Not only having to go through all this, but having side effects off meds such as:
constant sedation, uncontrollable movements of my tongue and eyes and it hurts, shaking and moving that i cant stop, lactating, really blurry vision. fun.
Steel: I'm sorry you had to go through all that *hugs*
Thanks so much; I'm trying to get over these things, but the flashbacks are bad and I know its bound to happen all again. I just can't keep my mental health from deteriorating a few times a year.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
The Voices making me hurt myself and do crazy stuff like drink a whole bottle of vodka in a short time or do stupid things in chemistry.
Last edited by Steel Maiden : 13-04-2009 at 07:34 PM.
Reason: could be tipsharing so I edited.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I agree with the watching thing, its absolutely dehumanizing. To be in a hospital to be helped and to wake up with people staring at you or having to use the bathroom with people staring at you or showering, I realize that you guys have pointed this out, but I feel so strongly opposed to this. Its like you're some kind of freak show. And there was one time that I was put on watch and they had a shift change and the nurse that was assigned to me was going off about having to do it, and I could see and hear everything she said. She was all "why do I have to watch that one?? that one bit steve, can't you get someone else to do it?"
being referred to as that one was just.. I don't know. I honestly think the whole process is just dehumanizing. Yeah we might be f***ed in the head but we are human beings. .. . ..
<-hates being hospitalized
Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
being referred to as that one was just.. I don't know. I honestly think the whole process is just dehumanizing. Yeah we might be f***ed in the head but we are human beings. .. . ..
<-hates being hospitalized
*hugs*
I used to be referred to as "that" and "it" all the time, as if I don't have a name or pronouns
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead
~watching your self mucking up your GCSE's ~Looking in the mirror and relising what a mess you are this is what i hate about my mental health illness i know where im going wrong- but i cant do any thing about in any more
I think the hardest thing for me is admitting there is something wrong. Its easy to stay in denial and pretend everything is ok. I'm also not the type who likes to ask for help. I prefer working things out for myself. I think that has also worked as a positive as it makes me determined to live a fulfilling and stable life. I think mental illness makes life more of a challenge but with all challenges you gain strength.
Feeling so misunderstood, alone, hurt, confused, mixed up, messed up.
Not being able to control yourself, or your feelings, or sometimes, even your thoughts.
I'm short on energy, but there are so many sucky things about my disorders, and I'm sure others.
Depression is a very lonely place
makes u feel like a waste of space
do we like to feel this way
no we don't, we want it to go away
from all the help i have seeked
i still feel like a freak
u begin to wonder, why do i go on
the truth is euthinasia is illegal
People not letting you forget your past and always dragging up those times your tried to kill yourself when all you want to do is forget them and move on!
The fact that I have those kinds of parents who "don't believe in mental illness" so I don't get any credit when I've been putting alot of effort into recovery. Sometimes it takes all the courage and energy I have to complete goals that they deem to be a piece of piss, and even if I'm proud of myself for having reached some sort of milestone, they always manage to make me feel like I should have reached that milestone years ago like everyone else, *completely* failing to take into consideration that their lack of mental illness gave them a huge headstart.
your mind tricks you and you dont know whats real..
I second that.
And, my addition: It's extremely frustrating to be entirely unable to focus on anything. Your mind drifts off at work and you keep screwing up. You try to do homework, but after a few minutes, you don't even know what you're reading about. And forget about remembering that one fact you have a vague idea has something to do with the answer you're supposed to provide. So you decide to read a book and try again later, when you're in the mood. But, again, you re-read the same line for the tenth time and it still means nothing. So you end up starring at the ceiling all evening. And you know you have the intellectual capacities to do what you have to or want to do, but you are unable to use them.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Having no friends who understand your illness.
Not being able to sleep or sleeping far too much.
Being scared to sleep but being just as scared to stay awake.
Having it totally mess up school grades.
Not knowing the difference between whats real and whats not.
Feeling so much that you don't know what you are feeling.
Snapping at people.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
The intrusive, obsessive thoughts make you feel horrible... make you cry... can't control them... they won't go away... you scream back... saying that's wrong, trying to make it go away, trying to make it shut up, makes you think such horrible, nasty, gahh...
Sorry, currently having abit of an OCD crisis with just some horrible thoughts intruding my mind and just... can't stop it.
*Hugs Sarey* Anywhere you can go for help or support? Generally when I'm having a bad OCD day I try and focus on something, like lining up cutlery in groups or tidying my room. That way I can channel my obsessiveness into something while distracting from the intrusive thoughts. Hope that helps xx
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