Adult - really dont know where to put this

[Cacoethes]

so im sorry if this is the wrong place.

i know this is going to sound really pathetic and stupid but here i go.

so, i think im having a bit of a problem with, promiscuity, if that is even a word.
everytime a guy asks me to do something, i do it without thinking, even on webcam *embarrassed*
then afterwards, i feel so dirty, used, stupid.
i know the answer that most of you are thinking of, just dont do it then, simple.
but its not
i know its so pathetic
but i could use some help before it all gets too.... out of control
i just feel like such a slut
maybe i am
idk
thanks for reading

[Phil]

Hello becky,

OK this is from a male point of view.
Your not a slut, trust me i have met a few...

As for feeling uncomfterable doing stuff, i know its proberly not the sort of reply you want but, when somone asks just say 'f*** off' they shouldnt be asking anyway! if its saying no you have problems with then you just need to do it once and it will be easyer after that.

ur not a slut, i know what you mean by feeling used dirty etc...i have been through something like that before...i used 2 get really drunk and id end up in hotel rooms with strangers...and i've done the cam thing too....this may not be very helpful but if u ever want to tlk or anything then im only a pm away

*hugs*

[Cacoethes]

thanks

i dont know why i find it so hard to say no
and i know i will feel bad afterwards
but i still do it
and i have no idea why
its really frustrating
and i know this sort of thing will get me into a lot of trouble one day
well, more trouble

yer, i know what you mean, that thoughts crossed my mind before!!

i know with me it sometimes has something to do with feeling wanted, makes me feel good sometimes!!
it can make you feel good about urself

is it worrying you? stupid question :S

hope ur ok

[starseeker]

i know its difficult for you, but could you find a distraction like coming on here if someone asks you to do something you might regret later?
i can totally understand where your coming from though, so sorry if i sound like a plank.
x

[Cacoethes]

thanks for your support guys

when i do these things, its like i dont think at all, and then feel horrible afterwards, its like a natural reaction
which makes me feel worse
its so frustrating
i know these guys dont care about me
they use me and never talk to me again
so why do i feel the need to keep doing it?

[iloverats]

maybe you like the attention while your doing it?
and you like to please?
you'll feel good knowing your pleasing someone.

i'm exactly the same. i thought i was lesbian until recently, now i'm doing all sorts with men, things i shouldn't be doing, i feel disgusted afterwards, and i dont even enjoy it whilst im doing it most of the time.

but while im with the guys,
they make me feel good.
they're nice to me.
i have company.
i dont feel so lonely.
it feels good to please.
i like the attention.
and tbh its the only time i 'socialise'

i know i've been used, every time, but i dont care, cos i get to feel a bit better just for a little while.
and yes i feel AWFUL afterwards.
i'm not even going to admit how much i've 'been around' recently.
i think its destroying me mentaly, further, but i contine to do it as i like the attention, simple.

i dont really know what to say, or suggest, but i hope that yo can stop doing it as its not good if it makes you feel bad afterwards.
pm me anytime.
xxx

[Cacoethes]

yeah, that pretty much sums up what im feeling.
i do like to feel wanted, even though i just end up feeling used
this is why i usually choose not to go out
i know ill just end up doing something stupid
my friends laugh about it, not unkindly, they just dont get it.

[DevilzKisses]

I know how you feel. I used to do it too.
You feel good for a while and it's like people like you and stuff.

I know it's really difficult to not do it. I found the only way I managed to do it was to completely cut the whole thing out of my life. Chat rooms, my entire msn list just had to be gone. I didn't talk to any of them anymore, because I was so sick of it.

I don't know if that would be what you want. And I know how incredibly hard it is. The most important thing is that you have to want to stop doing it.

Good luck :)

[Cacoethes]

i do want to stop doing this
it feels quite degrading
and im thinking now that its not me these guys like
just what they see
i feel so worthless

[samshine]

I've also had problems with promiscuity, I always prided myself on being an honest and loyal person and promiscuity being the only borderline criteria I didn't meet. I married my first boyfriend and have always struggled with very low self esteem, so after I lost a lot of weight and guys started showing interested It became a compulsion and almost destroyed my marriage. Sex has changed its meaning to me and has almost become another form of self harm. Something I crave to do, enjoy the experience and regret it afterward while becoming consumed with guilt. Maybe this is something you should talk about with a professional to help find out what makes you do it. Remember you aren't a slut and you desreve better than what these guys are giving you. x Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to x

[Cacoethes]

i cant thank you guys enough for your support.

i have decided to stop going on msn for a while.
but i start college again tomorrow
and im scared, becuase it happens there too
cant escape from it
i suppose i could always hide in the girls toilets for the whole day
:s

[gotta-breathe]

hey sweetie. I know lots of people have already shared their support but I just wanted to lend you a little of mine.

I know exactly how you feel. I'll send pictures of anything to anyone. No qualms, though of course I've been warned about how easily they get sent around. I'll do webcam stuff even though I hate it.
For me, its that I hate not pleasing people. I have to make other people happy, and I dont withhold things from them. Maybe its a little of that?

Just remember that you deserve to feel special, and whole, and safe, and clean. *hugs*

[Cacoethes]

thankyou

i havnt done it in a while, ive been avoiding msn, school is a bit hard, but ive been back 2 days now and nothing has happened.
i still feel like im a complete and utter slut
maybe i am :s

maybe tell guys you're not interested in being intimate with anyone right now? that way you're not rejecting them. you're just saying you don't want to date or do anything sexual. that might help you be able to better say no. another way is to just kind of give nonverbal clues to guys that you're not interested. sometimes you have to be almost rude, not becoming chatty with them and such if you suspect they have sexual motives. (it's unfortunate but it works) but i think if you make it a general rule that you don't do it with anyone rather than saying you don't want to do it with them i think you'll find it easier to say no.

[Spirit of an Angel]

hi scarlet web
i understand were your coming from like the others have said the firsst no is hard but it does get easierif you wanna talk pm me i will get straight back to you.


free spirit

[Cacoethes]

thanks

im going to a party next week, for my freinds birthday
were going to this boys house
im a bit worried
coz tbh i will probably get really drunk and god knows what will happen.

any advice? i really want to go, its my best friend, but im also worried

[iloveyoutotheb0nes]

i had these problems in the past, not as much these days, but definately before. if a man asked me to do anthing i would always do it, the only way i stopped was to completely remove myself from the situations. Whereas before i used to be a member of a lot of adult profile websites, now i am not a member of any, and i have cut off all of my friends from those dark times.

If men are using you in that way they are not worth knowing, even if they seem like the nicest bloke ever, they're really not.

try and detach yourself from it as best you can hun,that doesn't mean not going to your friends party, maybe go but just don't drink too much, space each drink with a soft drink etc?

[Cacoethes]

thanks for the advice
im going to try and be sensible
im thinking of asking my freinds to keep an eye on me
make sure i dont do anything stupid