I'll use the FA team for an example. When we notice someone on the forums we think would be good for the FA team, but doesn't actually meet the criteria we PM them, talk to them for a bit, find out if they might be interested in the team, and if they think they might be we give them some general guidelines as to what we look for in a FAA. (medical training, active on the forums, supportive/helpful, not in trouble with the mods etc).
Erin pointed out that telling people what criteria are looked for in mods may encourage people to act like that just to become a mod. I'm not suggesting giving people a list, but some general advice.
What I'm thinking is that we know male staff are hard to come by. Knowing this all the staff teams could be on the look out for males who have potential but aren't meeting the criteria yet. When those guys have been identified they could be PMd saying "we like what we see you doing around RYL, here are some suggestions" and let the person take it from there. No promise of a staff position, and it's up to the person to take the suggestions, but the help could increase the potential pool of male staff applications. (And I mean on all teams, not just the mods).
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I'll use the FA team for an example. When we notice someone on the forums we think would be good for the FA team, but doesn't actually meet the criteria we PM them, talk to them for a bit, find out if they might be interested in the team, and if they think they might be we give them some general guidelines as to what we look for in a FAA. (medical training, active on the forums, supportive/helpful, not in trouble with the mods etc).
Erin pointed out that telling people what criteria are looked for in mods may encourage people to act like that just to become a mod. I'm not suggesting giving people a list, but some general advice.
What I'm thinking is that we know male staff are hard to come by. Knowing this all the staff teams could be on the look out for males who have potential but aren't meeting the criteria yet. When those guys have been identified they could be PMd saying "we like what we see you doing around RYL, here are some suggestions" and let the person take it from there. No promise of a staff position, and it's up to the person to take the suggestions, but the help could increase the potential pool of male staff applications. (And I mean on all teams, not just the mods).
That sounds pretty good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crysainta
Jess, unless it came to an amicable end, it has always been ugly when a mod had their powers taken away.
Ahh. well then.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I would hope the mods feel comfortable modding. Just because we aren't really part of the administration of the site doesn't mean our process isn't useful to the mods either.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Why not give suggestions first before pretty much saying RYL is discriminating against the male population!
I mean, how do you get male members onto the site? Just trail around the internet until you find men with MH problems or SI problems?
Understandably i feel a male thread would help, my only concern with that is that unless it's made aware of, male members aren't going to know about it. Maybe possibly put it into the welcome email? OR on the frontpage? I've also noticed on the Introduction thread Monsoon and other members tend to give links about how to get around RYL, maybe these people if they're willing to will put a link forward when male members join..?!
I've never noticed that male members are made to feel unwelcome. Infact i'd say it was the complete opposite. A lot of the girls on here seem to swarm to the small male population, giving them a lot of attention and support (this being from what i've seen on threads being made by male members and posts being made in general chat) - how else would you like male members to be made welcome? Serious question.
From what i've seen men are treated just as equally as women. It's just because of the small male population that psychologically men are feeling swarmed and left out.
RYL don't care whether you're male or female, they will always make you feel as welcome as possible - but the male population have to make themselves known rather than hiding in the background, we can't force people to talk - women have this problem also, of joining RYL and becoming inactive as they sometimes find RYL quite daunting, i know i did when i first joined.
So, if you give the suggestions to the CT, or on here, maybe the moderators will start discussing (if they haven't already) how to deal with these concerns.
I just feel this is now an attack on the moderators for not "bothering" to give modly duties to the male population and if it isn't careful this is just going to go dangerously downhill and turn into a flame war and the thread will be locked. Then you won't have anywhere to discuss such matters.
Why not give suggestions first before pretty much saying RYL is discriminating against the male population!
I mean, how do you get male members onto the site? Just trail around the internet until you find men with MH problems or SI problems?
Understandably i feel a male thread would help, my only concern with that is that unless it's made aware of, male members aren't going to know about it. Maybe possibly put it into the welcome email? OR on the frontpage? I've also noticed on the Introduction thread Monsoon and other members tend to give links about how to get around RYL, maybe these people if they're willing to will put a link forward when male members join..?!
I've never noticed that male members are made to feel unwelcome. Infact i'd say it was the complete opposite. A lot of the girls on here seem to swarm to the small male population, giving them a lot of attention and support (this being from what i've seen on threads being made by male members and posts being made in general chat) - how else would you like male members to be made welcome? Serious question.
