oh wow, yeah i totally get this too
sometimes its with close friends and other times it's with someone i barely know - usually if htey say something really helpful or understanding or something and then i just latch on to them... i hope they don't find it really annoying when i do it....
now im obsessed with a woman i met in hospital and i can't get her out of my mind. the problem is that everyone says not to hang out with her, because she can be very mean. she hasn't done anything to me yet though.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
i will ask my doctor again tomorrow. but when i ask him things like that he doesn't say anything, he just asks what i believe.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
So I'm joining the conversation late but I definitely do it too. But with me I get obsessed with girls that I find particularly intriguing or different or with girls that don't really like me. I want to know where they come from, how they work, how they react to things, what they think about. And they're always on my mind. All the time. Until I somehow manage to figure some part of them out. It totally wears me out, and probably creeps them out. Recently it happened with this girl who's a huge flirt and she messed with my emotions big time.
Hope the doctor gives ya some insight this time. Good luck :)
Don't mean to hijack the topic but I'm having major problems with this at the moment :(
I'm really obsessed with my boss. But I don't think she likes me at all. I'm related to her boss and he made her give me the job without an interview or anything. I get nervous whenever she's around because she really is SO cool. Which means I drop things and bump into her and do stupid things because of the nerves. She's not like, mean to me or anything, but she doesn't chat to me and she does with other people. I just really really want to be her friend, but we have nothing in common apart from the job.
I have such mixed feelings for every shift. I'm nervous because I don't want to mess up. But I'm excited to see her. I think about situations that would make her talk to me. The other day at work someone dropped something heavy on my head (by accident) and she was like "oh are you ok?!" and I now keep thinking that I wish it'd hit harder and I'd needed to go to hospital so that she'd care about me more.
Any advice how to get over this? Can't avoid her because, well, she's my boss.
it must be very hard for you, as it is for all of us. i don't have any advice at all, as i have the same problem with many people. my doctor doesn't say anything when i tell him about this. i don't know who can help.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
im like that aswell, only since i have been in hospital and spend so much time with the same people. i get obsessed with someone, want them to be with me all the time and im upset when they arent there or dont talk to me coz i think they dont care about me. its horrible.
yes i do.
mainly professionals.
at school it was a teacher.
now i'm very attatched to my support worker.
i live in fear of the day when its time for me to leave the care of my support worker.
its not just these people, i do become obsessed with someone, but only ever after they have displayed or cared somewhat about me, and they will be all i think about, and what i think their opinion would be on things, rules what i do.
Omg, I can't tell you how relieved I've been to read this thread.
I TOTALLY thought I was alone in this!
I do the same thing, at school it was teachers who were nice to me. Outside of school it's been numerous friends who've shown care for me.
I hate it.
I'm just glad I'm not alone.
I’m sorry this will be so long and so late after everyone elses, but I need to get all of this off my chest, you don’t have to read this.
I Find a person that I like. Try to become friends with them. When I feel that they care about me the way I care about them I become obsessed and all I can do is think about that person. What they’re doing, conversations I can have with them, things I can do to become closer to them, why they don’t talk to me as much as I want to talk to them, how often are they thinking about me?
The main problem with me is that I start to lie to them all. For example; at my work I became obsessed with a lady there. She was nice to me and I felt safe and happy around her. (I wasn’t in love, just obsessed) We were really close and she told me a lot about herself. After a while I wanted her to care about me so I pretended to have ‘shaking attacks’ where my legs would just start shaking. This would make her be around me longer and I felt that she really cared. But then it went all wrong and she started getting freaked out that she was causing these attacks and she eventually stopped liking me and stopped talking to me altogether. So after a while I confronted her and told her she had nothing to do with these attacks and that it was because I was depressed. This made her ignore me even more because she had a goddaughter who cuts and she didn’t want to be involved. After a while of realizing she didn’t care I became extremely hateful towards her, yet if she ever spoke to me again I would probably forgive her.
The second person I started to become obsessed with was my teacher. In grade twelve I became close to one of my teachers. I had always liked her at school and thought she would be cool to get to know so I told her I had depression and she showed she cared. Anytime I wasn’t feeling good she would smile at me and let me know I didn’t have to do anything that day and I could hang out with her to get away from people. But I got too obsessed with her. And eventually I told her I got attacked by a guy at a party, just so she could care about me more. She did for a while and I felt like I had a great friend. I let her know how much she helped me all the time. After a while, I guess she got over it all and started not liking me. After school I still tried to stay in contact with her but now she won’t even look at me, she doesn’t know that all I said wasn’t true but I think she thought ‘ok schools over, so is our friendship.
