Triggering (SI) - SI becoming college 'trend' >.<

TinkerDebs · 08-05-2009, 09:01 PM

So lately it's become apparent to me and some friends that A LOT of people have begun to 'SI' as they would say and it's becoming increasingly annoying
The group of which me and my friends are in - is of a reasonable size now and we are just a 'group' we are not everyones best friends - we're several friendship circles that overlap and share a space (thats the best way to put it)
everyone there is a little 'different' but it's just how it is
theres was always a few self harmers there - and a few more appeared back in september but now it's become a 'TREND' to 'self harm'
the annoying part about it is that the people doing this are pretty sound and stable people just having like a bad week and such - and so they typically pick or scracth at their arm - then go very pelodramatic about it and make it a very public deal that they have done this - such behavious has occured before and pasted but now there are many people at it
and they seem to be 'competing' about it and about how 'depressed' they are how many 'counsellors etc they seen'
it's just so rediculous and can at times be triggering and they seem to disreguard that - and ignore that there are people there who self harm more extensively - and it doesnt help them
it's just getting a little tedious now and really annoying - also some of them do these things in public which just isn't right
and sometimes it's the last thing you need to encounter - especially when you're having your own crisis (generally leaning on the not wanting to live side of things) and they're trying to make a big deal out of a very minor situation - you just think AGHHHH
sorry i've had this rant with my counsellor but all she could say was 'should i be worriesd then?'

was wondering what you all think
sorry for the length

xXdrunk on shadowsXx · 08-05-2009, 10:48 PM

*hugs you* pisses me off too (to everyone else - we're in the same group :P)
maybe we can yell at them next week Debs?
any advice would be good though

Pomegranate · 08-05-2009, 10:59 PM

I understand why it might be irritating and triggering but to be honest I think you are being a little judgemental. These people are obviously going through something and have some issues if they feel they need to self harm and do what you say they are doing. Maybe they don't harm 'extensively' like you say but how do you know that if they do not get the support they need now that it will not grow into something more?? How would you define 'entensive' self harm? There are people who never self harm more severely than scratching even after 20 years of it. Conversely, there are people who are cutting to the point of needing stitches after a few weeks? How do you know that they have no real reason to be harming themselves? Many people go years before ever telling anyone the truth about their emotions and for some self harm is the only way they can display the fact that they are hurting.

You are their friends, surely you should be supporting them? Even if you do not agree with their attitudes towards self harm at least try to consider the fact they may actually be going through something that they need help and support with.

Katiee · 08-05-2009, 11:26 PM

I don't know what to say, sweet. Though I can understand how annoying that must be. *hugs* xo.

TinkerDebs · 09-05-2009, 03:06 PM

tbh dont need to talk to them about whats wrogn - because they will talk to ANYBODY who will listen to them - but then if you listen the trend seems to go that they then get really angry - and yesterday me and my friend (xXxdrunk on shadowsxXx) were talking to one of them and he was explaining and then he just flipped out on us saying it was none of our business and that and he had the grumps and sulks around - he makes it EXTREMELY hard to talk with him
(but he's just one of many)

Lou Lou · 09-05-2009, 05:28 PM

I had a friend who was exactly like this. It was very hard for me to deal with when I had really been having a hard time with SI.

The simple fact is, though, that anyone who deliberately harms themselves is clearly having some issues. Whether they do it to cope, for the rush or for attention, it's a pretty extreme action to take.

It is annoying when it becomes a trend, but I think really people just experiment with it. I mean I don't know one person who doesn't want to hit a wall or punch someone when they get upset or angry...it's not unusual for any person to turn that aggression inward in times of stress or upset.
Most move away from it quite quickly, but others don't.

If you really can't talk to them or if they don't particularly want to accept your help then there is very little you can do. Walk away, keep an eye on them, give them some information and hope for the best. I guess it depends on the person

ksdfjhlksajf · 09-05-2009, 06:59 PM

I can see where it would be irritating, but people that self-harm have issues--even if they don't feel comfortable sharing them. You can't judge how serious it is by the wounds--not at all. As for how they're acting--it could always be something to hide behind. Just... you can't judge people unless you know their problems. All you can do is point them in the direction of help

eyes.wide.open · 11-05-2009, 05:16 AM

Sorry your going through that
Its a difficult situation because it can be triggering for you.
They obviously have some issues, if they are SERIOUSLY selfharming or if its just "part of the trend" either way, theres an issue there if there doing it, whatever it is. It may not be the same reason as you, but maybe its because of low self esteem and needing to "fit in" or it could be something no one knows about and this is the way they are dealing with it because its something that they have now become aware of. we cant judge them, if we dont know whats going on, especially if they wont talk about it. that makes it really hard
im sorry about this situation, if i was in it, i would be really frusterated and annoyed. and probably really triggered. especially if they talk about it alot.
i guess the only thing you can do is ask them to get help because you never really know whats going on.
that sucks though
i hope your ok
xo

TinkerDebs · 11-05-2009, 07:24 PM

thanks for the reply
it's not so bad at the moment we have an ofsted inspection at college and so we cant use our space for h'ealth and safety' [urposes - so thwe group has broken into the small friendship circles - for now me and my friends have detached from everyone else to take ourselves away from it

whatever is going on with everyone else is werid and we're away from it all for a week - some of them 'get help' in terms of seeing the counselling (but they seem to have told everyone that they see the counsellor which is bizarre :S but we're detached for a while so i guess it's a good oppotunity for a nice break)