My collection of poems: WARNING POEMS CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT

[oreosandcookies]

So I decided to make a new thread of my poems bc...im bored basically and I have come up with a couple more poems. Here you can leave comments on how much you like them or how much you think they suck lol

All content (poems) will/may have a triggering affect on ppl so please read with caution.

Also all content posted on here is ORIGINALLY done by me. I normally creat poems when i am in a depressive mood.

I will post all my poems seperatly bc I dont want ppl to get confused and it looks 'neater' or 'cleaner' more organized etc.

I will start with the most recent...

[oreosandcookies]

My Friend

My friend,
I hurt
-You cant see it-

My friend,
I sceam
-You cant hear it-

Where am I in your world?

You seem to be growing closer -to the others-
When I seem to be drifting closer to the cornors
Of my mind
Where no light shines
Where no voice is heard
Where no heart is mended

Unraveling from the edges
Breaking in many places

My friend,
My pages are turning black
the color is draining from the chapters
that seem to repeat,
endlessly the same
endless stories of hurt,
pleasure, and selfish gain

My friend,
I am curoding in this confind spot
I am closterphobic
Which means I am beginning to get this knot
Deep in my stomach reminding me of my
Hearts throbbing plot
My friend,
The wind drifts me from place to place
The wind slaps me on my face
The wind whispers from the shadows
And laughs at the melting dreams of tomorrow

My friend,
They melt and drip
Into a pot
A pot full of high expectations
A pot full of hopeless talk

My friend,
I nee....I wan..I hop..."WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!!" -I need you-
I need your support
or something of the sort
Please be here for me
Through this state of hurt

My friend,
You say your here for me
You say you will never leave me

If this is true
-then-
Where the hell are you?

My friend,
I cant see you
I cant hear you
Your here in flesh
But not in spirit
I dont want you here
-near me-
If this is the way your going to be

My friend,

I can see when you avoid asking me the dreading question

"Hello, how are you doing-(any confessions?)-?"

I can see how you lie about how you want the truth
How you want me to open up
But you dont want it

You want a smile
You want a flirt
You want everything to go back to the way things were

But they cant
They never will

This chapter has been written in blood
Forever staining my livelyhood

So many mixed emotions
So many mixed feelings

I want your help
I want your touch
I want you to be my crutch

However, I dont want to wear you down

To wear you thin
Thats the last think I want for my best friend

So leave me in my corner
I will sort it out

Leave me to figure out this twisted plot
That haunts me every day
That haunts me every night

What causes me to write and write without any thought
It gushes out
If spills over the edges
Pages and Pages of my souls crying wedges
Between the life I want
And the life I live

I can no longer hear your call
I can only hear the
Broken angels song

My friend,
I wish to spare you
Take advice from me
No one wants to waste their time
On a hopeless case, like me

My Friend,
I wish you the best of luck
I love you
I truely do
If you need anything -anything-
I will a l w a y s be there for YOU

[oreosandcookies]

Dream on my sweet

Dream on my sweet, dream on
he says
not knowing what she dreams on

again
and
again

her dreams are f i l l e d with

web of lies

webs of sorrow
webs of defeat
the web of t o m o r r o w

all are mangled
all are narrowed
all are doubtful, weak and tangled

piercingeach heart whom she meets
causing them pain, woe and greif
she r e t r e a t s
in hope that she will spare those she meets

On her j.o.u.r.n.e.y
to a place
where she cant retreat

to a place thats dark, with mold.
to a place thats silent and cold.

this place she travels too 'can' be sought
however, there's always a plot

once you come to this place of sorrow
Your loved Ones will never see yoU
never again
not even tomorrow

this is where she will be dormant
this is where the c o l d is violent

it w h i p s her back with promise of numbness
with signs of strongness

she wails through her pain
while s i l e n t screams
Leak her name

filled with sOrrow of the marrow -
that promises her -
her deflated dreams of tomorrow

these webs were only a nightmare
strung f u l l of despair

she now wakes from her dream f u l l of fright
for she knew what was the plight

for the plight was not only in the n i g h t
it lingered from 'day to night '

from dusk to dawn
from dark to light

no
she knew
d e e p down
there was a fight

a struggle
a tug

a bash
a grudge

a person who was mugged

mugged of hope
mugged of light

they stole her dreams, loVe and might
through it all,
shE knew soMEthing was not right


