Adult - Do you think men and women are capable of being "just friends?"

-Asphyxia- · 29-07-2009, 09:13 PM

I'm just curious, because I've had a few male (well, female too) friends make passes at me over the years, and honestly, it's made me wonder if opposite sexes can have a friendship that doesn't involve, well, sex. (Or sexual attraction. Could be as meaningless as a kiss or something.) Will one person in the relationship eventually cross the "more than friends line," or does it just depend on the people involved?

Also, I don't mean to make this seem like a heterosexist thread, but it seems only to be a problem with my male friends (though I am bi). My female friends have made passes at me too, but we always have talked about it and things have been okay afterwards...

Thoughts?

Tears and Rain · 29-07-2009, 09:31 PM

I think it depends on the people involved - if you're sexually attracted to someone who is a friend I think it's going to be a lot harder/less likely to be able to stay 'just friends', whereas if you're not I guess it's fine? By sexually attracted to I don't mean they have to be good looking - you can appreciate the way someone looks without being sexually attracted to them - but I just think that's always going to be there.
Then again I have friends I'm sexually attracted to - I just don't want to cross the line so it has to be like this so we are just friends..?

I'm just one big contradiction :)

Raven · 30-07-2009, 09:35 AM

yes. i have male friends and regardless of whether i think they are attractive physically or not i dont cross that line and would never dream of it.

im in a relationship though, so i wouldnt dream of having any kind of sexual relationship with anyone but my bloke.

Daryl · 30-07-2009, 08:07 PM

Hell yea!

I have loads of female friends

fallenshadows · 31-07-2009, 02:21 AM

Yep they can be friends. Ive had several female friends, that stayed jsut friends. Granted I might have hit on them at some point, but got shot down and am content with being just friends.

Casper_Fading · 31-07-2009, 07:49 AM

I have good friends that are male. One of my closest friends and I got together for a couple of weeks before we realised it was like dating a sibling (lol) but we were closer than before when we broke up.

So... yes. :)

Sigma · 31-07-2009, 08:02 AM

I have several male friends, having said that there's an element of 'chemistry' with all of them, but plenty of good reasons not to take it any further, so we don't cross that line :) They're all quite good 'talkers' though so we've been able to acknowledge the chemistry and move on...

Dan · 31-07-2009, 06:54 PM

Your question is confusing.

But to answer bluntly, yes. Females and males can most certainly be friends without sex, or romantic passes.

However, as for sexual/romantic attraction may be unavoidable, but not acting upon it is obviously possible.

I believe the answer to your specific question is yes. Men and women can most certainly be friends. Make it clear from the start that is all you want.

All This Time · 01-08-2009, 01:36 PM

most of my good friends are male. Doesnt automatically mean you have to fancy them or want to sleep with them.

88shelz · 01-08-2009, 01:42 PM

i think its possible but not always

Animad · 01-08-2009, 06:03 PM

I've had quite a few male friends in the past and some at present and mostly things have been nothing other than friendship with them. There was one who asked me out, I turned him down but there was a bit of chemistry between us for a while and then I started to like him more and things but we kept it together just as being friends and that's how it's stayed since and most of the others I've just been friends with and not even thought or wanted to take things further with them because I've just not felt that way about them. But yeh, even the guy that asked me out and there was something obviously there between us, we've never even kissed (a mystery to us all why we never did but there you go!) or anything and though he did talk a lot about wanting to take it further and I've thought in the past of taking it further (though wouldn't now for various reasons), neither of us ever have and it has not pulled us apart or anything.

Trucktastic · 04-08-2009, 09:40 PM

Yes, men and women can be friends

Loz

TsvTux · 05-08-2009, 09:39 AM

We should be comrades in arms as we all have to get through this life together the best way that we can.

consequential · 05-08-2009, 10:33 PM

Most male friends I had came onto me with me not encouraging them in the slightest .Maybe I have been unlucky.

Autumns Grey Solace · 06-08-2009, 12:54 AM

Yes they can. I do have a female friend that I'm close enough to that we share a bed when ever I'm over hers. We did nearly have sex once but it felt so awkward we never went through with it.

someoneiusedtoknow · 12-08-2009, 04:41 PM

Not in my experience, no. I've kissed all my male friends at some point/been kissed.

findingnemo · 12-08-2009, 07:35 PM

yes i think so

k-kasowski · 13-08-2009, 10:26 PM

i am a female, and i have a few guy friends, but most my friends are girls.

this summer one of my guy friends told me he loves me, and that just freaked me out. i mean we are FRIENDS. i dont consider us more then that., and i think it would be really awkward for us to be more then friends. i told him that, and he is alright with it, but now im kinda scared of what school, and the bus is gonna be like with him there. i havent seen him all summer.......i think its gonna be really awkward when we see each other at school. =/

sorry. everyone doesnt need to know that.

my answer to the poll is Sometimes/Maybe. Depends on the people involved.

Bellatrix · 13-08-2009, 11:03 PM

I think friendship occurs between men and women when one, or both, find they do not want to reproduce together (due to genetic characteristics and the like). Psychology gave me that black and white view.

Pictsie · 13-08-2009, 11:06 PM

Definitely depends on the people, if there's no attraction then yes no problem definitely. If there is attraction then it may complicate things, but how much will depend on the people and how they deal with it

personally I've managed both, fell for a friend and things got awkward, and also have other female friends that things are fine with, so yeah depends on the people