Dink-I had people do the same to me. Says more about them, even if it does hurt. x
For those worried about summer and scars-I believe your GP can refer you to have specialist lessons on make up to hide it. They do a really good job. I think St John's Ambulance do it.
dink - its ok that you slipped up and gave in. i dont know many who wouldnt after hearing that.
it can be so difficult for people to handle. and it hurts 1000 times the more you trust someone and when it comes out of the blue, but you have to accept they did what was best for them, because its hard to understand bpd and hard to keep giving reasons and excuses.
thats not me condoning the abandonment of frienship and "exile" of seeing her child... but its soemthign that you cant change, your friend might feel that they can cope again soon, or it might be they cant.
pick yourself up. Your strong enough to handle this hun. your showing such corage and determination because you phoned someone before cutting - you challeneged your urges and impulses
x
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
High has passed :( It was nice to feel like that again. It was end of last year when last had one of those. Bought lots of things - oops.
I didn't cut though. 2 weeks free and trying for 2 weeks and 1 day
my highs come and go like that to.
im glad you didnt give into the si, and whilst the buying lots isnt as damaging still remember you need to be in control of it even when in a high,...
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no triggers for my mood. a change in room .. moved from my room to the living room, soemthing like that - so no logical change
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
Just had a call from the private psychotherapy place I had contacted. They basically said that if the Red House had concerns re my safety and thought I should be placed in their 5 day a week programme to keep me safe that they are likely to have similar concerns. They won't know without me filling in the questionnaire (which is pretty much the same as the one I did for the NHS) and attending an assessment. As if I am going to bother to do that and pay that money when they are likely to come to the same conclusion.
Why do I bother?
In order to have the psychotherapy to help with the borderline and other stuff they want me to be safe but if I was safe and not harming etc, I wouldn't need their help.
Feel like people just keep kicking me when I am down
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Hey, No Reason,
I was told by my cmht (at the time I was diagnosed with BPD, I am not anymore but still check in this thread to see how people are) that I was 'too unstable' for them to give me psychotherapy, and I knew I needed it, so my Mum being a therapist herself found one for me through a friend she knew, and it has turned my life around. I use my DLA to pay for it.
I recommend the '**** you' attitude to people who say you're not safe etc, I believe the BACP website have a directory, I looked into these places where they're like a 'place' like you said, you know, I found they weren't any use, but if you find a good private psychotherapist outside of red house, etc, and speak to them on the phone, they may be able to help. Often you need to speak frankly to someone caring on the phone for them to help. Anyhow, with your permission, could I ask a few people (my ex-carer who is also a psychotherapist, my own therapist, and my Mum) if they know of psychotherapists near you (Greater Manchester right, looking at your profile) and do a bit of research myself, I'll see if I can find anyone. If that's ok? Don't worry if you'd rather I left it, just thought I'd put it out there.
Hey, that's very kind but the private psychotherapy place is approved and recommended etc. I was hoping they would be more likely to take me on because I was willing to pay. I had a fairly long 'phone conversation before with one of their therapists.
I'm just screwed, can't get the help I need.
I should stop trying, it was silly of me to think that anything could change.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I'm having a hard time with this all, it's a brand new diagnosis. I know it fits, I know it's right...but I keep thinking it's maybe not, maybe it's not real...
Anyway, I just thought I would pop in and say hello. I'm hoping I might get some advice on how to cope and things :S
i think the worst thing to do is to sit and worry and overanalyze it. Fair enough you have it but whats the point in thinking about it all the time. You are still you, a lable doesnt change that.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Hi sweetie.
i know it feels like your being kicked in the teeth, stick with the nhs as much as you can, my current therapist - private - works with people who have bpd and other things, and operates a no self harming policy which is hard to stick to,and when i od'd she nearly discharged me so i understand where your coming from but its important not to reject the help.
getting ongoing support for 5 days kind of thing might not be that bad, could be the right decision ?
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
I'm sorry to hear that many people are suffering and struggling at the moment. Don't forget you ARE stronger than you believe you are.
You CAN do it! Think about how many crisis you have overcome, although you hadn't believed you will make it BUT here you are and you can go on .
I guess, we should never forget that. If we cannot believe ourselves, perhaps we could believe each other here.
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I did something and I am not sure whether I did something really stupid OR something well.
During the last few appointments, I had problems with my therapist again and because the nearer my next appointment came, the worse I felt, so I called and quit the next appointment.
Is it coward to do that because I run away from the problem OR is it brave because I listened to my feelings?
I am thinking about writing her a long letter in which I explain all the things I don't agree with and which makes me upset and angry.
But well, the thing is that I sometimes write very long and very angry "over the top"- letters and don't see that they are too harsh .
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During the weekend, I had some problems with my parents because of my studying or well, my failure to study right now.
The discussion about it was very hard for me and after that, I had stomach aches for days.
Oh, and my mood swings are very extreme right now.
I can't control my destiny.
I trust my soul. My only goal is just to be. (Rent)
I'm selfish, inpatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. (Marilyn Monroe)
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