What to say?

[Queer Fringe]

Right, I'm at my first job and basically I don't know how to respond when collegues/customers comment on the state of my arms.
Today someone commented and I just didn't know what to do/say?! Any advice on how to respond to these types of things? especially when it's a collegue/manager.
thanks, xx

[Wonderful.]

I don't really have much personal experience or anything, but if I were you I'd probably say something along the lines of "It's personal and I'd really rather not discuss it" or "I went through a bad patch, and it's something I am trying to put in my past"
TBH it must be quite awkward! It's rather rude to ask somebody in the first place in my opinion.
They are your scars, and it's up to you whether you feel you should tell them what they are etc...
Sorry I don't have much advice.

But well done on not covering up etc... it's a big step to make *Nods*.
Take care. =]

[-Shae-Lynn*]

I coach gymnastics to little ones and this comes up a fair bit at the beginning of the year. Of course, it's different with 5 years old than with 20 year olds who know about self-injury. With the other coaches, I came up with a story and I just stuck to it. I'm a total clutz, so I said I was running in the forest at night and ran into a thorn bush. Since they are all straight lines, I was able to get away with it. I wear long sleeved clothing as much as possible, but sometimes like during the summer it's just not an option. People usually ask either because they are concerned or just plain curious. It depends on how scared your arms are, how obvious it is and how comfortable you feel telling people stuff.
What ever you decide, stick to it. One lie is wayy easier to keep track of than telling everyone different things.

[lozza]

I dont have much advice but only tell them what you feel comfortable
...mostly I tell people its a long story and they eventualy back off
thinking of you

[Lollirot]

I don't really have an answer either. Mine are all very obvious, I used to work at Target and just put a large bandaid on my arm and say I grazed it... can you cover them at all? I ended up quitting after getting out of hospital because 1. I just couldn't handle it and 2. There were too many to cover.

I don't recommend quitting over it though! If you can't cover them up I guess it depends on how obvious they are (i.e. can you make up a believable story?) and how comfortable you are with the people and with the scars themselves. I'd recommend going with the "It's something I'd rather put behind me" line as they'll get the point.

I know how hard work can be with them on display. I mean I only ever cover mine up with my housemates. I don't have a problem walking through the city or anything with them uncovered, but work is hard, it's such a different environment.

Sorry I couldn't be more help, I hope you work something out :)

[Lyn]

Maybe you can apply some make-up to cover them.
Is it just scars or also healing cuts?
If you have a few very bad ones, cover them up with bandages, and leave the other ones open, or make up a good excuse for them. Also, they WILL fade, and then people won't see them anymore. I am changing in front of everyone in the changing rooms atm, because they DO fade rather quickly, to an extend where they are still visible, but only if you pay close attention

Anyway, i'd give it a try with the make-up, and if that's too bothersome, then have a good story, like you have/ used to have an agressive cat, or a rabbit. For small-ish burn-scars, say that you had an agressive parrot. (My friend has both of them, and her arm is completely MESSED UP, even though it's really just from those two... The birds actually pick at her skin, and cause small holes because she tends to annoy them a lot)

[Ninja Orange]

It depends on how scarred your arms are, and how comfortable you'd be with them knowing the truth or lying.

Personally, I'm pretty cmfortable with my scars or at least with people knowing, and besides, mine are really quite obviously scarres and I can't pretend they resulted from a cat/falling out of a tree, so at my job last summer (I'm not working now) most of my collegues knew and/or guessed that it was SI, and I was open to discussion if they so wished. But I think you need to weigh up the possibilities. Like, if you'd get away with "I feel out of a tree", then go for it.

[lizzy100]

i think saying 'its a long story' or its complicated, would prob shut people up. or u could make a joke out of it and say you were attacked by a bush or sumthing.
iv had this problem recently when i burnt my arm and everyone kept asking how id done it, i just said 'i burnt myself' and most of them didnt ask how. so i suppose u could just say i cut myself. i find it kind of weird coz its like ur telling the truth but most of them dont realise it.

[froot_loop]

i've been dealing with this for a long time now, and if i don't feel like answering, i either just say "it's personal", "it's a long story", or "oh, that's from a long time ago, don't worry about it".
if you are comfortable with it, depending on your coworkers, it's usually ok to come out and say it. i usually try to keep it pretty simple as in "i used to self-injure" or "well, i used to be really depressed, but i'm better now".
i've found that the more comfortable with it you can seem, the less of a big deal it will be for other people around you, and i have actually found that most people are surprisingly mature about it. the ones who aren't probably aren't the people you want around anyway.

alternately, funny excuses can also work to deflect/ get the message across that you don't want to talk about it, if that is the case. my favorite of those is "oh, my cat has pretty bad ocd. we're working on getting him medicated for that...".

[Schleier von Dunst]

Hazel <3

As the others have said, it depends what you're comfortable with. If it's colleagues you trust, why not tell them? Chances are they'll be mature enough and support you. If it's members of the public, they have no right to ask, so you can pretty much say what you like e.g. "I'd rather not talk about coz it's in the past" or "I don't feel like you have the right to ask that sort of personal question" (Rather more politely than that, obviously.

Sarah x x x

[perfect façade]

my last job a customer refused to let me serve her, apparently she didn't like being served by disgusting freaks ..... So my boss came and took over. After work I was quized by my boss about my arms. I said that I used to have a problem.
That's it
X

[Amaryllis]

I say that I was in a car accident, which is where some of the scars are from. They don't need to know that's where most of them are from.

And apparently, to some people, mine look like excema, but I've spelled that wrong and spell checker can't figure out what it's supposed to be.