thanks for the welcome, its good to be able to come to a place where I can talk about self harm and things and not be judged, I know I would be in my own church if I talked about it there. Even though I've just joined the thread, I'm glad you feel a bit better Nancy (:
It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls,
but only that we had loved them and that they hadn't heard us calling,
still do not hear us calling them from out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time,
and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.
If you guys could be praying for me, that'd be wonderful. I feel like I need to find a new church, because I honestly feel like an outsider at the church I'm at now, even thought I've been going there since I was in fifth grade. I just feel like I need to find a church where the people actually try to - and continue to - make me feel welcome.
But since I'm a minor, and my parents get to make all my decisions for me, I have to deal with the church I'm at now for at least another year. It makes going to church really, really hard knowing that I'm going to come home triggered just from the way the people there treat me.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls,
but only that we had loved them and that they hadn't heard us calling,
still do not hear us calling them from out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time,
and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.
Heyy...i came across this on the webb
I thought it was really nice :)
The Scars of Life
Some years ago, on a hot summer day in the south, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.
He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.
Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.
Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.
The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go."
You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.
The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.
"That is why, for Christ's sake,
I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,
in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong"
(2 Corinthians 12:13)
It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls,
but only that we had loved them and that they hadn't heard us calling,
still do not hear us calling them from out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time,
and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.
Wow... that story was amazing. Thanks for sharing it. It's a whole different perspective on the matter.
For Christians I recommend the book: Scars that Wound: Scars the Heal. It was really encouraging to me.
And I'm a Christian and I self-harm. I don't feel like God has left me at all... because he hasn't. but I feel like I've distanced myself from him because of what I do. I still believe, but I just feel like I can't really pray the same anymore or anything.
Anything that we turn to in our hurt and brokenness instead of God is going to make us feel more distant from him. He wants us to take our messed up lives and place them in his hands, not to cut, or drink, or bury our emotions away. That's one thing I've been learning lately.
I've been Christian all my life, but I really started to get to know God when I was in sixth grade. I've been struggling with SI for six years, right before I started going to church. I just recently told my youth pastor about it and next time youth group meets he's going to try to talk to me about it. I'm scared.
I am Tom the only guy in these parts and im back from my crazy summer of camp.
Salanna should be reappering soon...
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Hi, everyone! Just checking in...how are you all?
For all the new people since I've been around, my name is Jacie. Nice to meet you all!
Also...I know this is kind of a longshot, but...I'm looking at colleges to transfer to, and was wondering if any of you are at or know someone at:
1. Messiah College
2. Liberty University
3. Eastern University
Those are my top three. :)
Two of my cousins went to Liberty University in Virginia. One of them graduated last summer, and is going into youth ministry. The other is a part time nurse by choice, and has been for several years while raising her 4 children. I'll admit I don't keep in touch with that side of my family often, but it's become clear that their religious beliefs are very different than mine, even though we're all Christian. Liberty seems to promote a much more conservative, fundamentalist approach to Christianity than I'm used to. Growing up, these cousins were all very involved in their church, but they seem to have gotten more conservative after going to Liberty. I guess what I'm trying to say is that because my religious beliefs somewhat clash with those promoted by Liberty, I don't think too highly of the institution. But that doesn't mean it won't be a good fit for you- it would just be a bad fit for me.
Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside "Ups and Downs" ~ Kendall Payne
Coaster- Maybe you could try to find a different youth group and start from there? And thanks. I hope it does go well, it's just weird that I'm going to see him and he's going to look at me and know this horrible secret of mine.
I can't find another youth group. My town only has about 5,000 people in it. There's one other youth group I could go to but I just don't feel welcomed by the people there... it makes me feel worse instead of better. But pretty soon I'll be going down to San Diego for college and there will be a lot more resources there.
And it doesn't have to be weird that he knows. Everyone has their issues, and I'm sure he knows a lot of people's secrets. I'm sure he won't look at you any differently... only as a normal person with struggles.
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