Aidey is not saying don't ask for help in the forums. She is saying that there are other resources out there. RYL is just one thing that can support and help someone. It won't help an individual recover from SI or an ED without them participating in their own recovery!
I can say things helpful. When someone comes into chat with a wound and needs help, I can tell and repeat to them things that are in ryl first aid articles, but I can't bandage the wound for them. We can suggest they distract themselves and calm them down so they can look up the distractions, but if they won't try, what is the point?
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
It's not that I'm sick of repeating myself, or sick of seeing other people repeat themselves. I'm truly concerned by the fact that people don't seem to be doing much work to find out the information they seek. So many people seem like they are.....helpless, basically. I don't want people to be helpless, I want them to be able to help themselves if they need to.
i think that, if you are truely concerned, you should delete this post, as it is seriously misleading (and i don't think you've got your head round that yet), and get someone with a bit more resources and wisdom behind them to write something of use and encouragement, rather than a push down.
i think that, if you are truely concerned, you should delete this post, as it is seriously misleading (and i don't think you've got your head round that yet), and get someone with a bit more resources and wisdom behind them to write something of use and encouragement, rather than a push down.
How is it a push down? and how are you not being horrible and rude yourself by basically saying Aidey is stupid and ignorant and can't write for ****? You've obviously misunderstood and don't seem to have read what anyone else has written in response to this except maybe the negative ones.
I really don't understand how people are seeing this as a patronizing thing, it's actually been said before... and the same people are arguing. It's like people have seen this as a "lets jump on the bash aidey bandwagon".
I agree with what Josh and Zeitgeist have said.
Also, there is only a minority complaining about this. Others have agreed with parts of it but not others, which is fine! No one is saying "oh you're all stupid for not knowing that those posts are there". It's to bring attention to the fact that as much as it might suck, we can't fix you. We can support you and stuff, but you have to be proactive in that too. I don't know if others hve noticed but you see the same people posting and the same thing being asked and the same thing being said and you notice as it continues, that people reply less and less... And apart from seeing people being directed to the first aid guide thing, i've never seen people being directed to articles on the main site.... I wasn't actually aware that they were there for a long time until someone pm'd me bout them...
Again, if only one person realises that there are other avenues as well as general support from the forums, this makes everything worth it.
Again, if you don't like it, ignore it.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
i'm not jumping on any bandwagon. i have the right to say, think, do anything i so please.
if you don't understand that it's patronising, or a push down, this clearly has nothing to do with you.
i think i'll keep 'arguing' on this thread until it's moved or deleted.
Since the only way people have really een able to complain is by saying this thread is patronising and they don't like it.... i can't see why it's going to be removed just becasue you argue on it? If you hate the thread so much, stick it on ignore. Then it wont offend you.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I think the point is that this isn't aimed at everybody. If you read it, find it patronising or that you already know this stuff, chances are it's not aimed at you.
There are some people that I'm sure will find this thread if not helpful, informative. And as Jess said, if it helps at least one person to find support, well then what's the matter?
it has nothing to do with wheither or not it's offensive blah blah.
i think it has more to do with the fact that people come to RYL for support. this is a support site. and the fact that there is a thread in general chat, posted by someone of 'authority', that says that this isn't a place where people can freely express their problems. it is inappropriate.
As someone who spent "hundreds possibly thousands" of hours writing, organising and setting up the main site, it doesn't concern me one bit if people are ask questions that could be answered by the main site. Here's why:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Something Vague
oh dear, you are really good at patronising people and pissing them off aren't you?
your whole post comes across patronising and holier than thou. i totally understand that there are times where people post questions that articles would answer just as well as posts, but that isn't the point. most of the time people will know the answers to their questions anyway.
people make threads to get a human being giving them attention most of the time. it might be just to know someone has read/cares, or it might be to get personal opinion or experiences. if they genuinely did just want answers, they'd use GOOGLE, which may lead them to the resources on the main site..
i for one am totally aware of all the other stuff on this site other than the forums but it doesnt appeal to me. the links and stickies and articles on the main site are of no interest. and i'm sure that's the case with a lot of people on here.
so yeah. your patronising rant is just that, patronising and does not belong here. it doesn't really belong anywhere. it seems like you're obviously frustrated with your position in first aid which is fair enough, but that doesn't give you any right to post what you have.. and i still fail to understand the secret.
i'm quite shocked how few people have taken offence to your post.
Instead of making a thread that is basically telling people off, why not just politely suggest, and endorse using the main site, suggest it in replies, etc? Because I learned nothing from this, originally I just pushed back in my browser.
But where does it say that? Where does it say "you can't post here" where?! All the post is saying is that there is other information out there! That you need to work for yourself as well as getting support. It's goingto be hard and it's going to suck, but it's something you will need to do. If you're postig the same thing all the time and getting the same answers and either those aren't the answers for you, or you just don't want to try, maybe you need to look at other stuff as well!
It doesn't say anywhere that people can't post.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
No, but I'd be horribly intimidated to post now after reading that.
I mean, this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aidey
Why should we spend our valuable time responding to your thread when the question you asked could have been answered if you had spent 5 minutes looking in the articles on the main site?
is not inviting.
& telling me posting is the easy way out: also uninviting & unnecessary.
If you don't want to waste your valuable time replying to posts - then don't. But don't criticise those who may want to have more advice than what is online.
i think it has more to do with the fact that people come to RYL for support. this is a support site. and the fact that there is a thread in general chat, posted by someone of 'authority', that says that this isn't a place where people can freely express their problems. it is inappropriate.
That's a ridiculous "interpretation" of what Aidey said.
I think that she means, when what you've posted is the same thing you've posted a hundred other times (which isn't much of an exageration in some cases) and that person is still saying the same thing or asking the same question. Or in the fa board instances, when you say "i knw i need stitches but i'm gonna get in trouble" it's like... what do you expect people to say!
It's like the whole "cutting is okay" thing that we spoke about awhile ago. People were saying "but this is a self harm support site, now i feel like i can't talk about cutting" and that wasn't what we meant at all. We just wanted people to realise that there is other stuff out there, and cutting is not okay, no matter which way you look at it.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
