I guess at the end of the day, regardless of how hard it seems, you phoned them because you WANT help, you don't want to die. You just want to stop hurting. The crisis team suggested you throw the pills away and I think that is a good idea. I doubt they will offer any other help or suggestions until you have taken some control and thrown the pills away.
I know how hard this is to do, I REALLY DO. But I guess you need to ask yourself realistically what you thought they would say and also what you wanted them to say? This is your decision at the end of the day. You don't need to take those pills and I think you may find yourself getting more support if you are responsible and throw the tablets away and then use the crisis team for emotional support as opposed to being a place where you can offload your harming urges at.
I have no idea what the video is like, I just know this link plays a song that reminds me of my times in and out of hosp. I just thought I'd make this song known to you guys - Just because some of the lyrics reminded me of being IP etc.
Ferret, how are you doing today hun? I hope you are ok.
Emma, I know your reply was to Ferret but it is something I need to remember. Yes, I think I want to die but you are right in that usually that isn't the case, I just want to stop hurting. This is something I have been trying to get into my head recently and is good to have a reminder. I hope you are doing ok hun?
I'm in a can't be arsed with anything mood. I really need to go to the supermarket but it has just started raining. I'm not going in the rain.
Feeling really flat still :(
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I hate the "take responsibility" line especially as growing up I was the one who brought up my sister, was responsible for household stuff etc. I find it an insult.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I'm just finding it very difficult to hear continually from my cpn (after ive actually done everything shes asked me to), my 'friend' because she seems to think ive not looked for help properly (um hello do you know how hard it was for me to walk into the drs office a year ago and finally tell someone after all these years? and then keep going back telling them i needed more help,) and then last night after i phoned my boy and for the first ever time i built up the courage to finally use the crisis team i get "what did u expect them to do u have to take responsibility". well hey i didn't know what to expect as it was the first time but just once, one little tiny weeney time can i not get told to take responsibility after ive tried to ****ing hard?
I'm having a tough day, it's my Grandma K's birthday - she passed away in 2004. Stupidly I went to a visit a friend on the cancer ward, I thought I would be ok but I'm not. At least in some way I know my reaction is normal - perhaps not certain thoughts but being upset is at least 'normal'.
you have to try something positive to get out of it. ah ok i dont know what im saying, anything i do will make me a hypocrite.
Im trying to be more positive, im tired of sitting about doing nothing. Im going to buy the music software i need and the equipment so its going to set me back about £300 and also try and get myself music lessons.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
guitar and piano. If im serious about going back to uni to do music production, then i need to know the software and i need to know how to at least play the piano.
Well i have until next september, so i have about a year to learn
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I used to play the French-horn for about 4 years and I played the clarinet for just a little over a year also. I actually just got my clarinet out for the 1st time in ages today to play a couple of scales as I want to get back into it as I want to be able to teach myself how to play jazz. I'm not cool enough to play the guitar or piano though.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
i dont think i am either but i want to learn, will need to buy and acustic guitar because i really cant learn on my electric one, it just sounds too horrid, so i will buy one online tomrrow.
But you should, if nothing else it give you something to focus on and it also means when you feel angry, or not so great, the music can make you feel better - or am i just strange like that ha ha.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
