I know how you feel. I feel like I'm getting 100 times worse every day. But it gets worse before it gets better... Right? Drink lots of water sweetie and hang on in there. Thinking of you xxx
She's ringing me tomorrow to dicuss things :( meh. Shouldn't have got her involved in the first place. But we'll see what happenes. *snuggles for you Sorry it's all I can give right now :(
*hugs Everyone*
I thought I would just check in for a While if thats ok, Because Iam feeling so unsafe right now and Iam really scared of what I will do to myself.
Curls up under duvet.
Puts a large box of calorie free chocolates in the middle of the room. for everyone to share.
*hugs Bambi* if you ever want to talk, we're here to listen
*hugs Helen* you feeling any better today?
*hugs Hannah* hope you don't feel so bad today
*hugs Kat* hang in there :)
*hugs everyone else* hope you all have a good friday, I know it sometimes seems the toughest day for some of you so just offering some extra comforting hugs.
I'm not sure what I'm feeling today. am slightly concerned about this evening, could go either way, will I make 4 weeks or will I give in?
"I am me and me is good enough if I would only be it openly"
I've been sleeping sooo much the last couple days.
It's weird and out of pattern for me.
Usually I get between 3 and 6 hours of sleep a night and work just fine, but I've been sleeping 8 hours a night (like I'm supposed to) and I'm even more tired! It is the weirdest thing.
I had a meeting with my youth worker today. We talked about Brittany mostly, and a bit about Chase, and I wanted to tell her how suicidal I've been feeling, but I didn't have the courage.
I've got a lot of stuff coming up and I'm super stressed.
I've got my performance at Ladies Night on the 30th of April.
Then, starting off May, I have my Beltane ceremony to do (because I've been slacking).
Anything Goes starts on the 6th, running til the 10th.
Then I have the show case on the 11th.
The 17th is Mom's birthday.
Then I have provincials between the 24th and the 28th.
Then June's coming round the corner, and we're going to see Rent on the 20th.
Somewhere between May and June I have to start my grade 11 math (so that I have more than the two months of summer to finish it).
Plus I have to keep my grades up (and bring some of them up...)
And I have to finish my cover letter and get a job for this summer...
GAH!
Stress!!!!!!
That's not even bringing in the factors like, my brother going to the mental hospital in 3 - 6 weeks, or the fact that Brittany is absorbing every extra ounce of energy I have, and I can't get the next chapter of my story written out because I have no material for the scene that I need to do.
I am losing my mind......
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark,
lay right down,
decide not to go on.
Plumeria Sister
Firstly let me apologise for not giving individual replies ... too many posts ... not enough concentration.
Secondly : update on me : am going in for a CT scan of my brain on Monday as there may be bruising and have had one of my meds reduced to see if that helps with things. Feeling a little more confident up until tonight when my housemate was watching a tv show that talked about SA.
Other than that *hugs to all*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Big hugs to everyone, and relaxing cuddles for Ashley, sounds very stressful sweetie.
Just checking in to share my news: I got a diagnosis today from the psych... Apparently I am paranoid schizophrenic. Not sure how I feel about that but there we go.
Thanks Banana. (If you don't mind me asking, what is your name, so that I can attempt to remember it and call you by it.) *hugs* Hope YOU're okay, especially with your diagnosis. That's some heavy stuff.
Amanda and Courtney's birthday thing tomorrow...
I don't have anything for either of them.
I'll probably make them some lousy cards and give them $20 each because I don't think I'll have time to figure something out for them....
I feel really cheap for that... but I just have no idea what to get them or where I would get it even if I did.
I slept through the NDP thing today... feel kinda bad about it, 'cause I know that it means a lot to Gran.
But on the plus side, Riley helped me figure out my next story chapter! Yay! I will actually be able to continue now!!!!!!
Haha, I feel like such a loser for being so excited about fan fiction, but hey, I think I'm damn good at writing it so *shrug*.
Uhm... yea... I think I'mma go and write that chapter now, because I have nothing better to do with my life and I'm not sleeping right now anyway.
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark,
lay right down,
decide not to go on.
Plumeria Sister
That's great news that you have got the next chapter Enjoy writing it! Don't be too hard on yourself for missing things and stuff. You're doing well keeping up with everything. And to be honest I'd be pretty pleased with $20 hehe!
My name is Hannah. Hannah Banana... Yeah it does seem a bit serious, I guess that's what's freaking me out about it. I had expected it, but then seeing people's reactions scared me a bit. Ah well. At least I know what's going on in my head now.
Yea, well, they seemed to like the cards anyway, so that's good, because it took me forever to find the right quotes for them.
I can't imagine what it must be like to see the reactions you're getting from people, but self awareness is comfort in itself, I find. And now that you know what's going on you can find some coping mechanisms.
*offers cuddles to MammaMia* What's wrong?
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark,
lay right down,
decide not to go on.
Plumeria Sister
*hugs Helen*
*waves at Hannah & Ashley* ~ don't let diagnosis scare you. I'm personally schizo-affective bipolar type which means I have both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. It's just a label.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Enjoy writing it! Don't be too hard on yourself for missing things and stuff. You're doing well keeping up with everything. And to be honest I'd be pretty pleased with $20 hehe!