ryl is a hell of a lot more leniant than other sites.big time.
but it doesnt need to be stricter.
because to be fair,most people know what 'adult' generally refers to and as oldER people say they know the 'facts of life' (insert disgusted look here)
Quote:
Adult labels aren't going to do much anyway. I mean, younger people are more likely to click them :p
true...if its a joke.
but if it refers to sexual activites or w/ever then i personally and know of other young-ISH members that don't...
I like the way you can talk about pretty much anything, cse then it feels less restricting. I don't think it should be made stricter because I think many of the younger people would not feel as comfortable. Oh and I'm 15 if you're wondering!
For age refrence: I'm almost 17 (birthday's on August 4th)
Besides being on RYL, I'm on Something Fishy's Remeber It Hurts forum (for eating disorders). They have a seperate subforum for relationship/sex related questions and topics - http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/f...splay.php?f=36 - , which I think RYL mods might want to take a look at and consider adding something similar to our forum list. (Maybe place it in the veteran's section?) From my experiance, it keeps said topics out of the general chats where young eyes could accidently end up on it/trigger someone but still allows members to discuss.
Yeah, RYL could probably do without the sex jokes, but from my experiance none of them have been too graphic and they've been well labled. HOWEVER I think it should be a zero tolerance policy on it - if it's graphic (think an R/NC-17 rating in the US), uses crude/slang/inappropriate terms, isn't placed in an appropriate spot (i.e serious discussion, ED support, abuse & bullying, any thread not already talking about the topic, etc.) or is not labled as ADULT it should be grounds for an account suspension. Harsh? Maybe, but it seems logical to me.
If I remember correctly, someone mentioned memebers calling each other "sexy". IMO, there's nothing wrong with the ego boost! Sometimes it's just the thing I need when I'm feeling down. BUT, if a member dosen't wish to be addressed as such, they have all the right in the world to ask everyone to respect that wish. Just put a little note or something when you post a picture. ^^
i've just skimmed through replies.
#1: i don't think anything needs to be changed. there are labels. nothing is graphic.
when i joined ryl i was 14/15. &i know there are members younger than that but i never once felt uncomfortable with the sexual content on ryl.
#2: i can understand how hijacking threads can be annoying. i know i've done it more than once, but i only do it if the op is a friend. &therefore, i know they won't care.
theres probably other things i should of commented on too. but i've forgotton now >_<.
I just want to thank everyone for their opinions so far, and remind people that you can send your opinion to me viaPrivate Message if you feel more comfortable that way.
One thing that Harley and the moderators struggle with, is creating a RYL that makes everyone (or the majority of people) happy.
While there are some things that Harley wont compromise on (no matter what members may think or want) because it leads RYL astray from what his vision for this website is .... but there are alot of issues that Harley is open to hearing what members think and want, and in creating anRYL community that gives them support, encouragement, fun, a sense of belonging ... and is a place that they are proud to be a part of.
One of the reasons why I posted this thread in the first place, is that I wanted to know what members really thought of the sorts of sexually themed threads / posts / jokes / conversations that have been popping up on RYL lately ... do you think it is too much? .. and..how does this compare to other websites you've been too?.... and What do you WANT in a website that you're a member of?
If we felt that the majority of members wanted the mods to be alot STRICTERin cracking down on these sorts of 'sex-talks', then that is something we could EASILY fix! But the reason we HAVENT done this, is because other members have found that RYL is already TOO RESTRICTIVE and they find it very annoying to have the mods interfering with their fun and what they want to post.
So this is one way I thought I could gain an idea on what members think about the sex / adult / nudity jokes and posts that have popped up at RYL ... and I think we're mainly talking about non-support threads here, because I havent heard any criticisms or disagreements about any of the 'sexually or sexuality themed'support threads that people have posted.
In the past, we've had feedback from both sides of the fence ... when we remove a post that we feel goes over-the-top with the sex-stuff, we get feedback such as - 'You're always too STRICT! Why did you delete that? There's NOTHING wrong with nudity / mentioning specific name of a body part / having a sex related joke ? You're being waaay to TOUGH !' etc etc
But then again, we also get members saying that RYL is too LENIENT on all this sex talk, and that 'the mods arent doing anything about all the sexual depravity and innuendoes that are bombarding the forums. Where is the supervision and guidance? RYL is a sinking ship without any leader .... and if I had children, I wouldnt let them anywhere near RYL!'
We've heard extreme viewpoints from both sides of the fence, so I really wanted to see for myself what other members thought about the sexually (or sexuality) themed posts, threads, conversations, jokes etc on RYL, and whether they thought it was too over-the-top, whether they liked (or didnt like) seeing this sort of talk at RYL, and how RYL compared to other websites that they've visited.
Maybe this thread will lead to a community poll, where members can anonymously vote as to what sorts of moderating they want to see done on RYL, and how they want to see the mods handling any sex/adult talk .... or .... maybe Harley will make the decision on his own as to what he thinks is best for RYL.