From what i've seen men are treated just as equally as women. It's just because of the small male population that psychologically men are feeling swarmed and left out.
RYL don't care whether you're male or female, they will always make you feel as welcome as possible - but the male population have to make themselves known rather than hiding in the background, we can't force people to talk - women have this problem also, of joining RYL and becoming inactive as they sometimes find RYL quite daunting, i know i did when i first joined.
So, if you give the suggestions to the CT, or on here, maybe the moderators will start discussing (if they haven't already) how to deal with these concerns.
I just feel this is now an attack on the moderators for not "bothering" to give modly duties to the male population and if it isn't careful this is just going to go dangerously downhill and turn into a flame war and the thread will be locked. Then you won't have anywhere to discuss such matters.
Read the thread first. Suggestions have come up about the CT. Also, this THREAD was made by a male. NOT a female. No one was attacking or flaming anyone until you came in and said it was O.o. The thread was fine, with all the mods posting in it, if it hadn't been, i'm pretty sure they would have said something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ninja duck
owe currently have one male on staff postion, mike is a male.
We're talkigna buot forum mods mostly. But it was pointed out in the beginning that there is one male chat mod.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I don't think any female can accurately say how the males of RYL are feeling. The fact is they have stated they feel left out, neglected, dominated, uncomfortable, and one male member said they feel as if "you are not alone" doesn't exist if you are male on RYL.
Whether or not we (females) see them treated that way, that is how they are feeling, and that is what matters.
I feel as if people have been offering suggestions and this was in no way shape or form intended as an attack on the mods.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Understandably i feel a male thread would help, my only concern with that is that unless it's made aware of, male members aren't going to know about it. Maybe possibly put it into the welcome email? OR on the frontpage? I've also noticed on the Introduction thread Monsoon and other members tend to give links about how to get around RYL, maybe these people if they're willing to will put a link forward when male members join..?!
I
I think that's a good idea! Having it linked to in introductions. I've seen Monsoon do that a lot, and think it's a great idea when relevant threads/ forums come to mind reading an introduction.
Maybe even send an "invitation" PM out to existing male members (and have people pass it around so word gets out...). I don't know how well that could work though, I guess it depends on the ability to know/ contact the existing male members so no one feels left out. And I don't know how hard it is to do that.
Males (or anyone I suppose) that want to, could also link to it in their signature, like lots of people do to stuff like the supporters, live help, first aid, etc...
I had another idea but I can't remember it....
I think that the best way is to encourage more males to be active in RYL, and hopefully that would lead to more male staff members in the future.
Thank you for all of your help and support. I will no longer be coming to RYL. Semi-explanation will be inside my profile.
I definitely don't think Duffer was trying to attack anyone. He's not that kind of person, from everything I've ever seen of him. I think this conversation just got turned around a bit and became more heated than it was intended to be.
Just to let you guys know, the CT is currently working on a list of threads that new members may find beneficial, the list will include the male thread once it's posted, and it's likely this list will be stickied in Introductions and/or put on a list on the main site.
Also, saying we are making a mountain out of a mole hill is asinine. Some of the males of RYL already feel as if we don't care about them and their opinions, and saying we are making a big deal out of nothing just invalidates their feelings even more.
Last edited by Aidee : 14-05-2009 at 03:57 AM.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I definitely don't think Duffer was trying to attack anyone. He's not that kind of person, from everything I've ever seen of him. I think this conversation just got turned around a bit and became more heated than it was intended to be.
He's definitely not that sort of person *nods*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Just to let you guys know, the CT is currently working on a list of threads that new members may find beneficial, the list will include the male thread once it's posted, and it's likely this list will be stickied in Introductions and/or put on a list on the main site.
Oooooh cool! I like being nosy and finding out about things before they happen
Thank you for all of your help and support. I will no longer be coming to RYL. Semi-explanation will be inside my profile.
