In terms of Ana/Mia, I'm not so sure that people do use them as a name for what they're trying to fight. Accepting that you're fighting anorexia seems somehow more powerful than fighting 'ana', especially with the personification that comes alongside 'ana', and the removal of responsibility from yourself on to a separate being, this 'ana'.
Does that make any sense?
And Liv, I can understand what you're saying. Why is it that you want numbers back, apart from the move you've now made onto 'pro' sites? What is it about numbers that you want to see, that you want, I suppose?
As I see it, ultimately RYL should be about recovery. That's not to say that it is working as such, or that people who aren't in recovery shouldn't post - but having terms floating about that aren't pro-recovery isn't really going to help to make things more positive. It's like, when you're talking to customers, using negative terms like "if it's not too much bother" and "we can't do that" actually reflect on the experience of the customer, and they report having a more negative time. Whereas more positive terms do mean that the customer does seem to have a more positive experience.
It's a subtle difference, and I'm not saying that banning these words is in any way going to move people into recovery, but the words used really does have the power to change thoughts and feelings.
I'm just brain-mashing now, sorry :P
No, I do get it. I really do, I guess I'm just thinking of a sort of dream land. And Heidi, that is very very true, and a good idea, which I will do in future.
I do realize 'ana' and 'mia' are unhealthy terms, it's just frustrating to rant and then have to go back and edit it, but nothing I can't live with :)
to be honest guys, I don't think we will ever get an ED Board where everybody is happy with it, how it is 'run' and the rules.
Because everyone is different - fighting (or not yet fighting) different disorders; each requires a different type of support which it is not possible to specify for and keep separate when it is a board for all and every form of ED there is.
It bothers me each time a thread like this is made as it (almost) always involves arguments amongst members. I understand that these threads are the only way to get everyone's opinion regarding the board, and they can be very helpful, useful in improving the board.
I think that the board has changed a great deal since I joined over 3 years ago, and it will continue to change for as long as RYL is.
I guess this is a kind of pointless reply, I just wanted to say how I feel.
x
I know my opinion doesn't really count because I'm quite new and stuff, but:
- The labels; I think a thread with guidelines and examples to help people distinguish between what is "mildly triggering" and "severely triggering" would be helpful. Everyone is going to find things triggering in various different degrees, and so having guidelines to follow may be useful.
- "Ana" and "mia"; I think it was a good idea that these words are banned. Those words are used to personificate the eating disorders, and are also used a lot on "pro" sites. Recovering your life should be the opposite of that.
I agree that the trigger labels need to be sorted. I don't know the difference between the two really.
And as for 'ana' and 'mia' I can sort of see your point but my psych says it is good to separate the disorder from the person (he doesn't know about ED but he is talkinig about panic attacks anxiety stuff) and so I'm a bit confused whether it is helpful or not...
Since when was the moon so bright
that it hid all of my stars?
xxx
I think for some giving the disorder a different 'identity' to your own can be useful. It separates it from who you really are. But for others it can be a bit dangerous.
I agree with Claire in that it can depend on the individual as to whether it's healthy for them. The reason I prefer not to have them is cause it only reminds me of being on pro sites, and that culture.
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
I don't like ana/mia. I guess it's not so bad on the R&V forum 'cause that's ranting but not on the actual ED board. If people need to seperate their disorder from themselves to help them fight it (which is sometimes useful) on a lot of the recovery blogs I've been reading people will refer to their eating disorder as ED and refer to 'kicking ED's ass' (I'm sure someone mentioned that on the boards once too?) maybe they could use that? I've not seen it on pro forums yet and it's not that friendly I guess.
I'm glad numbers aren't coming back. Yeah sick people will use them as competition/bragging rights. Because we are sick, with eating disorders. Numbers are one of the most triggering things ever, and as much as I was sad they went and sometimes want to use them from time to time I think the board is a better place without them.
