So, my ex-best friend, whom I have not seen or spoken to in 3 years suddenly wants to be friends again. I don't know what to do. Here's the thing, yes, we did have lots of fun times, but then she stabbed me in the back, tried to turn people against me (it failed), and cut me out of her life. She made it very difficult for me to trust anyone else for the longest time. While we were friends she used me to make herself look better, more fun, and generally awesomer than me. My mom told me she was glad we weren't friends anymore. People from school told me they were glad we weren't friends anymore cuz she treated me like crap. Now, she requested me as a friend on facebook and sent me a message. She wants us to put what happened behind us, look back at the good times, and catch up. I would like to be friends again, but I don't know if I can trust her. I'm also afraid that if we try to be friends, I'll get sucked back into the awful relationship we had before. I don't know what to do. Any advice at all would be great. Thanks!
"One day everything will be well, that is our hope; today everything is fine, that is our illusion." ~Voltaire
I think its a really hard choice. Sometimes i think you should just let things lay, its been three years, you moved on, so you have to decide if your ready to go back there. If you feel you want to be friends its best to take it slow, so that if you feel something bads going to happen you can distance yourself, you can still be frineds, but maybe not close friends.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I think people can change, and despite how awfully she treated you it seems like the fact she's contacted you shows she might have. It's hard to build up that kinda trust once someone has been like that and it's completely down to whether you think it's worth being friends with her again. I think you should maybe distance yourself from her at first and see how things go and then hopefully you'll begin to regain her trust again.
It's a difficult thing to judge when someone has hurt you before, but I think you'll make the right decision . : D
Do you have any common friends who have known her recently? you might ask them for advice, see if they think she's matured. Sometimes people are immature and do things like trying to make themselves look better when they are younger and then grow out of it. Other times they never change. So I voted for the take it slow and I do think talking to any mutual friends would help.
I agree with the idea of talking to people who know her now. Maybe she really has changed. Then again, she could just be pretending. So I suggest you try the friendship for a bit, just cautiously, and use your own knowledge and intuition to figure out if she's sincere. Good luck.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