It is a difficult juggle to remain as open and non-judgemental as possible, but while still trying to keep the site as safe and comfortable for as many people as possible.
Once again .... if you have something you want to say but dont feel comfortable enough to post on this thread, then please send me (or any other mod) a Private Message .... or .... you could also send an email anonymously to the moderators email at moderators@recoveryourlife.com ... just use an email addy that we arent familiar with, and we wont know its you. But while saying that, people are definitely NOT going to get penalised in any way for expressing an opinion about this ... esepcially seeing as I asked for it!
to be honest. there usually is nothing wrong with inuendos. mainly because if someone gets it, then they obviously already knew about that stuff. and if they don't, well they probs will not even notice it is sexual.
I think aslong as we keep any serious sexual talk well marked then its acceptable and I think joking sex talk is ok, because its not really taken seriously.
also may I just mention if we sensor everything people find offencive there will be nothing we would talk about.
I
Actual naturists are not doing it to be more sexual and make their life like a porno, they feel more comfortable in the buff. Its our natural state and they don't want to cover it up. There's nothing remotely inappropriate about that.
RYL is an SI, ED and Abuse support website, are there really that many true naturist's around here that we really need a Naturist's Room to make them happy? If they want to post about how much they like being nude and how that is their true state of being, it should be done on a naturist's forum.
It's inappropriate in my mind because all it, and other threads like it do is break up the community of RYL. We don't need a spam room for every different hobby, personal belief, sexuality, culture, or music genre. RYL is here to deal with one little slice of our lives, if people want to hang out and speak with other people who share those things with them, they need to find a forum for whatever it is they want to discuss.
I have no problem with people starting threads that are ongoing support threads, or discussions about how something like their sexuality or religion affects their SI/Mental Health/ED/whatever.
Some boards like ED, Staff and Vets have a "Whats going on with you" (the queendom etc) thread that is essentially a long conversation about how people are doing from day to day and those are not what I'm talking about either. I think those threads help build community, but things like the Naturists room just create cliques that spam.
Aidey
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
On that note, since we seem to have a naturist's thread, even though almost no true naturists (if any at all) can we have a rubber duck collecting thread?
I would like it :P
Last edited by Douglass : 13-07-2007 at 03:56 AM.
Reason: spelling mistake
First off, most other websites I've been on haven't allowed kids under 13 to post in on discussion boards or forums, or enter chatrooms at all. That's mainly because in the US there are laws prohibiting websites from collecting information from kids under 13 without their parents permission (I know at one point Neopets had a form that parents could sign and send in by fax to let their kids use certain parts of the site), but my understanding is that the laws in the UK are less strict. So it's hard to compare RYL to other sites that have kids under 13 on them as I don't actually know any such sites.
But I think that most websites tend to try to prevent kids from viewing "adult" content or entering "adult" discussions whether they want to or not, in the interest of "protecting" the kids, or, more likely, protecting themselves from potential lawsuits. Of course, it's easy enough to get around most age-restriction systems (apart from those asking for a credit card number), so whether or not it's good in principle, it's not exactly practical.
I don't think that "adult" content is strickly an age thing, either. Plenty of young people know "the facts of life," and some kids are already sexual active themselves at 13 or even younger. And adults don't necessarily want to see it all the time or without warning, either. I still look away from sex scenes in movies that plenty of teenagers would be comfortable watching.
I haven't noticed excessive amounts of sexual content on RYL, but I've been mostly in just a few parts of the site where I wouldn't expect to find it, but I'd say that regardless of the age of RYL users, most adult content should be allowed if and only if it's labeled as adult content. If young people want to ask for advice about "adult" issues or choose to read about them, they should be allowed. There's no sense in trying to stop them doing so, and I don't see where it's in their best interest either. And people who don't want to read sexual content shouldn't have to whether they're adults or not, and should be able to avoid it simply by not choosing to read posts that are labeled as adults.
When I read the "youngest user" thread, what I found alarming wasn't the prospect of young kids being able to view "adult" content on the site (that never even crossed my mind), but rather how many young people were posting their ages along with other info like first names and email/IM addresses. But I'm not sure it's actually dangerous on RYL specifically as it's a somewhat unique situation, just my insticts from other sites tell me that kids shouldn't go around telling people on the Internet how old they are.
RYL is an SI, ED and Abuse support website, are there really that many true naturist's around here that we really need a Naturist's Room to make them happy?
I wasn't saying that everyone who posts there is an actual naturist I was just saying that naturism (If that's even a word) in itself is not adult or particularly inappropriate.
As I said, I don't even like The Naturists Room, all these spam threads are annoying, there's atleast 3 on the ONE board. I think that's a tad ridiculous. And when you say "We don't need a spam room for every different hobby, personal belief, sexuality, culture, or music genre." I totally agree.