As she gazed through the mirror
she flung back in horror

she saw this s m i l e
she saw this l a u g h e r

she could not believe it
not all
it had fooled them all

but not her
surely not her
she is too smart to fall
into that foolish and thrall

yet
the words are always dripping from her mouth
words m u c h like honey
tempting those who hear her speak
to belIeve in this foolishness and foully

the webs of anger
the webs of deceit
the webs that come to 'haunt '
her in her dreams

the lies she told herself
never seize
always c a u s i n g her pain
and grief

her dreams are filled with
web of lies
webs of sorrow

webs of defeat
the web of tomorrow

dream on my sweet, dream on
he says
not knowing what she dreams on

again
and
again

[oreosandcookies]

Push

i walk back and forth
from the door of self-worth

someone, push me through
into this other world

where i can mingle
amoungst the paper flowers

to another world
where i sing in castle towers

a place i can taste colors
a place i can waste my hours

push me into this world of great wonders

i dont care how i get there
you can push
shove
trip
or
bind me
just please hurry

my hope melts by every hour
every minute of
every day
driping its way

over the edges
over the ledges

through the seams
deep down
the cracks
moving as slow as wax

it binds me
restricts me
sufficates
torrments
and slaps me

whispers of hate
whispers of imperfections
whispers of anger
whispers of corrections

they mimic the voices of great loved ones
who scrutienze all I say
all I do
even small things from day to day

"STOP!!!!"

I scream
Inside my head

JUST STOP!!!, YOUR NOT HELPING ME , JUST GO AWAY!!!

It laughs as I cry
It laughs as I try
to hide this sadness and these many lies

So push

go ahead, shove me in the corner

hit me,
hit me like you mean it!!!!

hurt me,
hurt me like you want it!!

make me hover
make me scream

please??
please??..i beg you
i dont want to feel this pain

make me pace back and forth
to a familiar place
that i discovered a long time ago

a place i have not been for many months now
a place i have been trying to seek out

i walk back and forth
from the door of self-worth

someone, push me through
into this other world

where i can mingle
amoungst the paper flowers

to another world
where i sing in castle towers

a place i can taste colors
a place i can waste my hours

push me into this world of great wonders

[oreosandcookies]

My Aboulita

Her strength was like iron
Her hope was like light

Her voice was like a melody full of plight

She fought it hard
She fought it gracefully

She tried her best
Through her test
Now she is finally at rest

She is whom I will always love
She is the most beautiful women
Who now rests up above

In a land full of peace
Where she can be at ease

I love her with all my heart
And hope she can hear me

Cancer took her hope of seeing my future children
Cancer is what forged this bitter burden

My aboulita,

She is my hope
She is my inspiration

She loved herslef
Despite her lack of hair
Despite her lack of strength
Despite her lack of engery
Despite of several other things

She is whom I will always love
She is the most beautiful women
Who now rests up above

It wasnt her appearence that made her lovely
It wasnt her money that made me giddy
It was her heart dripping with honey
It was her soul bursting with bravery

She is whom I will always love
She is the most beautiful women
Who now rests up above

It was her hope that caught on like fire
It was her love that wrapped me like barbedwire

Her love was deep and tight
It helped me through that night

day to night
dusk to dawn

I miss her now that shes gone

She is whom I will always love
She is the most beautiful women
Who now rests up above

She is now bathed in light
She is my soul's reason for flight

For determination and illumination
I will suceed from this occasion

She is whom I will alwayslove
She is the most beautiful women
Who now rests up above

[oreosandcookies]

Sorry I just realized that I have been revizing some of these, so just bare with me. My windows is acting up...so when i put the poem in its including the html txt ((pain))...i shall be back later to fix some of it... all comments and huges are appriciated!!!

Love you all!!!

[shlay]

I totally envy you. You are an awesome writer!

