haha no it's not okay to discriminate against someone based on their sharing similiar traits with someone else, its not ideal, but it is a very common and human reaction.
i wonder whether or not you truly believe that. maybe consciously, you believe it to be a valid point, but im not sure that you'd pull someone up on it. discrimination is interesting, its not the overt discrimination thats the problem, but that socially acceptable version that does the most damage.
I'm sure there's a lot of people who are members here who have grown up missing a male or female role model or indeed both. I think
to say that someone needs a male and female influence on their lives in order to maximise they're potential as a person is not a realistic view to hold in a society where so many families break up.
In the United States single parent households account for approximately 9% of the total family households. If you're correct and all things are equal between a single parent household and a household with 2 parents then people from single parent households should only account for around 9% of say teen pregnancies, high school dropouts, etc correct? Well that simply is not the case.
63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source: Center for Disease Control).
71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children).
up to 85% of all youths sitting in some prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).
And those are just the numbers on single mother households, you throw in single father households on top of this and all of those numbers rise. To suggest that single parent households are equal to households with both parents present is insulting to two parent households in my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by el_jumbel
I don't think it should matter whether your raised by two people of the same sex, a couple of different sexes or by a lone parent, your development and who you become is probably in a small way dictated by what your guardians values are, not what sex they are.
See above
Quote:
Originally Posted by el_jumbel
I do appreciate though that it can be hard on this site to relate to people when the majority of the members seem to be female and maybe have an unfair (though understandable) opinion of men, it can be a bit alienating.
How is an unfair view of men understandable in any way, shape, or form? I can't speak for the rest of the males on this forum, but I've had some pretty shitty experiences with women in the past and I do not hold them to be under men ,not equal to men, or hold any truly unfair opinion of them period. I recognize that their are differences; just like their differences between a hammer and a wood saw, but you need both to build a house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by el_jumbel
It's really good that someone started this thread for people to feel more included.
I have a question for you all.. if no one minds me jumping in..
on the assumption that you all have scars on your bodies.. How do you find it when you get into romantic situations with new people?
Is it something youre nervous about, or worry about?
Cos ive always found that it might be easier for a guy to accept my/another womans scars, because its also accepted that women are more emotional than men.
Do you find it easy to discuss with your sexual partners? have you ever had an awful reaction to them?
again, sorry for the butting in....ive just been pondering a lot.
I have no problem wit my scars they make me who i am today.
I have no problem with showing them to Lizzie but that may be the 6 years we have been together or the fact we met on here.
I find she has more issues with showing her scars than i do for whatever reason but i do know it would take me a while to show any new partner my scars unless they understood what they are and why i have them.
Charlie we should give you a mans name for in here and you could bring in your snake :p
ive had some bad reactions, but in all honesty thats been from people who i wasnt likely to spend more then one night with. so far ive never had a bad reaction form someone who i was aiming to be in a serious relationship with. i think thats because i always let them know before hand about my problems. i handle myself very differently depending upon how i see a relationship going, so im guessing that the way you go about it really makes all the difference.
i will say though its definitely more acceptable for women to have scars from s/h.
Charlie is a mans name.. i had to change my usertitle to 'IM A GIRL' cos it turns out the whole of chat thought i was a guy.
I have two snakes now.. way-hey!!!
Thank you for replying Duff, i appreciate it.
Do you think, (hypothetically, in your case cos of Lizzie) it might be more difficult to have one night stands if you had scars because you might need to explain them?
Obviously, I misjudged the reactions of people on this thread to a fairly pedestrian post. The original post was fairly innocent, it wasn't particularly contentious and its surprising that you feel the need to start producing statistics and turning this in to some sort of fiery debate.
I don't much have the inclanation or energy to enter in to an argument with someone whos tone seems fairly hostile.
I apologise for putting your nose out when I spoke about two parents households, however being the product of a single mother and considering myself a pretty decent guy I don't see much wrong with advocating that being raised in such a way isn't such a bad thing. My brother has been raised by a gay couple and he's turned out okay. I think your opinion that the straight, mother, father nuclear family way is best is an opinion which will always draw criticism in a society where this way of life is going to become increasingly rare.
This is a support thread for men and I apolgise for my comment causing you so much stress.
In the 1980s in the states the underground music scene was at its best. By 1990 it was all but gone. Do you know why this happened? That scene of music's was built by, and run by punks. Punks greatest downfall is the fact that most of their time, energy, and thoughts are about trying to be pure. You don't want to know the amount of oxygen and time that has been wasted trying to figure out if the band and the people who listen to ______ is pure enough to be punk.
We are like this. We have pages and pages talking about whom or what is a real man. Does this even matter in the long run? How about we just stop caring about something so petty and get back to the point of this thread. This is foremost a SUPPORT thread. We have lost sight of that and turned this into a general discussion thread.