The Rainbow room is basically a spam thread for everyone, you don't have to be gay to post there, so essentially it sort of is just a long conversation about peoples day to day lives. But it's still cliquey. The whole SITE is cliquey, and it's not going to stop being cliquey either. When you get a large number of people together ofcourse they're going to break off in groups.
RYL isn't just an SI/ED/abuse support website. It's a place where friends come and chat, relax and have a laugh.
This is all about what people personally think is appropriate and inappropriate and that changes with everyone so it's going to be pretty damn hard to keep people happy about it.
Saying that, I'm fine with how things are. (On the adult discussion front)
Oh and I'm 18, I forgot to mention in my last post.
please dont throw stones.
i adore everyone here.
but ive been thinking and what i keep coming back to is....i have a ten year old son and i would NOT want him coming here.
i dont know what the youngest age here is but ive seen 11 year olds. thats only one year difference than my little boy. and i definitely would NOT find this site appropriate for him.
im 30 years old and call me old fashion but thats how i feel.
i think children (and yes, an 11 year old IS a child) should not be exposed to alot of threads ive seen. and call me crazy, but when a child sees an ADULT warning, that will only make them more curious.
i honestly dont know the answer to this....and most of you dont see it as a problem..so there may be no answer given.
also...i do know that alot of adult threads have been in Vets in the past.
even so, there is no barrier keeping children away from those. they are just as accessible as any other thread.
i cant imagine how hard it is to control everything that goes on here and i have major respect for the mods.
i just wanted to say that with my son being 10, i wouldnt want him coming here.
i think alot of other parents would agree.
*ducks*
love to all
xx
Last edited by pea soup : 13-07-2007 at 05:11 AM.
Reason: spelling error
i think children (an yes, an 11 year old IS a child) should not be exposed to alot of threads ive seen. and call me crazy, but when a child sees an ADULT warning, that will only make them more curious.
Just wanna say I don't agree with that and I am 11. It might with some, but really I figure it'll probably just be about something I dont wanna read. Sorry, but when your my age and on this site, self-harming and stuff, your really only here for the support. Just my opinion.
i have a ten year old son and i would NOT want him coming here.
I totally understand where you're coming from on that, and I wouldn't want a 10-year-old I was responsible for coming on here either. But I also have to assume that you wouldn't let him come on here. The fact is, if you give him unsupervised Internet use, he could just as easily look up porn sites if he wanted to, or even come across them by accident, and see far more graphic content that he'd find on RYL. And the kids who are coming on here probably haven't been nearly as sheltered as your son probably has been considering that their parents either don't moniter their Internet use or have deemed this site appropriate.
I may well be wrong, but I doubt there are many kids who have at the age of 11 recognized that they are engaging in self harm or that they have an eating disorder, are getting help for that issue, and choose to come to a support site like RYL on their own, and don't have enough parental supervision to prevent them doing so, who doesn't either already know a fair amount about "the facts of life" or choose to avoid adult posts on their own.
To a significant extent, it's up to parents to shelter their kids from "adult" content as they see fit, and it's neither practical nor possible for websites targetted at a wide range of ages to act as parents for unsupervised children. People need to be able to discuss sexual issues on the site as they're very often closely related to the main purpose of the site, and so regardless of what's done about "adult" jokes and chatter, I don't think it would be practical or productive to make the site strickly "appropriate" for young children. I also think that young people may have questions or concerns about "adult" topics that they should be able to have addressed, and for kids who, for whatever reason, can't or won't talk to their parents about it, RYL seems like a relatively safe place for them to ask about it.
I think allalone_x has proved her point - she doesn't view the adult posts because they don't intrest her. That's pretty mature of her, but that's just her. Other young'uns might be drawn to the adult label, true. But then that is their own fault if the thread is deliberately labelled. However -
- the discussion is mostly on the random, adult sexual jokes. Ones that might be in threads without adult labels.
Anwyay, slightly off topic but I think this is important to highlight:
Quote:
It's [the naturist thread] inappropriate in my mind because all it, and other threads like it do is break up the community of RYL. We don't need a spam room for every different hobby, personal belief, sexuality, culture, or music genre. RYL is here to deal with one little slice of our lives, if people want to hang out and speak with other people who share those things with them, they need to find a forum for whatever it is they want to discuss.
Some boards like ED, Staff and Vets have a "Whats going on with you" (the queendom etc) thread that is essentially a long conversation about how people are doing from day to day and those are not what I'm talking about either. I think those threads help build community, but things like the Naturists room just create cliques that spam.
hi again...
i hope i didnt come across too negative in my previous reply.
i just wanted to add that i know RYL can only do so much to protect the younger people and i do believe it is ultimately the parent or guardians responsibility to monitor what the child is doing on the internet. my son doesnt live with me but i know he has very limited access on the internet and im very glad.
just wanted to add that :)