[oreosandcookies]

what i am about to post is VERY tiggering....please be careful...
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'Untiltled'
I want to bleed rivers of red
I want to bleed this worthless dread
I want to feel the warth slip from beneath my skin
I want to feel that small scared sense of going too far
I want to express my hurt
I want to express why they didnt find
Me worthy enough to support me
Why?
I spent my life learning how to perfect this art
Now your telling me its not worth your support?
Not worth your time
Not worth your money
I want to say thank you
My hats off to you
Thank you for confirming my worst fear
I caught me off gaurd
I had no clue
I thought I was worth 'something'
But deep down i knew
The fear that I buried not too long ago
The fear that tore and broke my soul
Has now returned
Has now arisen
It has planted its roots
so deep in me
I dont know if I can ever be happy
Bleed,
Thats all i want to do
I want to bleed to make it all go
Shattered soul
Shattered dreams
Shattered reality
What else could happen?
Whats next?
My whole word shattered
discontinued
Its dripping from this life into another
Its turning into a nightmare horror
Everything that I lived for
Everything that I poured my soul for
Is now gone
In a flash of an eye
It has been ripped from me
It has been taken away
I wish never to see the light of day
I want to cast myself into darkness
I want to mold myself to the blending coldness
I am not wanted
I am not trusted
I am not worth anything
I am disgusted
Disgusted with myself
I deserve to hurt
I sat here, in my childhood
Beleiving I would never let them down
Now I have
Mom...Dad..i am truly sorry
Sorry for wasting all your hard earned money
Sorry for hoging all your time and daily worry
Maybe i will just wake up
Maybe this is all a dream
I think it is
Hold on lets see..

[oreosandcookies]

"Mom, deep down..I know"

Mom, I want to say so many things
Mom, please wait for me to tell what i think

My soul is no longer whole
My world has shattered since that day

I am no longer the same
You have noticed that somethings up
However, you never asked how you could help

Mom you hurt me with your words
they tear me apart
I hide it so you dont hurt

My emotions are like stain glass
They are hard to work with
Deep in color
-and-
Sharp with touch

They are confusing to make out
-and-
They gleam in the sunlight

I hide them from the world
I hide them from you

I didnt allow light to touch them
Because they gleamed
Because it stood out

I tried, once

Once I allowed the sun to come out

-but-

As soon as I did, you shut them out
You told me
"NO"
You said it was wrong

So i tucked them back away into that lonely room
To this day they sit in that room

Collecting dust
Gathering rust

To tell you the truth,
I dont know if they will ever be the same
I dont think they can glow
I dont think they can be framed

Mom your words echo in the corners of my mind
Accusing me of things that i did not hide

Mom I am the mistake

You said, "..I would take that night back, if I could."
You said, "..it was a mistake, I did."

I waited for you to tell me
That you didnt mean it
That it wasnt true
That you 'loved' me anyways

You never did
You didnt take it back

Now it has created this lack..

This lack of faith
Lack of trust
Lack of home
-a-
Lack for love

You say your here for me
You say you love me

But deep down
I know you regret me

Its in your words
Its in your eyes
Its in your movements
Its in your lies

I always felt, the 'black sheep' out
I never understood until that doubt

That trickled in

Until that wall melted away

That night I figured it out
It gave you away

I came running to you
I had questions for you

I needed you more then I ever have
And you just turned away

In disgust, you would not look at me
In sadness, you would not listen to me

I have forgiven you for telling me
"...I would take it back."

That night that forgied my beginning
That night that consecrated my life's story

I forgive you
But, I dont forgive you for *not* being there for me

Because you didnt help me
Because you wouldnt talk to me

The words that came out of your mouth
Were rude and disgusting

You told me I was a 'disrespectful child'
You told me I was a 'spolied brat'

All because I confronted you
About "that"

That thing, you said
This was...
"..none of your bussniess!!!"

The hell it wasnt
It was what created me
It was what made me
-ME-

Because of that 'act'
I started this habbit

That corodes my personality
That haunts my memory

I am not blaming you for my problems
I only wished you would not have

left me

In the cold
-and-
In the dark

That night I was a prisoner
Of my dread
I got all caught up in my head

I listened to that part of me
That I have been burrying

I released her
From her hiding

If you knew what I was talking about
If you knew what I am doing now

You would use those same words
You did that night

Words that are not encouraging
Words that are not "right"

Now, When you say you love me
I think twice

I am not sure how to say this
I am not sure if its wrong

But I want you to think twice before
I am all gone
and not coming back
Before I show you all my dread

I know I love you
Because your my mom

I love you 'everyday'

But, I want to know
Can you say the same?

