Today my friends were talking about how this one girl cuts herself. They were saying how they thought it was stupid and made no sense. I asked them how they knew this girl cuts herself and they said that she tells everyone. I told them that this girl is probably doing it for attention because people with a real problem don't go around telling everyone, and all they said to this was,"well it still doesn't make sense." They always make jokes about cutting that really hurt my feelings but I go along with it anyways because I don't want to draw attention to myself. I have never told them that I have been self injurying for 5 years and I am starting to wonder, would they even understand and be supportive if I did tell them?
Last edited by HPHSML : 11-01-2010 at 05:31 PM.
Reason: Found a great quote/picture that really summed up this thread.
i think if you explained the best you could or write them a letter they might see it in a different light than they do now. but it all depends on the person. people shouldnt hold strong opinions about things they dont understand and unfortunately that happens a lot. hope you are well. <3
*hugs* - it really depends on how you feel about your friends, are you close to them, have they supported you in the past, have they given you any reason to believe they wouldn't support you if you needed it? If you think your friends would support you and you trust them enough then you should consider telling them, if you feel as though you want to. If you chose to tell them there are different ways you can tell them and you could also give them information on self harm or try explaining it to them. I'm sure if they are good friends they'll try their best to help and support you. I hope you are ok and work things out.
I think that they would be supportive if you explained things properly about why you do it so that they understood. Rather than just judging you by your physical action of cutting, they'd understand the emotional and psychological reasons why you personally do it. They may even be able to help prevent you from doing it. They are only judging people about cutting because it's different to them and they don't get it.
Also, this girl who is going around telling people about her self harm, even if she is doing it for attention, she may well still have real issues of her own which are pushing her to behave this way. Maybe she isn't getting adequate attention at home or something.
xx
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
my friends are a lot like that too. and in one of my classes the other day we got off topic and started discussing the movie "Thirteen" and everyone was saying how they couldn't watch the part where the girl cuts herself, they didn't understand how someone could enjoy their own pain, and it was just stupid and attention seeking.
i've been cutting for about a year. only within the past month have i opened up to anyone about it. my best friend is a guy and i he has dealt with a lot of different issues, plus his parents are both social workers, so he is understanding and supportive. he really doesn't like talking about it, probably because he has no idea what to say, but he is always supportive or quick to protect me. i've also told two of my girl friends. they also both have plenty of their own problems, so talking to them is quite easy because they understand and aren't judgmental.
most of my friends, on the other hand, are quite sheltered and very judgmental. they've never dealt with emotional trauma so really can't understand the intense emotions someone with these habits experiences. not that they don't experience sadness ever, but one said the other day that the worst thing that had ever happened to her was breaking up with her middle school boyfriend. they talk about how cutting is "sick", how people who have eating disorders should just "get on a treadmill if they want to lose weight" and toss around words like schizophrenic and bipolar without any regard. i feel like if i told them, they would be supportive but we would grow apart since they don't understand the behaviour at all.
it all depends on your relationship with them and how much you trust them. if there is one in particular who you trust, maybe you could only tell them? then they would sort of be there to back you up if the others were talking about cutting.
perhaps they all joke about it because it actually scares them and they just wanna make it more humourous... my friends did this til they found out about me self harming and individualy they admitted it scared them so they just copied wat they thought was the right reactions
can you talk to these friends about your feelings of how they are approaching the thought of self harm? if not i think you need to find new friends who are more level on these situations
Yeah i agree with other people . My mates lastyear all knew i sh but would make up jokes about SH while I was there, which hurt but i just try and stay clear if people talk about SH near me as theres a high chance i will get brought into it about my SI. but i know how you feel hun.
I agree with the others.
A day in the summer my friends were laughing about someone who told everybody that he self-harmed and tried to show them the cuts. I had to have an input, and somehow laugh at the guy as well. I was so scared because I was sitting in the room, also using self-harming.
Later that day, the friend who had started the bitching about the 'self-harming' guy was in the room whilst I was searched for 'tools' as such. I'm not going into the finer details. That evening, the friend apologized to me for the joke she had made earlier in the day. She felt so terrible for what she had said.
I don't think that your friends understand it. If it is 'happening to them'- as in, someone close to them then they will be more accepting of it and won't laugh at it or mock it. They will want to help you because they care about you. Just, that is my experience.
It is best to come from you than to be 'found out' as well.
It's amazing how quickly people change their tunes when it concerns somebody they know. Chances are they're just ignorant, but if you - one of their friends - told them about your SI, and explained it, it might force them to think about it, and maybe even accept it. Or at least begin to understand it.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
four of my closest friends don't know because i know they would judge me, so i told other close friends instead who i knew would understand and ive kept it that way. if its telling someone that you want to do, then maybe you could tell someone you feel would be understanding, at least maybe at first so you could see how you go? take care x