Now I am becoming obsessed with another person. She was my teacher at uni. She is amazingly cool and she actually really likes me. We get along great as well. But I can feel myself obsessing over her. I want her to constantly talk to me and for us to be really close friends. I am really scared I’ll stuff this relationship up like I did with the others so I’m going to try a mind over matter thing. Which I know will be soooo hard but I don’t want her to think I’m a stalker. I haven’t started lying to her yet but I was thinking about it the other day. It’s annoying and I can’t stop it. But I lied to people the other day saying that me and this person were MUCH better friends than what we are.
I’m not even sure if I have or ever had depression. I can’t tell anymore because I got so involved in each lie I told. During all three of these I have played out conversations in my head of what we’d talk about when we hang out and stuff. But then I can’t stop obsessing over if they don’t reply to me ‘did I say the wrong thing?’ ‘do they know that I’m obsessed with them?’ I just really want to be able to control my thoughts and just be friends with these people without becoming obsessed. I know I’ve already stuffed up all the friendships I’ve had before from my obsessive nature, but this last one I really want to keep. And I don’t know what I’ll do if she starts hating me as well. It also inhibits my study and other things in my life because I can’t stop thinking about them.
I also find that the people I get obsessed with all are attractive, around the same age group and are naturally caring people and similar personalities, but I haven’t been in love with any of them. Just obsessed.
No-one has to reply to me if you don’t want, or even read this. I just needed to say everything. I have never told anyone about this before because I thought I was a freak. Thank you for starting this thread.
I do this as well... it gets so annoying sometimes and I worry that once the term is over I won't be able to cope without them. It's like every organisation I join I have to have somebody I can latch on to, this is more in school than at home really. I look for them in the street and where I work as well...
And yes, is there any way we can 'get better' from this?
I'm way obsessed with some people, BUT, I learnt how to solve it kinda with some people.
One person I was obsessed with was a teacher of mine, but now she is my mum's best friend so I see her in a different light and am way less obsessed.
Also, I was completely removed from 2 teachers at school because I failed my exams and had to just go straight away, couldn't say bye last year, and now I never even think about them.
That immidiate removal helped a hell of a lot.
Atm, I am obsessed (I feel creepy saying that) with my support person at college and my counsellor. I can't stop seeing them and talking to them. I feel like I can't get away... I'm hoping to cut my counsellor off soon so I can stop being obsessive and creepy, but meh. I did try at the start of this month but I had a severe depressive episode again last week and was forced to see her again.
I feel for you all and I send hugs, because being obsessed is bloody hard.
/ends
THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! I make excuses to talk to her, and I always look out for her in the halls, and I am always going down for extra lessons even though I don't need them. I look out for her on the streets and at stores even though she lives 30 minuted away. I feel so safe when she's around. I want her to look after me and take care of me. She's the only person I feel safe truely safe around. I always feel that if I need to feel safe I need to be around her.
I am EXACTLY like this. Is something wrong with me?
Glad to know I'm not the only one here that gets attached really easily. I hate it. For me it's usually older males, my rationalization is that my dad was never really there for me emotionally. sigh. at this point i'm just trying to get myself unattached to several people, giving space and what have you.
You have to remember that those scars are not who you are - they don't define you as a person. They're just..marks. Footprints from a different time...a different life. ~In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. (Ps 62.7)~
~~If you need me, I am but a PM or
Facebook/Myspace message away! ~~
Sorry if I repeat what anyone else has said as I have just skimmed the thread but yes I can identify with become; for me it's more attached to people than obsessed. I was discussing this in group therapy today and after finding out the other person in the group (Today there were just 2 of us) felt a similar way we got talking about it and we both felt that it is a way of sort of coping mechanism.
I don't know if obsessed is the right word but I do get very attached to people. I'm much older than you guys sound. School is history to me but I still remember the feeling towards certain teachers. Now my psychiatrist says I have attachment difficulties and I do agree with her but sometimes it can be very hard. My last one to one threrapist was quite "mumsy" and I really liked that for all of my 53 years! Near the end I told her I was what I was looking for in the therapy was what my mum was never able to give me and that I felt I did get that with her. She thought that was an important step. Then I was devastated when the sessions stopped. As soon as something bad happens I want to talk to her, to be near her again.
And for a woman of my age this is really embarrassing. When I was in the waiting room at the Health Centre the other day my G.P. came over to me and bent down to tell me something about a dermatology appointment and you know I felt just like a little child. I just wanted to cuddle in like a little girl would and feel safe. How weird is that???
It doesn't sound weird to me. I often want the person I am attached to to cuddle me or just be with me. I think it's just that I haven't quite learned how to be an independent grown up yet. I feel vulnerable a lot of the time, but I'm figuring out that it's not healthy to need someone all the time, it won't do me any favours in the long run.
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