Not being allowed even a couple of paracetamol when its needed, in case i have a stash of them. Hiding knifes, razors..
Telling me that I have to earn there trust but not giving me the chance to.
Everyone eventully gives up on you
Being picked up by the police
Being sectioned
The pain
Hearing and seeing things, and though people have seen you curled in a ball shaking and covering your ears, whispering to yourself to 'stop it', 'calm down' etc, still no one believes occasionally you cannot handle the voices/visions, or have them. I'm lucky in that they aren't too bad most of the time, but because of this poeple don't believe. So I don't say now.
Being ill is the only thing I have - thats pathetic
When being found blood all over the walls
The scars
The rejection
The loss
The lack of control that people say is just me 'needing to get a grip!'
People turn on you
Being watched all the time, emails getting check, phone been wired
People crossing the road to avoid you cause you have cuts all over your face and a hood up
You made up your mind to torture mine!
If you read a scar like a book, you will relise the story in which you over look
Hearing and seeing things, and though people have seen you curled in a ball shaking and covering your ears, whispering to yourself to 'stop it', 'calm down' etc, still no one believes occasionally you cannot handle the voices/visions, or have them. I'm lucky in that they aren't too bad most of the time, but because of this poeple don't believe. So I don't say now.
Being ill is the only thing I have - thats pathetic
The lack of control that people say is just me 'needing to get a grip!'
I'm really sorry to hear that
*hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Devil Girl
Being watched all the time, emails getting check, phone been wired
Seriously? They wire your phone and check your emails? I didn't know they did that because of mental illness
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead
Inside of me I hate feeling like this all the time and the frustration and hopelessness and misery is horrible. Plus the guilt all the time at nothing.
Outside of me I hate those pitying looks, endless appointments where I have to tell some stranger all of my most personal problems just for them to not understand and try and get rid of me.
Feeling like I'm a psycho and I'm trapped.
People's reactions - especially to things like hearing voices.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
people always being careful around you incase you go off on a 'mental episode' or something
being on medication, so my friends dont let me drink when im out with them. ¬_¬
ive noticed that teachers dont 'joke around' with me like they do with everyone else, probably scared id get offended or triggered. they all know about me obviously
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Being sat on. Seriously, I'm not a horse.
Searches, me, my bag, my room.
"We don't know what's wrong, try CBT again"
When the hallucinations collaborate with my repressed memories to return my past, but only the bad bits, slowly, when I least expect them.
My hopefully ex-psychiatrist, and his tension obsession. "Can you explain you're tension to me?"
What I think:Not really, however the crowd in my head think you're a crazy hippy.
What I say: I still don't understand, you confuse me, I'm too tired, did I tell you about..insert off-topic subject.
That I've been "In the system" since I was 11.
The way all my problems are because I was sexually abused, despite having the same problems prior the abuse, idiots!
And all the folders.
Two for Pine Lodge, one for my local hospital, one for the hospital near my college, Two for the local CAMHS service, one for the CAMHS attached to the other hospital, one for Crisis. And some of them are huge, but no one even reads enough to know why I'm talking to them.
Being told off, for doing things I did but have no memory of.
Last edited by Teddy.Lupin : 28-03-2009 at 06:26 AM.
The shattered illusions.
You think you can do things, you think you can cope, you think you can feel ok, you think this latest bid for recovery will work.... but the reality turns out to be so different.
The frustration.
When you find yourself floundering yet again. When you think you have aquired new powers and insight only to be stymied from a new angle.
The realisation that what you felt to be crazy, sexy, cool and uber-creative was just dull and very wonky.
So true. Although I really really hope I manage it this time!
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
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