i've been cutting alot recently, but its not taking away the pain like it used to....i tried cutting more than usual and deeper to try and take it away, its not working....
i've had alot of suicidal thoughts recently,thinking that would take the pain away...i've acted on a few of them.....but unfortunately for you, i'm still here.....
i dont even know why i'm writing this...probably being an attention whore, thats what everyone else says.....
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I remember when I started feeling like that, the cutting not working anymore. I did the same thing as you, cutting deeper and more often. It sitll didn't work. That's when I came to the realization that if I didn't work I should just stop. And I did, I had a few slips but when I found that it didn't work, I said 'enough!'. And that's how I basically stopped.
If you complete suicide how will you know the pain will go away? You'll be dead anyway...how could you possibly know? Plus, no one knows what comes after death and I won't go into that.
Okay, you should really seek out the advice of a doctor to make sure those suicidal attempts didn't do any major damage. Also, think about what would happen if you managed to get so close to death but was revived. What would people say? What would people do? I can say for sure that you'll be in a hospital but maybe that is best for you...it's better to go in a hospital now and before you make a nearly fatal attempt. It will take a long time for people to trust you again, they will be scared you will do it agian, they will always be on top of you making sure you're okay. I'm sure that you don't want that, it would be too much stress.
I'm very glad you are still here. I know you hate it, but even I care about you. Hell, I haven't met you but I feel your pain and I want you to get through this. And that's one thing, you CAN and WILL get through this. You are stronger than you think.
You are not being an attention whore, not by any means. You are seeking out help. It's getting attention but it's in a good way, you're not going around lying about things, exaggerating stuff, etc. That's the negative attention seeking that people do.
Do you have a therapist, psychiatrist, doctor? Anything like that? I really think you need to reach out to someone now and explain all you are feeling. Be honest, be strong, be yourself. Let people know you are stuggling. You can only get the help you need if you let yourself get it.
hey hun, i know what you mean about the cutting not having an effect on you and not doing anything for you - cause im going through that too - im cutting deeper and worse than i thought ever possible for me - but maybe its a sign you are ready to stop?
i agree with Sarika - you should go see someone, doctors could help :)
you know where i am - ive always said thatx
xxx
Rei x
