I really want to tell my mother about my self harm, but i have no idea how to start that conversation. I've thought about it so many times. Whenever I go to tell her I get to nervous, so I just start talking about something else. I'm tired of lying , and hiding this from everyone. I just don't know how to tell the truth. Any advice I really need it. THANKS
I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?
I've found myself in your predicament on several occasions.
When I finally told my parents about my self injury, I wrote it in a letter and I explained why it took me so long to tell them and ask for help. I also explained my feelings toward my feelings and that nothing they did made me start self injuring.
After I wrote the letter, I put it in my mom's car, so she wasn't around when I told them and when they finally decided to talk to me I felt a wave of relief.
Good luck!
I am just a worthless liar, I am just and imbicile. I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you, I will chew it up and leave.I will work to elevate you, just enough to bring you down. -Sober by Tool. 1993.
Although I haven't come out about doing that to my parents, I'll also throw in my support for writing it down. When you say it to them, it gives them the opportunity to flip out immediately at you. When you write it down and put it somewhere before you go out or something, then they have the chance to think about it, and MORE IMPORTANTLY calm down. It's especially good if you have parents that freak out easily. >>
::"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain::
If you want to tell her about your self-harm then maybe you could just say something like 'mum I have something important I want to talk to you about,its quite difficult for me but I need to tell you' or something along those lines.
Have a letter as 'back up' if you want,just in case you dont know how to start talking about it. Then you can just pass her the letter. Or even read the letter to her yourself.
If you decide to leave her a letter somewhere as others have suggested then make sure you put in there that you really want to talk about it with her afterwards,you dont want her to just read your letter and then not talk about it with you.
I hope you manage to tell your mum.
Take care.
Claire x
I was indeed born and then broken. But I am living proof that broken can recover a life worth living.
I had this problem too. I think the best thing to do is maybe try and tell her when both you and her are calm, because this reduces the chance of either of you getting all worked and things. If this still isn't an option, I'd go with writing a letter because like people have already said it gives her time to read it and calm herself down, and it kind of also gives you time to prepare for her reaction.
Is there a particular friend who knows about your self-injury and who you can go to with anything about SI? If so, I would recommend asking that friend to be with you when you tell your mom. Several weeks ago, I decided I needed to tell my mom about my depression and SI, and I asked my best friend to be with me for moral support. We met in a public place (specifically, a restaurant) to talk about it. Meeting in a public place was a great idea, because it inhibits "freaking out" - most adults, at least, do not want to make a scene by yelling or crying in public. Asking Evan to be there helped because it kind of forced me to come out and say it - I couldn't just keep putting it off or dancing around the subject.
The write-a-letter idea could also be quite helpful. But now you've got some options at least. :)
I'm going to write her a letter. I have actually thought about doing this, and have always chickened out. I am still terrified but I know this has to happen someday. I started writing a letter and i am going to give it to her with in the week. And now i have a new problem i can't sleep because i can't stop thinking about it. Maybe that will actually get me to give her the letter this time.
And thanks to everyone that has wished me good luck.
I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?
when I told my mom, I waited until we were alone and she was really calm. Don't tell your mom if she is in a bad mood, it will only turn out badly for both of you. I simply showed my mom my arm and said, "I did this to myself and I can't stop." really, once you say it, it isn't that bad. All you have to do is et those first few words out, and the rest will flow easily. Allow your mother to ask questions, and asnwer honestly. Maybe it would help if you showed her this site, so she can see where you are getting your support and such?
Good luck honey, this is a huge step forward. Things can only get better from here!