I am the only male Team Leader in the CT so i guess am "staff" we were on the staff listings for about 24 hours before aimee took us off
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirrelspit
thats asuming male members WANT to be staff.
thats kinda sexist
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
lol, it was an idea that was presented in the 'Thread for males' thread, so it's not exactaly a secret
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
For the record, I worked site a year as News Editor and had fun with it - then it got old. I had chance to mod and said no. Its good experience for young kids but realistically I don't know why anyone would want to do it - especially and adult with other things to do (like me).
I don't think guys feel "intimidated" here at all with regard to female population. Many of them are very friendly, good looking and charming as hell. I have to dig back in my mind to recall any real beetches (and we had some).
More distinctly, RYL turned overwhelmingly more toward comfort and protection at one point. Reading the rules here makes it sound like an "excuse me" rendered in the wrong tone might get a person points. The whole thing seems bubble wrapped to an extreme. There are threads now many pages long about what to say or not say in ED section. if I didnt' belong here years before all this I doubt I would have joined just looking around. RYL also took wide turn into alternative lifestyle themes and social aspects of such and veered away from central SI focus.
While this was all going on, Harley left pretty much and his vision and approach were replaced. Harley wasn't repulsed by anything "hardcore" or eccentric but he wasn't gratuitous either and he a sought balance between condoning and rejecting things. He took the small space between what was acceptable and what wasn't and he made it as wide as an ocean Eventually he made it too wide so balance was lost but hey that happens when your 23.
Right now I don't think a "guy thread" would mean anything. Real guy mods
in the present environment wouldn't mean anything either. The paradigm shift that took place a couple years ago can't be addressed via superificial measures. Without Harley driving RYL his way it will stay kitties and rainbows and "what did you eat today?" etc. and guys wount be interested. From my point of view that's not lamentable for the guys but for the girls since Ruin and RYL V2 had a great dynamic between the two. We lost center on that, but doing so also kept things nicer since some of the guys were maniacs and RYL messed up on handling them.
Since most SI peepers are women its not a regret at all most members are women (especially with ED forum) . I do think however that the space bewteen condoning and rejecting things is a place where all people can step outside themselves and the humanity of each gets to shine. Both male and female benefits from that. As it has been, RYL defo condones and rejects things more than it used to and it has prejudices from above - and the demographic swing is related to that.
I am the only male Team Leader in the CT so i guess am "staff" we were on the staff listings for about 24 hours before aimee took us off
thats kinda sexist
I dont understand how charlie was being sexist?! And why are we talking about the forum mods specifically, why arent we talking about more male supporters (which surely would be a lot more beneficial, if boys would prefer a reply from other males) Yes it would be nice to have a male forum mod and when we see a good candidate, Im sure theyll be chosen, but I would never be happy working on a team with someone there just to fill the gap to make sure we dont look like we only let girls in.
If thats the way the team is chosen, then I know its not just me that wouldnt be a mod anymore.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Liv, I mentioned all the staff teams not just the mods.
I don't think anyone is saying to mod some guy just because he is male. I think the primary sentiment here is that maybe there are some things that can be done as a community to increase the number of potential male applicants and it would be nice if the mods would help with that.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Im not just refering to you aidey, Im talking generally.
I already said 2 pages back that we need more males so that we have more candidates, im sure all of us would be willing to help,but what can we do.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Make adding males and official goal, and make that goal known. The staff don't even have to publicize what the criteria are.
Aggressively seek and cultivate males for potential staff roles. (ie affirmative action basically)
Help make males feel welcome at RYL (for all of us, not just the staff)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Aidey~
I'll use the FA team for an example. When we notice someone on the forums we think would be good for the FA team, but doesn't actually meet the criteria we PM them, talk to them for a bit, find out if they might be interested in the team, and if they think they might be we give them some general guidelines as to what we look for in a FAA. (medical training, active on the forums, supportive/helpful, not in trouble with the mods etc).
Erin pointed out that telling people what criteria are looked for in mods may encourage people to act like that just to become a mod. I'm not suggesting giving people a list, but some general advice.
What I'm thinking is that we know male staff are hard to come by. Knowing this all the staff teams could be on the look out for males who have potential but aren't meeting the criteria yet. When those guys have been identified they could be PMd saying "we like what we see you doing around RYL, here are some suggestions" and let the person take it from there. No promise of a staff position, and it's up to the person to take the suggestions, but the help could increase the potential pool of male staff applications. (And I mean on all teams, not just the mods).
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
