I LOVE your avatar, rustedchains! Newsies forever!
Hehe, thanks!
I am going to start composing a letter to my pastor. Would someone (more than one person would be great) be willing to read it over for me and tell me how it sounds? If you could send me a message (I get emailed when I get a PM and sometimes I forget to check this thread ) if you can help, that would be great!
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
forgiven&free,
i've been dealing with a lot of that myself lately. everyone has different problems, but we all have problems. we're all travelling toward a central goal of being like Christ, but we're moving toward that center from every direction imaginable. it sounds like maybe this woman is on the other side of the circle and you don't understand each other very well. I'm praying that this woman will have her eyes opened to her own flaws so that she can be more patient with yours, and I'm also praying for God to show you that you don't need to turn into the person this woman is trying to mold you into to be like Him. You need to be you. If God wanted you to be a copy of this other woman, he would have just made two :) He loves you for who you are, what you are, where you are--including all your problems and fears and doubts. He understands. He really, really does. It's so easy to get discouraged and fall into the trap of despair. It's so easy to let the fear that you can never be good enough keep you from even trying.
Maybe not everyone struggles with this like I do, but I gotta say, it's something I agonize over. Every time I take a long hard look at myself...well, it hurts like nothing else. For so long I've believed that if I only tried harder, did better...but I'm learning now that I can't fix myself, it's only an illusion. As Augustine said, "I can do no good". I feel like a dog chasing its tail.
And then a voice in the back of my mind whispers, If you could save yourself, you wouldn't need a Savior.
And I realize that no matter how watered-down modern day Christianity has beome, this is where it all began--the deep darkness of the human soul, where there is no hope left. Jesus is our only hope, and he has been the only hope to many, many, many before. You and I aren't alone in feeling tainted, unsavable. It's the most terrifying thing in the world to come to this place, and realize that we are completely--completely--at the mercy of God. It's terrible and beautiful and...aw(e)ful, in the truest sense of the word. But I believe we're among the few members of the human race blessed to see things as they really are. God uses the foolish and the weak to bring shame to the strong, to show his power and truth, and if you'll let him, he'll make you part of that.
And maybe this isn't at all what you needed to hear, but even if it isn't, writing this has helped me. So thank you :)
thank you! I need the encouragement... hard to remind myself that its so true the love of God is unchanging & if we could save ourselves, we wouldn't need Him... I'd like to share this site with you freedomvillageusa.com, if you get a chance check it out & let me know what u think of the update I wrote on it.... sometimes its hard to say your struggling when ur supposed to be the one holding others up... I'm thankful I could just come on this site & be real about how I feel. I know I won't actually cut myself ever again- I love the Lord to much, but the thoughts and negative emotions can be overwhelming sometimes... thank you
Have you ever wanted to get close to God, but felt like you just couldn't?
then
usually two things keep up from getting close to God...
1= our own sin, when we are in sin.. He is distant... &
2= the other is satan, there are times I have started to pray but then felt like I couldn't, other times where I felt too dirty or unclean... wouldn't it be just like satan to make us think we have to "be" any way never mind clean to be in God's presense.. Jesus says come as you are... Come, for Ye who thirst will thirst no more.
I challenge you to examine yourself & if there are things you need to get right, hey we all have "stuff", & then.... rebuke satan- "submit yourself to God rebuke the devil & he will flee".... out loud sometimes I have to speak truth & renounce the lies, :"I know I can go to God & i know He is right here beside me, cause I am His child, so satan I rebuke you...."
there are times when we are being tested that i believe God kinda feels distant, but even in those times I stand in truth, He is right there watching & i continure to pray, read, seek Him, and reach out to those around me in love... those are the times where we are to "be still and know He is God" not do anything drastic,just continue to put one foot in front of the other each day, believing & trusting in Him for our daily provision... His Word is Truth & He says in it He will never leave us or forsake us.. so don't believe the lies. God love you, & is right beside you....
whatever it is I know you can overcome it, cause God loves you & I am praying for you
I am wondering if you would be willing to share anthing specific I can pray for you about?
wow :) never heard of freedom village until now, but they are really doing great work! i'm surprised I haven't heard of them before since it's relatively close to me.
your update and your life are beautiful :) you're letting God's light shine through you, and we all know how badly this world needs that. it's very encouraging to see.
on an unrelated note, I may have finally found a church after the fiasco that's been the last year. I'm scared...I know I need this, but I'm scared. please pray for me about it. It's been a long time since I've been involved in a christian community of any kind...