Can you honestly say, that you love me?

You want to know what I think?
I think you love me at times

Not everyday
Not through the trials or woes
We have had

I think you struggle to love me
The way you should

I think you
-deep down-
You want me to be miserable
and squirming
-deep down-
I think you hate me
-and, to be honest-
I think you want me hurting

Want to hear my other theory?
You know how you tell me,

"I have poured all our money and time into you"
"I have neglected all your siblings, for you"

-I dont deny it-
-I know that this is true-

I would not be the violinist I am
If it was not for you

However,
Want to hear my theory behind this?
Are you sure you do?

I think the reason you do
-spend all your time and money on me-
I think deep down you argee
-upon my theory-

And that your sorry, that you feel the way you do
So your trying to make up for it
I know this is true

And I want to tell you it to your face
However, I know you too well

You would deny it, before the words left my lips
You would deny it, if you were confronted about it

You know how i know?
I know because you deny all that you do now

You deny that you single me out
You deny that you have treated me
-different-
From the rest
Like i said,
The black sheep out

But I am going to put a smile on my face
I am going to act
Like everything is back to normal

So you dont have to marvel
Or worry about me anymore

I am going to put on a happy face
And forget about tomorrow

Because I know everything will go back
To the way it was
To the fighting
Scrambling
Spitting
And straining
To get along

But I will pretend, for your sake
That it wont..
That it will be a 'happily ever after'
Ending
-but-
where do we go from here?
And when?

I need you to get back to me soon
because I am waiting on you...

[ksdaughter]

ur poems r amazing!!!!

[oreosandcookies]

Games

I dont play games
I never have so quit
trying to play with my head
I know what your doing
I know all of the tricks
I am smarter than that
and apparently quite surprised by your
ignorance and pride
I HATE playing games
thats just the way I am
I HATE the merry-go-round
it makes me sick
to think that you cant
'come out with it'
you obviously cant tell me whats wrong
why you keep hiding
why I am always walking
on egg shells when i'm around you
and to be quite frank
Im tired of it
I am tired of this crap
I have tried to help
but you just...
UGH
You push and shove
you twist and rip
my confidence
you shred my
patientce
until i
have
none
left
until its gone
I just cant do it
anymore
im only human
Friendship, is a TWO-WAY street
I have put and put and put
into whats supposed to be 'our'
friendship
I am all 'put' out
you havent helped at all
were supposed to share the burden
were supposed to share the hurt
But you have done neither
I didnt mind one bit, ok
maybe i did, maybe a little
I didnt mind
Bc at the time
you were happy
things started turning around for you
until
you stopped caring
that one day
But now
You say you dont want to be friends
and thats fine (ok, maybe its not)
but i just wanted you to know
that i do care for you
i really do
I just wanted you to know
a little bit of how I felt
since you take didnt
take the time to ask

[oreosandcookies]

Hope is
a fragile little thing
once its seed
is planted
in the soul
it can grow deep in your sorrow
with proper care it can
earase your problems of tomorrow---
But the tricky part is when
the trying
begins to fade
The deep gashes of doubt
seem to appear
out
of thin
air
Things begin to be fade
back
to the way things were
Then your stuck
sitting there
wondering
how you fell
from a place so
high--
that things were going
great--
like you could fly
Now your at rock bottom
groping in the dark
trying to make
sense
of this trap
Searching to find a way out
--
you try to see
with your hands
--
aware of that fact
that your going
deeper into
the darkness
--
a part of you
doesnt
care
anymore
--
but there is
a
little voice
that tells you
not to give up
just yet
--
so you dont
--
you sit there
--
hoping
--
This trap
seems to get
you
everytime
High and low
medium to small
Its an emotional rollercoaster
that you cant control
Thats what everything is about--
control
Hope--
Emily said,"Hope..
..is a thing..
..with feathers...
that purges in the soul.."
Hope, what a funny little thing.
It breaks easily
if you dont handle it with care
If you dont give it the
attention
needed--it fades
If you dont feed it
--it dies
so how do you obtain hope?
how do you let it florish
with in your soul?
Its here sometimes--
You just have to
chose
to see it
Other times
it hides
in the deepest
corners in your
mind
And maybe--
sometimes
it just
d i s a p p e a r s

Into the sky
Into the night
Into the stars

Have you ever looked into
the black sky--
a time
when
the sun
returns to
a place where
it
can hide--
and wonder
how
d e e p
the bowl that
h o l d s
the stars is?
Have you ever wondered
how
b i g
or
how
b r i g h t
the stars
h a v e
to be
in order
to
l i g h t
up the night sky?

