things have been out of control for a while now.. since I went into hospital at the end of Jan this year.
I have gone up several clothes sizes since January and although I was in the very obese BMI range then... I am even more so in the very obese BMI range now.
Before I went into hosp I was attending Compulsive Eaters Anonymous meetings and had lost quite a bit of weight.. but as soon as I went into hosp I fell off the programme (it is VERY strict) and started binging and compulsively eating again. It was noticed on the ward that I was putting on weight and eating too much. But I was so poorly with other stuff that it wasn't really a priority to deal with.
I came out of hosp at the end of April and have steadily continued to put on wieght since then.
It's another form of self harm. I am literally killing myself.
I went for a heart and stroke health check. the nurse put a tape measure round my waist and I was dying of embarassment. I stood on the scales and nearly went to the maximum weight. she said I needed to lose weight. but no advice given as to how.
I saw my doc and he said my cholesterol was high.
but as usual my other MH probs are addressed but not my physical health.
I am so overweight now that it hurts to walk. My feet hurt. I saw a gp and she said it could be the weight that is causing it.
I am so depressed over my weight.
I went swimming on Saturday and managed to do some breast stroke. To be honest it was a relief to have my huge body weight suspended in water and pressure to be taken off my joints.
I am seriously thinking of asking my doc for gastric band.
does anyone know anything about this?? Am i allowed to mention this in a post? Mods please remove if not.
I've been to depressed to cook food properly and am living off ready meals, which I know is not ideal.
God,, I hate myself so much. I despise the person I have become.
I used to be a healthy weight/size. Bloody medication. Bloody giving up smoking. Bloody laziness.
i don't have any brilliant words of advice as i'm struggling with the same thing but i wanted to let you know i completely understand and if you want someone to talk to i am here just pm me
i will try and write something a bit more helpful later on
take care
I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Hi there.
Im caught in a bit of a cycle too and the weight has also crept up on me over the last 2 years but more so over the course of this year so please try not to feel like you are so alone with this.
Is it possible for you to get back into the compulsive eaters annoymous program? It sounds as though you were doing well on it.
You say that your doctors are prioratising your mental health over your physical health..Have you tried telling them that your physicall health is having a big impact on your mental health? If not, maybe you should.It sounds like your weight is a massive issue to you.
The swimming was a good move.Maybe its something you could continue?
Its all about motivation realy.If we want something we have to go to it because it wont come to us (easier said than done, i know).
Life is what we make it.No matter how many times we fail we have to keep on going :)
I know a little about gastric bands (if you're in the the uk) so if you have any questions please feel free to pm me.
Take care and remember, you're beautiful
Meg
x
Last edited by MeganAlmighty : 09-11-2009 at 02:18 PM.
Reason: poor spelling
I don't have any great words of advice, but just so you know I compleatly understand what you're going through. If you ever wanna chat, I'm just a PM away.
Also, I know a little bit about gastric bands/other weight loss surgeries. (My mum just had one.) So if you have any questions, again, I'm just a PM away.
I am trying to build the courage up to speak to my GP about referral to Weight watchers.
The Compulsive Eaters Anonymous programme is very extreme. You have to exclude certain food groups altogether from your diet and you have to weigh and measure your food at each mealtime. No eating inbetween meals. Plus, you have to do questions every day for the first 30 days and phone them in each day to your sponsor.
I am actually scared of gastric band, but may PM you if I pluck up the courage.
I am a sever over-eater also.
I have rituals that I'm not sure I'm allowed to discuss, so I won't.
Sadly, I do believe Gastric is a good idea.
From the sound of it honey, You're on a very long and if not impossible road.
I say that there isn't enough time to do it the healthy was, not to mention that is EXTREMELY difficult.
I hope you can get past this, get healthy, do what you must honey, get happy, and good luck with it all. I know it's all very over-whelming and spirit crushing.
This world has no room for cowards,
We must all be somehow ready to toil, to suffer, to die.
And yours is no less noble because no drum beats
before you when you go into your daily battlefields,
and no crowd shouts about your coming when you return
kimico... thank you for being so honest
i don't think there's an easy solution to where I'm at right now
I know you shouldn't look at celebrities and compare yourself, but I do look back at Fern Britton (I am bigger than she was) and see how well she did after having a gastric band.
i know she exercised as well though.
I have been up since 4am
I was going to go to the gym at 8am and have a swim, but I have this really annoying cough and cold. I don't think it's a good idea if I do go to the gym today.
If I lose weight the conventional diet way then it's going to take me about two years to get down to a healthy weight.
I just feel so depressed about it.
I find it hard to believe I have let myself go so badly.
I've been in total denial that I am this big
and all the while punishing myself with binging and compulsively eating
yet I don't hink my gp will take it seriously
i hate me
Hiya,
Sometimes the biggest changes come in the smallest form, you've already taken a big step in deciding that you do want to lose weight and that you are unhappy about it. It's a bit bad on the doctors behalf that they haven't given you advice of how to lose the weight. Next time you go to the doctors it may be beneficial to see if you can be referred to a nutritionalist if you think you would find that helpful? Little changes could be like planning to cook yourself one meal a week if you feel you are living off ready meals, in the grand scheme of things one meal a week isn't too much but you could build it up from then, maybe trying to find some healthy alternatives to junk food. For the time being I would say try and steer clear of the gastric band purely because your life won't be the same again, it really will be a life changing decision.
can you believe this, but when I last asked about seeing a dietician for help with losing weight, the gp said that they only referred people who were diebetic to the dietician due to demand! I am not diebetic so I don't count apparently!!
Im so sorry i dont have the answer in a magic bag here but i do have this. there is always going to be struggles in life and some bigger than others but its gonna be ok. there's alight at the end of the tunnel. you have to hit rock bottom before you can get better and you have acknowledged it.thats the first step. i may be young but im going through it myself, just thought i'd try to help.
Much luck and love
Namaste
“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”-Buddha
Cute - thanks hon for your support
Just thought I'd post an update......
I have been away on holiday with my parents - we were on a cruise, which could actually have been a nightmare in terms of food. It actually was really good for me. I stuck to three meals a day and didn't eat at all inbetween meals as I didn't have access to any snack foods. As I was sharing a room with my parents I couldn't binge as there was nowhere to hide.
It got me into eating three meals a day regularly which was just what I needed.
Now am back home I'm trying to continue with that regime....
BUT.....
the big news is that I saw my GP.
I wrote him a letter before I went on the cruise.
I explained to him how bad things were with weight, eating and pain in feet.
He was really good.
He looked at my BMI - and said that I was elligible for weight management programme and also..... he's put me on a weight loss med!!!!
I was so happy that he had listened to me.
He is sending a referral to weight managment.. I just have to wait for a letter from them.
The meds I have started. Because of how they work, I can't eat foods high in fat cos of unpleasant side effects.
This has so far stopped me from binging and compulsively eating high fat foods - ok, i've only been on the meds for 3 days, but this is progress.
I'm really thinking carefully of what foods i am eating, how i am cooking/preparing them and trying not to eat between meals.
I have to go back to my gp in a month to tell him how i am getting along.
I know that it's not as simple as just taking the meds... I really am trying hard to make the meds work as efficiently as possible.
I'm determined this is going to work.