I hope you see what i am saying
-Tom
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
haha good point i forgot charlie is a mans name as well :p
Yeah i think it would be harder for me to have a one night stand i've had a few in the past where the girl ran off screaming because she thought i was into a cult for devil worship and there for thought i was going to kill her. >_>
One night stands will always be an issue because it's normally get home naked sex there is no time to explain what them scars and fresher cuts are on my body which you get a negative reaction which can play havoc on your mind so you withdraw and are less likely to talk about them with anyone let alone go out for a one night stand.
@ SquirrelSpit: I have enough scars on my body from random bouts of other stupidity from my youth that I can typically just lie them off to some other accident, after all you know what they say "Chicks dig scars". If the relationship goes on for a bit I will go back and tell them the truth about some of my scars though.
@ Duffer: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke
When someone comes here and makes an ignorant statement such as it is understandable to have an unfair view of men the proper response is not to lower our heads and nod. That type of mentality is what has caused western civilization to get into the terrible shape its in right now.
I know my opinions are very strong and I am very outspoken about them. I know I can be overly rude when I feel insulted. I know some people can view me as rude when I present an opinion. However, I will not have my flaws prevent me from standing up and speaking out against ignorance and bigotry whenever it is presented.
on the assumption that you all have scars on your bodies.. How do you find it when you get into romantic situations with new people?
Is it something youre nervous about, or worry about?
I don't have any real visable SI scars for reason I won't get into. However I do have the emotional scars. I do worry about people finding out about this chaper of my life. Its not something I am proud of by any means. In my experinces it has set people running or made people think I am insane. (Remember though, this is from a guy who is always turned down)
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlie
sorry Tom.
I started writing that before you even started posting. And those are very valid questions.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Duff... so... you can use your scars as a kind of contraception!!! :p
Brandon, thank you for replying. Its nice to know what guys feel like about stuff.
Also, on a side note, iu think that between you all, all these petty little arguments are devaluing the point of the thread entirely, its a very difficult one to moderate, and i really dont want for it to get to the stage where it is removed from the forum.
Please please try and think about how your words could be read before you press 'post'
Not everyone will think that though... i think like most things in a relationship, maturity is key... and for the added cliché - anyone that cant accept you for you, isnt worth having anyway!
jumbel i dont think hostile is what we were aiming for in our discussion, im sorry it came across like that. honestly i just like a good argument now and then, and no where else on this site really feels conductive to that environment. here i feel comfortable to say what i want how i want, and its helping to get me more active around the site. hmmm so if i come across as hostile its not personal, its just talk. it'll solve nothing and change nothing but it helps me personally.
tom discussion like this helps me. i dont know about you but i dont really fit in on the rest of this sight. aspects of it annoy me and ive been a very irregular member over my time, but i find myself continuously posting here. if the topic of what is a real man keeps cropping up doesnt that say that maybe most males on this site feel lost about who they are and what they should act like. of course thers no real answer for that but still maybe talking about it might help in some way. like ive said, i know it helps me.
@ Duffer: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke
When someone comes here and makes an ignorant statement such as it is understandable to have an unfair view of men the proper response is not to lower our heads and nod. That type of mentality is what has caused western civilization to get into the terrible shape its in right now.
I know my opinions are very strong and I am very outspoken about them. I know I can be overly rude when I feel insulted. I know some people can view me as rude when I present an opinion. However, I will not have my flaws prevent me from standing up and speaking out against ignorance and bigotry whenever it is presented.
Right i don't post in here a thread i helped create to often because of all the fights over the same topic that seem to happen. I was only trying to keep the peace so that a thread that i put so much of myself into ends up getting locked or deleted because it keeps over stepping the mark.
I get what your saying i really do but can't we keep it all civil so we and other males who join the site can benefit from this?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirrelspit
Duff... so... you can use your scars as a kind of contraception!!! :p
jumbel i dont think hostile is what we were aiming for in our discussion, im sorry it came across like that. honestly i just like a good argument now and then, and no where else on this site really feels conductive to that environment. here i feel comfortable to say what i want how i want, and its helping to get me more active around the site. hmmm so if i come across as hostile its not personal, its just talk. it'll solve nothing and change nothing but it helps me personally.
tom discussion like this helps me. i dont know about you but i dont really fit in on the rest of this sight. aspects of it annoy me and ive been a very irregular member over my time, but i find myself continuously posting here. if the topic of what is a real man keeps cropping up doesnt that say that maybe most males on this site feel lost about who they are and what they should act like. of course thers no real answer for that but still maybe talking about it might help in some way. like ive said, i know it helps me.
You there! Young man! Stop taking the words out of my mouth. In all seriousness though I feel the exact same way especially the second paragraph. Although the last little bit between jumbel in the rest of us I would not classify as an argument, more of a debate if anything.
And I think I was pretty civil about it Duff. Like I said in the "what are you like in real life" Thread, I'm a lot more bombastic and outspoken in real life. I reel myself in a lot when I post here.
