Does someone being rude to you mean you should be rude to them?
So this is a train of thought leading on from the "youth of today" thread. If someone is rude to you, does that mean you should be rude back? Respect is given where respect is due but how do you earn that respect if you act like the person who is being rude?
I was raised to be polite even when someone is being a f*ckwit. Obviously i'm not always, i'm not a saint afterall.
But yeah..
Does someone being rude to you mean, that you should be rude back?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
That's a good question. When people are rude to me, I usually just blow it off. But I know how hurtful it is. The problem is, when you fight fire with fire, it just makes matters worse. Cliche, I know, but it's true. :/
In my opinion, this phrase - ..."mean that you should be rude back" - implies that the rude person A) deserves it and B) that you are practically obligated (for lack of better word) to return the rudeness.
Therefore, being the picky person that I am, I would disagree with that statement in particular. I would agree, however, that it gives you the right to be rude in return - in many situations, but not all.
Should you choose to? Ideally, no. It usually results in things descending into an immature mess. I try to be civil in situations like that, but I admit that it is fun slipping in a biting remark before I leave.
I think I might have gotten a bit too analytical :P
Respect is given where respect is due but how do you earn that respect if you act like the person who is being rude?
i think this is the important question actually, and im not really sure how to answer it. is it better to be confrontational or teach someone through your own actions?
in my opinion if someone is being unnecessarily rude to me its ok to be rude to them, but i dont see this as stooping to there level i see it as defending myself. (following on from that other thread) stooping to their level is walking up to an elderly person, you dont know, and demanding they pick up the rubbish under there seat because it obviously theirs, because back in there day the didnt have recycling and they're obviously to old to learn to fit into todays society. that is a complete stereotype pulled out of my ass but it just goes to show, how is that any worse then the stereotype that the rubbish is ours because were young and have no respect for authority/our elders?
It depends - sometimes if you look to soft you get more grief. Making a fuss or blasting someone can be ok since it can be done without being hateful even if it seems harsh on the surface. Being "too polite" can really bring the creep out of some people.
I also think it depends on the scenario and whether or not saying something back could lead to more trouble. I tend to just pretend that they were being perfectly polite to me. The only situation where I change is when a bus driver is rude to me, then I don't say "thank you" when I got off the bus.
I am normally just all nicey nice back to them. it gets on their nerves soooo much more. You also are not lowering yourself to their level of stupidity. works every time ;)
I also think it depends on the scenario and whether or not saying something back could lead to more trouble. I tend to just pretend that they were being perfectly polite to me. The only situation where I change is when a bus driver is rude to me, then I don't say "thank you" when I got off the bus.
Oooooo rebel :P
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
There is a lady who lives at the bottom of Dad's lane, she's lived there all of her life, and she's a bitter old cow. She is just so rude, once dad had said something that offended her, so he went down with a box of chocolates and some flowers; the next day, he came home to find the chocolates there, the flowers cut up and a note saying "don't think you can try and sweet me up with presents".
When I was about six, I was cycling down the lane, slipped over and grazed my knee. I was crying and bleeding and all upset, she just came out of her house and stared at me. There are fields all around her too, so nobody else was around.
Yus.
But I digress - I love love love being really, really nice to her, asking how she is and what she has been doing and whether she likes the weather when I see her. It's almost quite passive-aggressive; I know she hates it, but I enjoy being nice, and it's quite fun to be so nice to her.
I suppose that's not quite the point of this thread though, because I do it partly because I know it winds her up (although part of it is just that I struggle being nasty).
I don't like being nasty, and if someone is really horrible I do occasionally say something back - but not in a nasty way?
It does really annoy me when people are rude with their manners though, like if you stand for ages with a door open for someone and they just walk through; I'm likely to say 'Oh, that's ok, no problem!'
I tend to just sigh and make a mental note that I dislike people; I'm quite small and the idea of someone having a massive go at me doesn't fill me with much hope! Also, I'm likely to get punched in the face!! I just think knowing that you are polite and kind, that's the most important thing!!
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
no these days i nod and agree even if it aint my fault.
its better that way. No point being rude back it doesn't solve anything in the long run and tbh i just don't see the point in being rude back to people. even if your not in the wrong
People being rude to me tends to just amuse me, I even break out into a particular type of smile when it happens, and think 'you ridiculous person'. However if the situation warrants it, then I find a good (usually saracastic) come back is in order - also even if it gets to me, and I've had a bad day, I don't communicate I've been emotionally affected by it.
I dont think I can be as black and white to say either yes or no...If its something like people barging past me or whatever then I wont say anything, but if someone is hurling abuse at me, or its someone who lives near me whos constantly rude then I'll say something rude back.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
i don't think you "should be" rude to them back but i think it gives you a reason to be excused if you are.
depends on situations too, if i'm at work and someone is rude to me (unless they are shouting in my face which i will not tolerate) i have to grin and bear it because i can't just create a scene at work.
but if i'm just out and someone is unnecessarily rude to me then yeah i'm usually just as rude back (unless i'm on my own and they're in a big group and look like the may actually beat me up, or whatever).
the other day i was in kfc with my friend and this group of chav boys came in causing trouble, and my friend was like "wtf are you doing? have you got no respect? are you completely stupid?" etc and obviously by this point i had to back her so we got into a heated argument with these guys and they didn't hit us or anything they just shouted and we shouted back and whatever. i think they deserved it though.
I don't think that you should be rude back but if someone is rude to you then they certainly deserve it. But like most people have said, it's not helpful to retaliate.
I, however, can't help myself in some situations. If I hold the door open for someone and they don't thank me I will respond with a sarcastic "you're welcome" (it's about as rude as I can muster). If I'm driving and I let someone out without them saying thank you I will toot my horn! Yeah, I'm hard :p
I am normally sickly sweet to people who are too rude to talk to me. Like parents who don't say hello to me at the school gate or checkout girls who are sulking and don't say hello or tell me how much I owe for my shopping. With those people it is better to be overly nice and make them feel embarrassed by their behaviour, than get cross and make them more grumpy.
As a general rule, I think you should be respectful to people, rude or not.
That said, there are several occasions where a really great comeback has occurred to me and I can't pass it up. But I've found that it's far more effective to put a person in their place by reacting in a way that forces them to step out of themselves and SEE how rude they're being. And the best way to do that is to be civil. It's also the greatest demonstration of self-restraint and maturity, which makes the other person look pretty childish and petty in comparison.
Or, if you're good at that sort of thing, give them one of those scathing raised-eyebrow looks that says, "Really? You're gonna be that jerk?"
well, i have sown untidy furrows 'cross my soul,
but I am still a coward,
content to see my garden grow so sweet & full
of someone else's flowers.
I just think knowing that you are polite and kind, that's the most important thing!!
