Triggering (SI) - I didn't like it

[DestroyMe]

ok..my family isn't understanding of self injury, the only person that really gets it in my family is my younger sister who is only 14 but she self injures too (I've begged her not to do it and I'm a huge hypocrite for that but I've gone so far as to check her wounds to make sure they're not life threatening and make sure there's no new ones, I don't want her following in my footsteps and it hurts to see that) last night I was hanging out with my older step sister and talking and I was wearing shorts and they had ridden up to accidently show some recent cuts, some of which were pretty deep. so she noticed, and insisted on "tending to my wounds" she peroxided and dressed them and ect. and had a stern talk with me about "not doing that again etc." and the entire time that she was "takeing care" of my cuts I felt, guilty and tense and wrong, like I didn't want that because I had always taking care of myself and making sure none of them got infected and everything. but now that I ahd someone else take care of me it felt wrong. because that's something that I always do and having someone do it for me and be caring about it it just made me feel really bad.
is this normal I mean, I've never been to the ER for self inflicted wounds so I've always been the one to keep an eye on them but is it normal to feel bad that you're having somoene else care for them and in other words "take care of" you? my step sister is studying to be a nurse, and so she would not let me tell her no when she told me that she was going to take care of my cuts.
I hate the attention, and in a way I just want to be left alone about it.

[Lou Lou]

I'm not sure why you feel bad. Is it because taking care of the wounds yourself is part of ritual or because you just don't like the idea of someone paying attention to the cuts?

I used to feel guilty if anyone tried to mop up my cuts because I felt bad that they were taking time out of their life to sort me out when what I had done was completely self inflicted.

It's natural to feel bad when people make a fuss because SI is so secretive to most people. I guess all you can do is be grateful that your step sister was so caring about it all, I mean her reaction could have been a lot worse.
Do you think you would be able to confide in her in the future when you feel bad, now that she has shown concern and understanding and stuff? xxx

[Gone.]

I think I understand why you feel bad. I cant quite put my finger on it to describe it in words on here, but I know what it is. Is it to do with control or something? Like you do cutting for control over some part of your life, and you look after your cuts. By having somebody else care for them control is being taken out of your hands. Tell me if I am wrong.

Also, the reason the above said, if that is it?

I guess it might be because it is your private business and it is uncomfortable to have her tending to something so personal. Maybe you could try and see this as a good thing, you could try and see this as a step forward. The very fact that she didnt have a go at you and took the time out to look after your wounds shows that she cares about you. Maybe you could think about talking to her some time in the future?

PM me whenever you need.

Take care xx