Glad you got your arm sorted Hollz.
My dad's lent me the money for a bottle of wine, and will be joining me with one from his stash. We're going to stream some stuff off the internet.
yeh it does, means it is less daunting with no men, might find it easier to relate, plus its every 4weeks, so i wouldnt need to go every week i spose, the only in paisley i could go to but it clashes with my body combat which helps keep m motivated and the other one nr paisley clashs with my weighwathers....i gave these excuses to my cpn though and she said, well you are onbiously not finding the gamling a prob atm, so if you aint then e will leave it be (because u aint being proactive in giving up)
Tomorrow is be proactive day
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
also you'll only be missing one session a month and the drive and determionation you get from the meetings might carry you through like the combat session.
hey guys.
hollz glad to see things might be getitng sorted well just a bit. that support might help. and calling and seeing your cpn sounds like a fab idea.
Really struggling with urges tonight. just curbed all my impulses as far as my best mate goes - he's got a girlfriend but since when has that stopped me- now i need a different release.. cutting ? drinking ? od ?
If i od.. i wont be using up nhs resources.. its kinder to the world .. shame i havnet got the engery to come up with a concrete plan
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
first appointment with my gp since the od and bpd diagnosis. should have seen her the week after but she was off ill. there's so much i want to say but its all muddled up in my head.
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
o.k. - so I have a question. Forgive me if it's been a topic of discussion before, I haven't read this whole thread (it's a bit long). Anyway - just wondering - for those who are diagnosed BPD. . . . are you the only one in your family?
I was merely a prune In a box of raisins Dried and shriveled Like all the rest. . . . .
ah, Gypsy Chick, excellent question! i'm not sure if it's come up in here before. i am the only person diagnosed with BPD, but i strongly believe that my mum has traits but has got better as she has got older and more equipped to deal with life (i remember her when i was a child, i think she had more traits then) and very much think my Grandma (my mum's mum) continues to experience BPD.
I'm the only person in my family with the diagnosis (I think). But I really think my mum had a lot of the traits. My sister is also as (if not more) impulsive as me.
AFAIK i am the one only person diagnosed with BPD in my family. My great aunt has depression though. But she isn't immediate family so apparently that isn't relevant.
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
ah, Gypsy Chick, excellent question! i'm not sure if it's come up in here before. i am the only person diagnosed with BPD, but i strongly believe that my mum has traits but has got better as she has got older and more equipped to deal with life (i remember her when i was a child, i think she had more traits then
This ^ completely.
Depression runs in both sides of my family, but when my mum was younger and even sometimes now i can see traits of it in her.I woulden't have the heart to say anything though!...
x
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
im the first to be diagnosed in the sense that everyone knows about.
my nan told me her mum was diagnosed (so my great nan) But my nan was an OT and didnt believe the diagnosis. So it was ignored.
but lets face it. would have been nice to know so i could have talked to someone about it. she only went and died 2 months ago . grr lol
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
Im the only one in my family that has a diagnosis, but sometimes i wonder if other people in my family are ill too. I know a few generations ago someone killed themselfs in my family, but i duno.
The problem with bpd is it doesnt need to be genetic to happen, its the whole case of Nature vs Nurture vs Enviroment. Any of the three factors can cause it to develop
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
guys i dont know what to do.
i see the therapist i see the psych i see the counsellor. but none of them are here when im breaking down.
none of them are fixing me. Help.
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
But i cant fix myself. I do everything they say and nothings works.
The medication doesnt work. Challenging the thoughts isnt enough.
I dont want to do this all again. it feels never ending.
I cant call them. or rather i wont.
Helplines i use when im suicidal. Not before then. Becuase yes death seems ideal but i havent got the engergy to get out of bed and do it
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
