I was watchinga program on TV tonight about two 15 year olds who were exploring the idea of having sex underage. I dont really like to talk about it but im 20 in a few days and I've still not had sex. I mean ive had chances in the past but I was younger than 16 and didnt feel ready however due to being in hospital for a long time at the ages where people usually start having sex I've missed out. I;m just starting to go out with friends and stuff again so hopefully ill meet someone soon.
Anyway I was just wondering if theres anyone else in the same or in a similar situation?
Even if no one can relate itll give some people a laugh I guess.........
And if your thoughts should turn to death, you gotta stub them out like a cigarette..
i'm not in the same situation but i thought i wish i'd waited longer. of course its entirely up to you but i'd really recommend the first time being with someone you know and trust
take care
Don't feel left out. It doesn't matter how old you are when you do it. What's important is that it is with the right person and you feel the time is right.
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed
only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try - Mother Teresa
It doesn't bother me though, because I haven't found the right person to be with yet and all my relationships have been terrible, so I've never felt comfortable enough with any of them to have sex.
I want to wait until I'm with the right person who I love and trust before anything happens.
Last edited by GlitterTrashDoll : 31-07-2009 at 12:57 AM.
DILLIGAF
"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
♥
I don't think it's something to "laugh" at all, hon - waiting until you're ready is a great thing, and the people that are worth bothering with will respect you for it, as do we.
As people have said already, age isn't the most important thing. Your first time should be with someone you love (or at least like a lot), and know, and trust, and because you want to, not because you think you should.
A lot of people, contrary to popular belief, aren't all *doing it*, and quite some more wish they'd waited longer or waited to give it to someone different. So don't feel bad about yourself, feel good about yourself. Waiting for the right person and the right time for you will only make the experience much better :)
Thanks i just feel like ive missed out you know being in hospital and that. Kind of like not having a life because i wasnt able to go out with mates and stuff. Ah well...........
xx
And if your thoughts should turn to death, you gotta stub them out like a cigarette..
me too i think that its up to you when you feel you are ready and that you are with someone that you no you can trust do not feel pressured by anyone to do anything that you dont want to!!
me too i think that its up to you when you feel you are ready and that you are with someone that you no you can trust do not feel pressured by anyone to do anything that you dont want to!!
This.
Sometimes I feel like you and feel like I have missed out, or should have done it by now and that I'm weid for not have done anything. But then I know that I'm doing the right thing and waiting until I am with the right person.
Sometimes people make fun of me for it but it doesn't bother me because I think it's a personal thing and you shouldn't do it just to 'fit in' because then your doing it for all the wrong reasons. It's up to you when you do it and you shouldn't feel pressured to do it.
DILLIGAF
"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
♥
I wish I'd waited.
I know people in their twenties who haven't had sex so it's definately not strange to be a virgin. Some people whould have you believe that it's weird and everyone's doing it but that really isn't the case.
Good for you. Wait for the right person.
*hugs* you're not weird at all. it should be with someone you trust. I basically just did it at 18 kinda what you're describing with pretty much close to a stranger. because my parents had been super strict and not let me go anywhere i'd never had the chance to do anything sex wise. so the first chance i got i did everything all at once. it ended up quite a mess cause i was also quite naive. so don't do it cause you feel pressured. you should do it when you're comfortable with it. age doesn't matter at all. and 20 is pretty young.
It is actually more common than you think, and in my eyes better to still be a virgin and be in the position to be able to judge that you are ready and with someone you trust etc.
I was with someone the other week and he told me taht he was 20 when he lost his virginity, to be honest it seemed normal to me...
So many people regret their first time. Make sure you don't.
xxx
You made up your mind to torture mine!
If you read a scar like a book, you will relise the story in which you over look
I didn't get with my husband till I was 22 and he was the person i voluntarily had sex with. the 2 times i had no choice I don't count.
It's not really a big deal. I'm of the mind that sex should mean something and when your'e young i'm just not sure how much it really means... there are alot of people your age and older who haven't had sex. I really wouldn't be to concerned about it :) Just take your time and wait till you're read!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Make sure your first time is something which you'll be glad to remember. Your still young yourself so there's no need to rush. Kids these days are having sex way too young in my opinion so be glad that when the time comes hopefully it will be with someone you love and trust. That will be a much better experience.
Wait until you're ready, and I know it's hard, but try not to feel too much pressure from your friends/society. If friends *are* hasseling you about it, they aren't worth your time anyways!
I'm 24 and lost my virginity to a good female friend - who I had known for years prior - at 21 (I'm bi). I don't regret it, I had a lot of fun, and she and I are still friends. I would actually date her in a heartbeat, but she's seeing someone...Anyways, I didn't lose my virginity to a guy until I was 22. Part of me regrets that, because I didn't know him for an extremely long time (months as opposed to years), and part of me just wanted to get it over with. (Though I knew I wasn't a virgin...Doesn't make sense, but I think society tends to consider female intimacy less seriously.) He and I ended up dating for awhile, and it didn't work out.
I have another friend who just turned 25 and is still a virgin. It *really* bothers her, and I know it really bothered me before I lost it...But I think people place too much pressure on themselves, along with society...I am glad I waited until I was in college....(A lot of my friends lost it in high school.) There isn't a standard age when everyone should be "ready," it's a personal choice.
If you find someone, are comfortable and want to do it, go for it, but don't give yourself a timeline or be too hard on yourself...I've been there, and it's not fun. If you need to talk, you can PM me. Take care!
I know someone who was in their 30s b4 they lost theirs ,and I was 19 ,one of the last of all my friends but I waited until I wanted to.
I dont think you are strange or its anything to laugh at ,losing your virginity is a big deal ,and by now you will prob do it with someone that means something to you .
Especially if you were in hospital and not feeling well ,then you wouldnt have been really able to be having sex unless you had been in the relationship with a person who was supporting you through the whole thing.Its better to wait until you feel good ,so then you know its not something you did ,in the wrong frame of mind.So dont feel bad ,feel good ,that you are still pure !! xx
If it helps, I'm nearly 24 and I'm still a virgin. Mainly down to low self-esteem and confidence, not thinking I was attractive.... my biggest secret is that I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was the age I am now (23).... same with my first kiss, although that was separate. And I felt like a freak. I thought I was the only one. I thought my ex-boyfriend would think I was a weirdo, but he didn't.... in fact it made him like me even more as I was different to all the other girls he's dated. (I had the added problem that he was younger than me, so I felt even more of a freak!). As it turns out I would have seriously considered losing my virginity to him, if only we hadn't broken up like we did. Now of course I'm worried my next boyfriend won't accept the news so well. But that's his tough luck. I want my first time to be memorable in a good way and to be with someone special that I can trust.
I can relate to feeling like you've missed out. I often think how my mental health issues have held me back during the 'best years of my life'. I didn't socialise, I haven't worked, and like I said I didn't ever have a boyfriend till recently. And now I feel I'm far behind everyone else. But people are virgins for all sorts of reasons, and no-one should judge you for it. I certainly don't. It's good to be a virgin - as a virgin you can choose to lose your virginity. As a non-virgin you can't choose to get it back. So you have the power!
*hugs*
❤