As for labels, I think at one point behaviour-related labels were mentioned? That would be a good idea. I don't often know whether I'm being mildly or severely triggering so I go for the highest label to be safe. I do LOVE the positive recovery post one though. S'nice to have that around :)
Just my two cents, I know I'm not around much atm to really warrant having a say but yeah.
Katie, you deserve to have a say, whether you're around hardly ever, a little or a lot. x
I do miss numbers, but they are VERY triggering and as said, can cause a lot of difficulties, possibly even relapses, or to go deeper into the ED.
I think ana and mia remind me of very pro terms on pro sites, but I do think personalizing the ED can be helpful to do, as it separates you from the ED, and a lot of people tend to identify themselves as their ED, (I know I do that a lot), so separating it with a name or something could be helpful and pro-active.
I think some find it difficult to post because they may be recovering/have recovered so they may feel they don't belong there, and posts may actually be very triggering to them, which could trigger a relapse or set backs, or it may just make them feel like they, again, don't feel they belong there and because they are not as ill or something, hence why they may avoid the board or post very sparingly, if at all. I think that was one issue raised in the other thread...?
I find I am more supportive and comforting to those who I know and am friends with than those who I do not know and am not friends with/who I've just met... it's just how it is, you're naturally going to be like that.
I do miss food lists though, and it may actually be pro-active because it could be about achieving something in recovery, or in the what we did for recovery day thread, we could post what we did, what we ate, or what we didn't eat(for both ends of the spectrum), but yeah... I'm not sure.
I miss a lot of the things that were taken away but I know that it may be for my own and others well being.
Thing is with separating the ED, it's no good just writing ana/mia all the time if you don't do anything, if you don't mentally separate yourself.. What's the point? Sorry, I just wanted to say that. (And comment aimed at no one imparticular)
And thanks Sarah for being so honest there, was really good to read your point of view, as with everyone elses as well. :)
I'd go to say I sometimes miss numbers also.. but they are not good for me and ultimately I don't ever want them back.
I think it's really hard, especially when you're in the middle of an ED, to separate what is good for you and what isn't cause something 'you' may like may actually just be a good source of fuel for your ED. If that makes any sense?
Food lists are more tricky than numbers but I'm sure many of us are well aware of the foods that contain little/a lot calories, just like someone shouting 'I ate a salad!!! OMG, I never thought I could do that!!' (or even something on the opposite end of the scale) can be quite triggering for me. It's not a reflection on their achievement or even intention in posting but my vunerability - an ok thing.
I think it just encourages comparing, something some of us lean towards doing.
Anyways. xx
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
I don't really have any issues with the ED board but I think there needs to be a bit more about healthy eating and portion sizes.
I understand ED's are mainly what your thoughts are but I have started to eat fairly normal now and things have gotten so much better and im sure it would help others too.
Although I understand there are rules about food and stuff so Im not really sure how it would work.
Im not very good at getting my points across but I hope i have made sense.
Thing is with separating the ED, it's no good just writing ana/mia all the time if you don't do anything, if you don't mentally separate yourself.. What's the point? Sorry, I just wanted to say that. (And comment aimed at no one imparticular)
Well, they are separating themselves and they are doing something aren't they? If they are naming the disorder, like many do with others too, it means they do not defy themselves as their disorder, which many tend to do, so I'd have thought it'd be pro-active.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Droplet
And thanks Sarah for being so honest there, was really good to read your point of view, as with everyone elses as well. :)
And yours, too. I get nervous about sharing mine, so thank you, I appreciate this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Droplet
I'd go to say I sometimes miss numbers also.. but they are not good for me and ultimately I don't ever want them back.
This I do agree with, too. x
Quote:
Originally Posted by Droplet
I think it's really hard, especially when you're in the middle of an ED, to separate what is good for you and what isn't cause something 'you' may like may actually just be a good source of fuel for your ED. If that makes any sense?
