I think that often being able to demonstrate to others how much pain one is in is often the very first step in recovery. Accepting help, following advice, doing research etc tend to come later.
For many the sense of self-loathing is so deep that doing something as simple as engaging in basic self-care is impossible, but they can still get emotional support purely by posting on a public forum.
This is where im at and agree with what Morrigan says
Just to clarify, I actually agree with you both. I think that purely emotional support is fantastic. It's when you're ready to move on from that, people get stuck in a cycle of expecting other people to lead them and they don't take those next steps themselves.
I lol'd when someone said that people should only post for support - this INCLUDES ANSWERS PEOPLE! Lol. It doesn't matter what board it's on, part of support is answers!! >.<
&& I love you Aimee.
&& I agree with everything Liv & optic hush (sorry - don't know your name) have said.
But Jess even that doesn't make sense. Upon that decision support = yes, answers = no. Why have a first aid board? Why ever post questions? If you're not getting or not ready for professional support then how can you ask others for help?
There's a time and a place to learn to care for yourself and you have to be ready for that. There's another harsh reality, you can't flick the switch and suddenly go "oh yeah it's all in my control i'm going to get super better now". I spent five years in depression before I could even fathom that, and mostly I did that after a major suicide attempt. Not some post on a website.
In fact I think this is where this posts grates me so much. I know that we cannot help people until they want to help themselves. But we be here to support them and this post just seems to imply otherwise.
I agree with this, and couldn't have said it better myself.
But Jess even that doesn't make sense. Upon that decision support = yes, answers = no. Why have a first aid board? Why ever post questions? If you're not getting or not ready for professional support then how can you ask others for help?
There's a time and a place to learn to care for yourself and you have to be ready for that. There's another harsh reality, you can't flick the switch and suddenly go "oh yeah it's all in my control i'm going to get super better now". I spent five years in depression before I could even fathom that, and mostly I did that after a major suicide attempt. Not some post on a website.
In fact I think this is where this posts grates me so much. I know that we cannot help people until they want to help themselves. But we be here to support them and this post just seems to imply otherwise.
Answers and support are two completely different things. I don't understand how people struggle to comprehend that? If you're struggling and need to talk about what you're going through, that's one thing. If you're posting asking why you're feeling like that, why is it fair, etc. - that's something completely different. And something that RYL can't answer.
But what Rob said. He verbalises things very well.
Liv :)
I know. And I don't think that Aidey meant replace a support post with google - despite the functions that google has.
Only that RYL has limits. It can only do so much, and I personally feel that a lot of people expect too much from RYL, only to end up disappointed when it doesn't happen.
I didn't read this post as RYL vs. Google. I read it as RYL vs. A lot of other sources, including google, including professional help, including friends and family, including A&E if it's necessary. Getting help, trying to get answers, rather than simply expecting to get support.
Answers and support are two completely different things. I don't understand how people struggle to comprehend that? If you're struggling and need to talk about what you're going through, that's one thing. If you're posting asking why you're feeling like that, why is it fair, etc. - that's something completely different. And something that RYL can't answer.
That's what I was trying to get at earlier. But, as always, you've worded it much better than I can. Thank you. <3
'And it isn't just about site type questions, it's about all questions, but I was using site questions as examples because they illustrate much more clearly what I am talking about.
What I'm talking about applies from everything from site questions to life questions. At this point, I'm actually more concerned than anything. If people aren't willing to do anything (or much) to help themselves here, how are they going to make it in the "real world'?'
this here makes it seem lyk her opinion is that questions, which are attempts at support really, are invalid. this is inappropriate & goes against everything RYL, which is a support site, stands for.
hence why it should be removed, why is it still here..
i'm a tool & i don't know how to quote properly i know..
Answers and support are two completely different things. I don't understand how people struggle to comprehend that? If you're struggling and need to talk about what you're going through, that's one thing. If you're posting asking why you're feeling like that, why is it fair, etc. - that's something completely different. And something that RYL can't answer.
Okay, I do understand and comprehend what you are saying, I just have a different view.
I do, however think that by giving people support they can begin to point the person in need in the right direction of the answers. If someone is asking why they feel like they do, then clearly they need both answers and support. I think a great number of times when people post clearly unanswerable questions they are just scared to out and out ask for support, so they disguise it in a question. If this irritates people, then I'm sorry, but I don't think people should be chastised for doing this.
So that probably makes no sense. Basically, people aren't stupid, they know that they won't get answers, and a lot of the time people know that they need help and support outside of RYL, but for many such support can prove inaccessible, so why stop them from doing something, just because it gets on your nerves? Like I say, in looking for answers people need support, and in getting support people often find, for themselves the answers they need.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
I mainly agree with Aidey and the Original Post was actually true.
People perceive things differently.
Yes this site does help but sometimes people do write the same things and such, and there are guides for some of the answers. It doesn't take to long to look at the articles that can help.
Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.
So, when you've cut too deep for the first time and you're so scared you don't know what to do, you now have to trawl through a guide with no human emotion?
As most of the people have said. Were not saying DON'T post on the forums. Were saying there are articles to help with exact issues, like if someone has cut themselves for the first time deeply. They're likely to get an answer quicker using a guide as not everyone is on here at all hours.
Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.
