaven]

I am curious if others are just as awkward at times as I when it comes to talking? I feel like I am always trying hard to make people like me sometimes because most of the people I see are so outgoing and I try to be the same. even though I am more introvert.

any out there that feel the same? are quiet people just as valued as more outgoing fun peeps?

and what do you find most difficult when talking to others?

[RainbowsAndButterflies]

I feel strange talking to strangers but when I get too know you people can't shut me up... apparently i'm well mouthy with my mate lol but she's the same back.

I find it hard to open up to problems via word of mouth talking but i can do it via text and e-mail... not so much instant messenger...

[Feel_Good_inc.]

being honest out of the fear of how they will judge you.

[RainbowsAndButterflies]

Quote:

being honest out of the fear of how they will judge you.

Exactly what i wanted to say...

Sometimes I wait till i know they have their phone off and text them then at least they wont get the message in an instant.

[Isoverity]

Too many people make themselves "small" while making others "big". Then they have trouble talking to others because they have elected them to be able to provide approval or rejection in a manner that's waaaaaay out of whack to reality. It's natural to care what people think but not too much. if your fake and get people to like you your worse off than being yourself and getting rejected by the same people (who like fake) so dont make acceptance/rejection too much of an issue. I remember being terrified by public speaking as a kid. Then I worked as a tour guide at a museum while at uni and after awhile I didnt care what people thought one way or another - they were just clumps of flesh lol.

[Lollirot]

I don't like talking to others. I HATE eye contact... that's the worst part.

Weird thing is I don't know why I have such trouble in social situations... honestly I don't care what they'd think of me and thus don't feel pressured to impress. I just feel incredibly awkward and eye contact amplifies that hugely

[linder surprise]

mostly i just have trouble saying what i want coherently.

[Too Shy]

I just freeze. I think, like above, it's just the fear of how people will judge me. I don't believe I'm a likeable person, so I don't expect people to want to talk to me. Then I get embarrassed and shy, and I panic. Logically it makes no sense really - it's unlikely anyone's really thinking about it enough to care that much, and nobody's going to like everyone anyway.

I forget how to physically speak sometimes though, I physically can't speak in more than a whisper sometimes, and then it's even more embarrassing. And eye contact terrifies me!

[Asura]

Sort of what Linder said. I'm not very articulate in real life, so carrying on a conversation about something I don't know much about doesn't usually turn out very coherent. I also sometimes get nervous whilst talking, and I forget to breathe. I'll be gasping for air as though I ran up a flight of stairs. Kind of silly. XD

[milkybar]

I worry that I annoy people, or I hear myself speaking and shut up straight away.
It surprises me how close I am to some of my friends, when I can't take compliments or understand why people would like me : /

[__T]

For me it's if i'm honest about myself.
I dont want them to know that i'm a volatile individual who isnt emotionally stable.
& freezing up, I do that alot

[Stellata]

I never really learned how to connect with people when I was younger, and was deprived in terms of social life and learning in that sense. Therefore I can be very awkward and insecure - and of course having my different personality states or whatever you call them complicates things for me relationally a lot.

[Steel Magnolia]

Maintaining eye contact. Definately.

[whirlpools]

I've struggled with this so much. I think for me it's trying to work out how to relate to people, how to know what to say. Not a lot of interesting stuff happens to me, and none of it strikes me as anything anyone else would want to hear (so self esteem is a big issue). Been looking up "how to make small talk" tonight on the internet. Thanks for posting this, I feel less alone (and also sometimes wonder if quiet people are considered as valuable as outgoing people).

[J.K]

Listening to them when I've finished.

[wigglemuffin]

I don't like the sound of my own voice, especially when it's like in lessons and things. Eye contact as well, I can't even maintain eye contact with my best friend, eye contact for me is major no no.

[Maybe I'm Amazed.]

I agree, definitely eye contact. Also, fear. I tend to know what I want to say but by the time it gets to coming out my mouth I freeze up and can't say it anymore, which leads to me thinking I look stupid and therefore more scared. In class it's the fact all eyes are on me when I'm asked a question, which freaks me out a lot. It's a combination of a lot of things really. I find for me it is down to trust as well, who the person is etc.

[HopeRises]

I find it hard to talk to people face to face for fear of what to say. Like I won't go to the hairdressers cause I don't want to chat to the hairdresser cause I wouldn't know what to say to them (I'm going next saturday with a friend, it will be good for me to try) I guess kinda like what 'NorthenLights' said. Nothing happens to me in RL to make my life interesting or even talkable because I do nothing with my life bar sleep, eat, sit on the computer/watch tv. I guess if I had lots of positive things in my life (a job/hobbies) then prehaps it would be easier as my self esteem would be a lot higher.

[wishfordeath]

im a social cripple =( it sucks. I only have like 3 friends lol which is better then the 0 friends i had for all my teenage years.
oh yeah the hardest thing is not saying stupid things

[AMCarmody]

Haha, we're so not outgoing. We have a thick mixed accent. And we're hard of hearing. We're shy and socially anxious too.

Making small talk though has become easier, that used to be the hardest bit of conversations for us.