Thank you children :]
And yeah, the exams are going okay..I'm half way through now =D Just two more AS level exams..and one GCSE for ICT which no one really cares about, so..it doesn't count =P
It's raining all of this weekend, so if I give up with revision, I shall write some more..you lucky, lucky people :]
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
I gave myself a break from revision after the TWO exams I had today, one of them two hours, 15 minutes..and the other three hours =( It killed me.
^Omg. I thought i had a lot yesterday! What exams were they!? Poor you. Well good luck with the remainder!
Can't wait for more updates, the last was absolutely fantastic!
Ahhh, I saw that you were the last one who had posted and thought we were going to get another chapter! Now you must, the last chapter was superb! Love it, keep it up Nic (without a . ):)
Angels are friends who supportyou when your wings forget tofly.
Despite what had happened the day before, I still found myself in the car with my mother driving towards the clinic where I would apparently be spending at least a few months living, before I could even visit home. The clinic had phoned my mother and told her exactly what would be happening with me. I didn’t like the fact that they didn’t ask to speak to me, nor did they ask my mother to share the information with me, as if I was just a small child, rather than a seventeen-year-old girl. The only thing my mother had told me was that I would be there for several months before weekly home visits and that I really needed to sort myself out if I didn’t want to stay there for the rest of my life.
We sat in silence for the entire journey, neither of us taking our eyes off of the road in front of us. For her it was a break from the pain I had caused her, the intolerable daughter who was now, in fact, extremely ill. For me however, I could already tell it was going to be a prison cleverly disguised as a friendly, welcoming house where they would force calories down my throat as often as they could, removing my control from me and fattening me up to send me home again; the perfect daughter. No problems. No issues. Nothing. Just Keira. It will never be just you. Don’t forget me.
I stopped daydreaming before I realised we were in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing but forests around us and the road ahead. I saw a sign saying Welcome To Bridgend Clinic. My breathing became sharp and I clutched my chest, terrified my heart was going to burst out from beneath my rib cage. I saw my mother glance at me from the corner of her eye, but she did not offer to turn back, to take me home and help me there. She only said, “It’s okay.”
“No,” I whispered. “No it isn’t. Please take me home.”
“You know I can’t do that. You need the help. This place can help you better than I can, if I take you home now, your bad habits will continue and you’ll end up killing yourself. I know you don’t want to be here anymore.”
I wanted to argue, but I felt I’d lied to her enough already. So I just closed my eyes and listened to my heartbeat in my ears. The winding road towards the clinic was longer than I had expected and after a few minutes, my mother spoke again. “They told me today was going to be easy for you. They’re going to just weigh you and check your pulse rate, blood pressure, and things like that. It’s to see your progress and to show you how you’re getting on. Once your weight increases, they’ll be able to help you deal with the negative thoughts and feelings.”
Just the thought of my weight increasing made my eyes fill up with tears, threatening to spill and admit my vulnerability. I squeezed my eyes tighter and clenched my fists together until my nails were digging into my hands so hard; I felt a small trickle of blood roll down my right palm and land on my jeans. The car stopped and I heard my mother distantly say my name, then get out of the car. I slowly opened my eyes and saw her talking to a woman in a nurse’s uniform, who then bent over slightly to peer at me through the driver seat window. She beckoned me to join them and I took a deep breath and got out of my side of the car. I walked round to stand ever so slightly behind my mother and my hand reached out for hers, which she rejected. Told me it was okay.
The nurse put out her right hand, waiting for me to shake it and told me her name was Tara. I looked at my own right hand and saw there was still some blood there. I tried to wipe it away quickly, but Tara reached across and gently took my hand, bending it slightly so she could take a look. My mother tutted and Tara looked up at her. “Nerves,” she said. “She’s not the first one and won’t be the last.” She looked back at me and said; “Let’s get this cleaned up and I can show you around Bridgend Clinic.”
I nodded and told her I would like to get my bags from the car, to which she replied, “Don’t worry about that, another member of staff can get those.”
As if right on cue, a man appeared in the doorway and smiled crookedly at me. He must have been in his early-twenties and his clearly straightened hair flopped in front of one of his eyes, which he then flicked back with a swift movement of his hand. He introduced himself as Harry and politely asked my mother to show him where my bags and suitcases were. She opened the boot and he began to unload it, complaining about how heavy the girls’ suitcases always were; as if they were going to be there for a lifetime. He laughed and I chuckled nervously, still standing facing Tara, wanting this all to be over.
“Come on then,” Tara said, turning to face the clinic slightly. “It’s time I showed you around. Your mother can come too if she likes.”
I looked hopefully towards her. Without looking up from watching Harry lift my things from the car, she declined the offer, “I have to go back to work. I’ve taken enough time off as it is.” She glanced at me, and then looked away again.
Once Harry started to drag my suitcases into the clinic, my mother came over to me, pecked me lightly on the cheek and got into the car. “I’ll phone later, see how you’re getting on,” she said. “I’m glad you’re getting the help you need now, I only wish I’d done more. I didn’t want it to come to this.” And with that, she drove away. I stood there, motionless, watching her drive down the winding road, bailing on me yet again.
I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder and turned round to face Tara who had a sympathetic look on her face. “Are you okay?” she asked. It was then I realised I was crying. I nodded and she took her hand away from my shoulder, turning to face the clinic again.
For the first time since I got there, I properly inspected the building. It didn’t look like I had expected it to. It looked more like a great mansion, with old-fashioned windows and massive wooden doors, which looked like they were difficult to open. However, despite the old look of the clinic, there was no ivy growing down the walls like I would usually expect to find on old mansions like this, but it was surrounded by trees and bushes and other such plant life; making it look as welcoming as possible.
Tara started to walk up the steps towards the wooden doors and I followed behind, subtly putting my hand in my pocket to feel for the blade I had secretly stored away in my jeans for the time I was there. I felt the cold, metallic sharp edge dig slightly into my fingertip and smiled; at least one part of my control was not being taken away from me.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
whoop whoop - this is really well written huni!! Huggles x x
StillBroken is my cool lil sis!!! - surprising mystery is my uber-cool monkey!!!zowie is my lil sis !!!!- LetDeathEmbraceUs is my Wolfie !!!
BrokenKisses is my DizzyCandyFloss !!! rachel487 is my lil sis !!! nuttergirl is my kool neice !!! CrazyKat is my book buddie !!!
NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU FEEL - ONE NICE PM TO SOMEONE NEW A DAY HELPS!!! TRY IT!!!
wow
