|
Triggering (Suicide/Sexual Abuse) - too hard
this is all too much. its too hard. i just cant cope with the pain anymore. lately everything seems to be reminding me of all of them. i found a picture on my computer of me and my ex. we looked so happy. so together. so right. i ruined it. not him, me. if i hadnt have fallen asleep we'd still be together. we'd still me ok. we'd still be happy with each other. but i ruin it. maybe if i had taken more tablets the first time i ODed things would be better now. maybe if i wasnt such a Failure things would be ok. i cant even kill myself right. its just all too much. and maybe if i had just given *name* the blow job he wanted we would have stayed together. we could have been happy together. but i ****ed that up aswell. but its not like that is it. its not all happy and what not because of me. because i messed it all up. Brians right its all my fault. if i hadnt have been such a complete wimp i could have been happy. everything could have been ok but its not because of me. i messed everything up. i just dont know what to do anymore. its all too hard. too much pain. i just cant do this anymore. everything would be better if i were dead. everything would be so much better. just too hard. just too hard. sorry to waste a post.
|
