Triggering (SI) - reached the breaking point

[tuefel_hunden_07]

So yesterday I just reached that point where I couldnt handle things anymore and I SH last night. At the time it felt like it made everything better but now i just feel worse. I promised my girlfriend that I would call her every time I had the urge to SH but I just couldnt dial her number. I just fee like there really isnt anyone I can talk to about it that would understand what im going through. Now Im starting to wonder if I will ever be able to stop hurting myself.

[Sometimes Crazy]

hey,

i can relate to not feeling able to ring up or open up to people about what's going on when we're feeling triggered. if you feel your girlfriend doesn't understand, could you perhaps print off some information to show her about self-harm so she understands a bit more?

you mention that before you hurt yourself, things reached a point where you couldn't handle it anymore.. do you feel able to talk to us more about what was going on for you at the time?

it is possible to have a life without self harm - but it requires finding coping methods for the "origin" of the harming. so really, it's learning to not need to rely on self harm to cope. do you have any professional support at all?

take care

x

[tuefel_hunden_07]

i kno she can relate to what Im going through bc last year she went into recovery bc she had an eating disorder. So she's very supportive and all but I just never really talked to any one about my SH especially when Im feeling triggered.

Well Im in the military and lately Ive just been thinking that I cant do the "military life" anymore but Im stuck in a contract for 4 years. And the people that I work with just give me so much ****. They make me feel like Im not "worthy" of being in the military and they always say that my reasons for joining arent "real" reasons. My parents back home lost both their jobs so now I feel like I have to some how figure out a way to pay my bills plus send them enough money to help pay there bills and I cant even balance my own freakin checkbook! I just feel like a screw up. Like no matter I do, I somehow find a way to mess things up. And all I want to do is just ask my mom wat I should do but she doesnt know I SH and if I tell her I know it would just break her heart and I dont think I could handle that, especially right now.

I dont have any professional help wat so ever. Im not even sure if my insurance would cover it and if they dont I cant even afford to go. Plus I have no way of getting to where the help is and back bc I dont have a car.