I've just been getting involved in a new church these past few months, I was at the same church for 10 years with the last 4 being more and more distant. It's hard to start new at another church, but it's been the best thing for me. I'm sure once you find the right church you'll know.
I am going to start composing a letter to my pastor. Would someone (more than one person would be great) be willing to read it over for me and tell me how it sounds? If you could send me a message (I get emailed when I get a PM and sometimes I forget to check this thread ) if you can help, that would be great!
I'll give you letter a scan. ;)
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
usually two things keep up from getting close to God...
1= our own sin, when we are in sin.. He is distant... &
2= the other is satan, there are times I have started to pray but then felt like I couldn't, other times where I felt too dirty or unclean... wouldn't it be just like satan to make us think we have to "be" any way never mind clean to be in God's presense.. Jesus says come as you are... Come, for Ye who thirst will thirst no more.
I challenge you to examine yourself & if there are things you need to get right, hey we all have "stuff", & then.... rebuke satan- "submit yourself to God rebuke the devil & he will flee".... out loud sometimes I have to speak truth & renounce the lies, :"I know I can go to God & i know He is right here beside me, cause I am His child, so satan I rebuke you...."
there are times when we are being tested that i believe God kinda feels distant, but even in those times I stand in truth, He is right there watching & i continure to pray, read, seek Him, and reach out to those around me in love... those are the times where we are to "be still and know He is God" not do anything drastic,just continue to put one foot in front of the other each day, believing & trusting in Him for our daily provision... His Word is Truth & He says in it He will never leave us or forsake us.. so don't believe the lies. God love you, & is right beside you....
whatever it is I know you can overcome it, cause God loves you & I am praying for you
I am wondering if you would be willing to share anthing specific I can pray for you about?
<>< Jodie
Thank you for your encouragement and prayers.
There are DEFINITELY things I need to get right. I know that I'm the one blocking myself from God. Everything is connected and right now, I'm so-- disconnected. I'm not sure exactly what's going on w/ me.
When I was younger I had such a clear vision, such an awesome picture of who God was and what He wanted for me; now I'm not so sure.
It's not just spiritually, it's my whole life. I'm having a quarter-life crisis I think, (and I'm not even 25!). I don't know anything anymore, I'm not sure I like who I am or who I'm even suppose to be... and I don't want to keep waiting.
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Former christian, ultimately denounced it just didn't want to deal with it anymore
interesting to read about (as is most religions) but not so much to practice.
there are things in life I want to do and I don't want anything in my way if the chance ever comes lol
I wanna be a Comquack-not that I like or even know what that is, but because I think it sounds like something I'd be good at!
So... I was at a bible study / small group thing through church last night and had a couple people question me and say I should consider being re-baptized by immersion because sprinkling isn't bapti9sm in the holy spirit...
I completely disagree, and am very sure of my baptism, but that really upset me, and has me second-guessing attending this church. I know I shouldn't be doubting that part, because I love going there, but it came extremely unexpected out of the blue and I kind of shut down the rest of the evening. I know the feeling when I go blank and I could start to feel (or not feel in that case) it. I really don't want to go numb.
Ancalagon, maybe you could attend the same church but go to a different small group? and i think your baptism sounds perfectly valid, don't listen to them.
I don't think I'll be going back to that small group, I just don't want them thinking I'm the less-Christian black sheep or something who they need to fix.
please pray for me- lots of stuff needs to change in me.
i need to come back to god and i need to find a safe way through all that is going on. sorry cant say anymore.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
people in my church are trying to put me on suicide watch because i slipped up
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I can't see how i cut and how i am a christian at the same time. I feel like, i know, that the devil is telling me to just drop the subject of Christ, and stop worrying about that, because I already have messed up by having an eating disorder, by being a cutter, by being a bad daughter, by disappointing everyone with everything i do, ect ect ect.
But on the other hand, I know God forgives. I know if I am trying to stop cutting, then God can help me through this. And that God knows we are not perfect and that we're going to have slips.
These thoughts just contradict each other so much!
) if you can help, that would be great!
