Triggering (SI) - on the edge

[starting_over]

Tomorrow, june 19, will be 2 years since i last cut. I have done well with no self injury until yesterday when i did something else, not cutting, but still hurting myself. this has been made even more difficult because i am very honest with my councelor and i had to semi-lie to her today in session. Its semi since I told her had not cut, but did not disclose what i did do. we were on a tight time constrant and i was afraid to tell. by the time i knew she would be helpful not angry we only had about 20 minutes left and i knew i could drop that kinda bomb on her at the last minute. I also am taking my last class for graduation and the professor is a real ass. he is doing all he can to kick me out. i am trying to go through the right channels but it is getting very difficult. I want to cut right now. i dont care about starting over or losing two years. the other thing I did helped but my choice relief is cutting. what do i do.

great job on the two years! *hugs* i know it's rough staying away from SI. I don't think changing the form of SI is going to help though. Can you tell your counselor next time you see her? I'm sure she'll be understanding. Try and find distractions when things get overwhelming, like with your professor. And remember all the reasons you've stayed away from SI for two whole years. PM me if you ever wanna chat. I know how hard it is not to SI and i can say you're doing much better than I have! so congrats on that!