Have you ever gone out
i n
the
r a i n
hoping
that like the rain--
your problems
worries
doubts
will just
m e l t
away--
with the rain

Have you ever just
l e t g o

Have you ever just
c r i e d
in the rain
with the hope that the
t h u n d e r
will
d r o w n e d

out your
s o b s.

Have you ever
p r a y e d
that
G O D
would take away the
h u r t
from your
l o v e d
ones--
and place those
h u r t s
upon your
shoulders.

Have you ever
b e g g e d
God to
t a k e
you from
this life.

Have you ever--
is the question
I am not sure
what these
things
are
I am not sure
what these
things
make me
feel

I have a hard
time
explaining
things
Thats why I write
Thats why I draw
But I cant bring
the words to my mouth
not at all--

the reason i dont go to them
about everything-
thats been going on
is because
i KNOW
they will d e n y
everything
they will
d e n y
it to m y
-face-
and that will
h u r t
more than
everything does -now-

I have -finally-
gotten to a p o i n t
in my
life
where the h u r t
is -bearable-
I am not
about to t u r n a r o u n d
to look
b a c k
-on the things that
I cant speak about
I am not about to
unfold the past
that i have so carefully
wrapped up and
burried deep
away in a location
I cant really remember
-No-
I will look
f o r w a r d
Because if I look b a c k
then it will
devour me
every thought
every look
every moment
of everyday
it will be bouncing
in the corners
of my mind
whispering
words of hopeless talk
whispering false hopes and dreams
Look- I can already hear
soft whispers-cooing
the soothing song of worthless dread
It will remain in my head
all the sleepless nights will return
the daily head achs will remain
crying myself to sleep-
does not sound like a worthwhile place
to return
-NO-
thats why I will leave it buried
I will leave it
in
the past
-where it belongs-
as it once did
and
that will be that
As long as its buried
my hope will always
remain
If it ever returns
GOD HELP ME
I do not know what I will do

[oreosandcookies]

As the sun peeks over the horizon-
It whispers promises of a new day
A fresh start-

I then take the time
to thank God
for allowing me to make it through the --night--
As the sunsets and the light disappears -
It whispers doubts of hope
Doubts of faith
Doubts of Love

I then take the time
to ask God
to give me
--his strength--
--his grace--
--his courage--
--his love--


Because anything is possible by the power of God
even if you don’t deserve it

These things should not be forgotten.

When the sun sings songs of warmth
I thank God for his creations
I take the time to admire his hard work
I take the time to praise him
I then ask him to help show me how I am worth something

When the moon sings lullabiesto the b r o k e n.
I pray that God will not allow me to feel A L O N E.
Because the worst thing in this whole world
is to feel
A L O N E
To feel the distance from
friends
and
family


If you have neither;
you have nothing

If you have neither;you arenothing

These things should not be forgotten.

It seems music is the easiest way to express your feelings
Its easy to create your *own* world

To go away
to forget
Because if you can f o r g e t
the things that hurt or haunt you
Then you have nothing to worry about
However,
forgetting and running are two different things.

When you run from the things that haunt you-
you can escape—but it a l w a y s finds
You at night-when your all alone--
then your trapped.
Because there is no-one to help you
there is no-one to lay beside you
to tell you –e v e r y t h i n g—is going to be
Okay
At that point—you have to comfort yourself
You have to pray that God will grant you the grace
to continue to >fight<the things that |b|r|e|a|k | you
Sometimes praying helps
Sometimes it doesn’t

The nights when you feel like God is
present just not ‘with’ you

T H O S E are the nights
that you |b|r|e|a|k|
fallhard

T H O S E are the nights
that
put you back to
[step 1]


Step 1: Stop.

These things should not be forgotten.

[littlebylittle_daybyday]

*speechless*
i only had time to read the first 3 or 4, but those ones were good, i will continue reading when i have more internet time. keep writing darling. you're truely talented.

[oreosandcookies]

thank you :)