self harm as always been part of my girlfriends life, she stopped for many years but in the last 9 months it started again and has started to increase and become more regular... i am feeling so many different emotions and trying my best to support her but finding it hard to cope with my own feelings... i just feel a bit lost, im scared all the time that something might happen, and finding myself thinking about it all the time hense how i got here! just wondered if anyone could help me?
It's hard to be in a relationship with someone who does this because a lot of times you feel like its your fault even if its not. You obviously care about her a lot so what I would say is that you should just talk to her. Tell her everything your feeling, about how your scared and how your having issues with your own feelings. Just talk to her. That's all i've got for you :)
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."
I think you need to talk to your girlfriend about how you feel, you have shown you care by posting here and you need to be honest with her. Is there anyone who can support you with how your feeling? I know its hard but you need to really take care of yourself because if your not well then you cannot support her.
Take care of yourself love
xx
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
I can relate to what you are saying. My boyfriend is in the same boat as you. It took a long time for me to realise what it was/is doing to him. I made a grown man cry and to see that broke my heart.
My advice to you is dont let it get that far, talk to her about it. She porbably doesnt even know how much it is hurting you because guys have to be strong for their girls, dont they?
Communicate with her, she might be screaming on the inside for you to do so. You will never find out if you never ask babe. It is important for you to be honest with her and she will be honest in return. It is an extremely hard situation to be in so be careful.
If you would rather talk to someone who is in the exact same situation as yourself, I am sure my boyfriend would be willing to contact you and discuss this. Let me know and I can pass on the contact details.
Heyya,
Try talking to your girlfriend about how it makes you feel. Make sure you know that you're there for her and she can talk to you anytime about anything. Is she getting any professional help/support? If not, maybe talk to her about getting some?! xx
thank you everyone for the lovely replies, i have spoken to her about some of the feeling i was having but mainly this was when i was very emotional and at the heat of the moment, i dont think she really knows how much i think about it everyday and how scared i am, i guess i have been putting a brave face on trying not to to make her feel any worse or ashamed. I think i will try and talk to her honestly and tell her how much i am hurting, i guess my worry is that will make her feel bad and thats not what i want to do...
I am thinking about getting some councelling support myself so i dont fall apart and can be there for her, she is not getting any professional help at the moment and is saying that she wants to deal with this herself and believes she can, i am trying hard to respect that, but she has said if things get out of hand she would consider it.... i am trying to leave the control with her and hope that respecting her decisions will help...
Also i myself am a psychiatric nurse, which makes things even more confusing for me and very hard to to intervene...
That seems like the best plan. If you stay composed then I don't think you will worry her as much as you would if you fell apart.
You have experience with this type of problem I take it, as a result of your job? If so, I would assume that it would make it harder for you to be there for her because you know what she *should* be doing but isn't ready to do yet.
My heart really goes out to you because you care so much about her. I really can't imagine what you must be going through.
Again, if you ever need anything please don't hesitate to contact me.
My current boyfriend is in the same kind of situation you are in. Talking about it is definitly your best bet. You definitly don't want that sense of communication to slip away, sometimes just being honest or letting her know that you are there for her can make the world's difference. I know I hated knowing that my boyfriend was worrying about me, but at the same time, I knew then that he really cared, which you obviously do about your girlfriend. Hope things are okay for you.
=) *Hugs*
~~SW~~
**~~When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm to alive, and you're to strong~~**
**~~ If you feel alone, or just want someone to care, I will. PM ME and I will LISTEN~~**