Yes, that makes sense. And since ED's typically do distort your mindset, it would mean you are not sure what truly is good for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Droplet
Food lists are more tricky than numbers but I'm sure many of us are well aware of the foods that contain little/a lot calories, just like someone shouting 'I ate a salad!!! OMG, I never thought I could do that!!' (or even something on the opposite end of the scale) can be quite triggering for me. It's not a reflection on their achievement or even intention in posting but my vunerability - an ok thing.
Why is that triggering for you?
Perhaps someone who suffers from anorexia is finding it hard to eat anything, and if they eat at least something, like salad, which is very good for you, so in turn, they may feel better about eating that rather than something like junk food, as they are not as healthy as salad, then it'd be an achievement, because they would have been struggling to even manage a crumb, let alone a whole salad.
Or, it could be someone who suffers from BED or COED, and they are doing well with their eating, they are binging less, and they are eating better, hence why they'd be happy if they ate salad and were keeping to a good meal plan, that'd be an achievement.
Say you find it extremely hard to go near any sort of junk food, and you eat a piece of chocolate cake - that'd be AWESOME and a very big achievement, and it should be celebrated. So, you'd come and say you've had some chocolate cake and that you never go near junk food, it'd have been an amazing achievement and something that is very new to them, and they could explain why, how they're feeling about it, etc.
There are many examples in which saying what you've had to eat could be good.
I guess I'm not making much sense here??? ...sorry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Droplet
I think it just encourages comparing, something some of us lean towards doing.
How would it be comparing?
I'm only saying to use the food names in celebrating what you've had, and how you feel about it, and all that. It could be good. But I do understand how it could become a comparison, however, I still think it could be good, maybe?
... i'm not in the mood to write alot but i'll just say i have read all. *Hugs everyone* The Eating disorder threads will never be perfect. Its such an ill hard deadly disorder.. everyone takes it different on what triggers and what doesnt. I agree with numbers being gone. I agree with the Ana and mia being banned. I do feel its too bubble wrapped though. But if there is the venting thread.. then thats all that counts. ED is such an emotional thing, its bound to always have some colorful trigger effect. Its practically second nature to know ur about to read something deep.
If separating is good for someone (which I believe it is for some people) then yep, it's absolutely good to write it down and give it another name. But if people are saying that it's helpful for recovery but they are just writing it down and often romanticising it in poetry/rants that tend to , I can't see how that is helping them move forward. I am starting to see your point though, whilst thinking about my reply, but I still disagree that we should use them here simply because it feels like a pro site.
What is the difference between writing 'mia is ruling me today' and 'the ed is ruling me today'. I know freedom of speech, not sure what else? I find it more empowering and less glamorising.
Why does it trigger me? Because I eat a lot more than salad and wish I ate just salad. Quite simple really hehe. Deeper.. it triggers me and takes me back to when it was an achievement to eat salad. I understand though that we can't cater for every single trigger. :)
No, Sarah, that actually makes a lot of sense, especially the examples and you've made me see it from a different angle! Hmm. I suppose then it's the comparing thing. I can see that it's also very hard sometimes to post practical eating achievements without breaking the rules, which could be especially hard for newcomers.
I think somehow it's also much easier now for the mods to enforce because if we did have food lists the triggering line would be a lot finer.
Eek, I hope that made sense.
Amethyst, sorry I'm not sure I know your name, your post has made me think - does anyone have any ideas of how we could incorporate more about healthy eating? Perhaps a sticky, or is that what we think is the answer for everything?!! I know there was a post recently asking for healthy eating advice and it got moved to General Support and Advice. I just worried in that case that some of us aren't the best people to offer dietary advice - because ED's distort what you think about nutrition, you take in some stuff and discard other bits. I'm really not trying to put anyone down here, I hope no one thinks that. Anyway - any ideas?
Love Miranda. x
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
I know there was a post recently asking for healthy eating advice and it got moved to General Support and Advice.
if it's the post i'm thinking of, it wasn't moved for asking for healthy eatign advice; the poster was asking for advice about dieting and loseing weight, which isn't really appropriate on an ED board.
A healthy eatign sticky was in the works for when we re-vamped them, but, err, I never got around to it. Sorry :/
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
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