I'm confused tired and had enough. i want to cut so badlt but i cant because i promised everyone i wouldnt, its getting to me so much cos it is starting to take over my life again. i beat it for 3 months and felt the benefit of not havin to sh but also i needed it in my life for so long then it ruled me and was constantly on my mind all the time. i cant tell noone what my problems are cos i cant open up which causes alot more problems for me. i just want to go so much and i just want to see the blood dripping down my arms once again but its not going to happen, it cant happen... or can it? thats the problem i dont think i can beat the sh once again i became so weak after last time that now i can see i have a problem but i am tooo weak to fight it again, i have just given up all hope on everything my life is once again just falling apart, but to everyone else i am happier than i have been in months but truth is i am far from it, i think im gettin close to the worst i have been but its being made worse by not shing. but then if i sh everyone will hate me if they find out but then if i dont ts just going ot make me worse
erg! im so confused my heads messed up n im becomin ill in nearly everyway possible and i reli dont like it it stops me being me even for a little while when im with people i know i can trust...
its just messing me up but i cant see anyone about it but now i know im not string enough to ight it alone...
sorry to bother you id b surprised if any one actually read this
Try and distract yourself when you are wanting to hurt yourself. Hold ice, punch a pillow, phone a friend, just please don't take it on yourself. If you need to see blood going down your arm, then why don't you fake that sensation by using fake blod or sauce or something?
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
have you tryed a hobby?
such as dancing or something you'd enjoy?
i tryed that, and it helped so much.
i danced and danced and it took my mind off of cutting and i focused in on dance.
try something you'd like,
just try so hard to take your mind off of it,
i know its the hardest thing.
but, it may help.
im here if you ever need to talk.
PM me.
anytime.
I've found that through a new hobby, I have distracted myself from the urges.
I picked up the acoustic guitar. Although I am horrible at it... I get so distracted with playing it, that the urges to hurt myself go away.
Read a book.
Listen to music (preferably music that doesn't have words)
Take a walk
If you have a pet, pet it.. play with it..
Watch tv
Take a long bath (when I do this, I use lavender oil.. it calms me down so much)
_______
As for seeing the blood run down your arm.. I have tried the method of using a red marker (or any type of marker if you do so wish.) It has worked for me a couple of times... but I recomend this method. It may work for you.
Or as Hollz stated, use fake blood or other substances that resemble blood, but isn't.
Just keep your head up... you are stronger than you think.
PM if you ever need to talk about anything... anything at all.
As the others have said distractions are great at destroying urges and the suggestions above a great what about visiting the f and d forum etc. as well?
I also think that it is important at looking why after 3 months these thoughts are surfacing again and how you can stop them reoccuring what helped you with the urges last time?
xooxx
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
Firstly, dont promise other people that you wont sh, ive tried and when i did it was so much worse because i had all that guilt aswell. I really suggest prehaps squeezing ice to try and ween yourself into something less damaging. sometimes i hold something cold to my wrist but not something that will leave a mark, prehaps see if that works for you.
Someone i really respect once told me you should never promise yourself, or anyone else that you wont sh because it just makes it worse and she was right, also no one should judge you for what your going through, and im sure if they are your friends they cirtainly wont hate you if you do slip up, you just have to get through things one day at a time. xxx
~*~Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out - but to see who cares enough to break them down ~*~
To the people who have continually broken down my walls, thank you, you are real friends who i will never forget. xxx
Try drawing on your arm with a red felt tip pen where you want to cut, that helps me sometimes.
Or scribble really hard on a piece of paper until your arm hurts.
Just think about stuff that makes you happy. For me, that's music, so I listen to music.
If you slip up, it's not the end of the world, but you have to keep on trying.
i have tried most of them things but none of them work, it feels like SH is the only way to solve these problems beause nothing else helps me the way SH does which is a problem. i think in this case it isnt me not being strong enough anymore because i have proved to myself that if i wanted to then i could stop but then maybe i dont want to stop, yes ill admit it has ruined my life but at the same time it has helped me stay alive (hope that makes sense) i need to cut to help me but i know that if i cut ill end up at square 1 again and i dont want it like it used to be but if i cut i wont b able to control it like i cud b4
