I hope you have sobered up hunny.
i'm on my gap from college so i thought i would come home and talk to you all :)
i hope your all ok.
I think im going to leave james today, well i don't think it i know it!
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
You're not a wimp, Rowie. You're distressed. Keep trying though.
I'm a bit cross. I've been due a CPA since June but because I kept getting unwell we postponed it a few times, which seems fair. But I had a ward round in hospital where my OT (care co-ordinator) and psychologist turned up. I was really not well and just cried and kept saying I was fine. It lasted about five minutes, with strangers in the room and a psychiatrist I don't like, so nothing got sorted. Today I asked my OT if I was having my CPA arranged or if the ward round had been it. She said that essentially the ward round had been it. ARGH. I was in the worst place possible and couldn't say anything I would have wanted to say had I been well/with people I trusted/been aware it was my CPA and not some random well-attended ward round.
Started life drawing class tonight. It was really hard. I had that feeling of "needing constant reassurance" back and... yeah, very tough. Need to find courage to go back next week.
Well done for going to the life drawing class tonight Laura, it sounds really tough for you but you went and that must have taken a lot of courage <3 I'm not sure what to say about next week but maybe just take it one step/day at a time and see how you feel when you get to next week? I've just started back at college and sometimes have to break it down to sort of "I'll just get the bus" "I'll just go in to college" etc, that probably sounds a bit pathetic, sorry if it does!
Also, can completely understand why you are a bit angry about the CPA. Again not sure what to suggest just wanted to say I can understand where you are coming from.
Ferretmonster - Sorry to hear about the lack of sleep, very frustrating! Glad you got a really nice GP though, that's excellent :) xx
That doesn't sound pathetic at all, that's actually a really good idea. I think I'll do that. I'll just say to myself that next week I can leave at the halfway break if I need to. Thanks :)
Thanks everyone!
He never called me back and i didn't even get to talk to him at work bcos he was blanking me! I just want to get it over and done with. I'm sick of it all i want is to be with him but lets face it he is not going to leave her for me is he. i hate him soo much but at the same time i love him to pieces. This is driving me into depression i know it is, i've even od'ed over it all coz i cant take it anymore!
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are.
Quote:
Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Worst day, had a really bad appontment with my Pyschatrist, Spent to much money, Quit my job (with good reason to, wasn't just a random thing but still), Annoyed my Boyf, Got my third HPV so my arm aches and then to top it off Broke the oven... Just ***** generally. Bleh.
*hugs* daniella, try not to worry yourself over it.
Whirlpools... I can see why you're fustrated!
*hugs* Mari, Whats up?
Sorry i'm not much use, and sorry that i only ever seem to appear in this thread when things are going wrong. You must think i'm so selfish, Sorry.
x
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
Bad days happen, hopefully when you wake up tomrrow you will have a good day and things will seem alot better. Its ok to ask for help if you need it you arnt being selfish.
I dont even know why im upset, well kinda, but im just making things worser, its at these times i really want to go back to cutting.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Hi all, sorry I wasn't around yesterday but I was too busy being sick until late last night :( My own fault.
I managed to drag myself to see my GP. I was honest that I had drunk all the night before until that morning. I didn't ask for any more Zopiclone but admitted re the Quetiapine and he said that it wasn't ideal but as long as I am not going over my total daily dose (including my prn) then he wasn't too worried although I need to talk to my consultant about it when I see him on Tuesday. He gave me a sicknote for a month.
Feel ok today but that is probably because I felt so **** yesterday. Just come back from seeing my social worker. She asked how I had been and I told her that I had been up and down the past couple of weeks - a few highs, even when not drinking and that on Sunday I had convinced myself I was better. She said she wants to tell the consultant when we see him on Tuesday. Surely there is no need. I spend most the time feeling **** or just about ok it's good to be able to have the highs occasionally.
Laura - well done for going to the class. It's normal to need reassurance when you start a new class. I'm sure it will get easier and become enjoyable.
Daniella, I hope the break up went ok.
How is everyone feeling today?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
