Triggering (SI) - a girl at college

TinkerDebs · 03-03-2009, 08:05 PM

there is a girl at college who hangs around near and with our group and she is a self harmer - yet she doesn't seem to care about everyone seeing her cuts yet she seems to forget is that she's NOT the only self harmer - there are several of us that self harm/ used to self harm and when she's got her cuts out (sometimes the cuts are only a few days old) it is extremely triggering for the rest of us
me and my friend had to walk away yesterday because things were to triggering

i don't have anything against her being open about her self harm but i just think she should show a little more consideration seeing that it's a known fact that there are other self harmers in the our group

do you tihnk i should talk to her about this???? i've been triggered by her cuts before when she's had them showing but it's becoming a daily issue now (for example - yesterday she cut the bottom of her foot and then today sat in the middle of the space with the cut on display whist she changed the dressing publically)
am i just being picky or is this a little bit too much???
responses would be helpful
thank you

EMH · 03-03-2009, 08:24 PM

i think you should talk to her about it, you shouldnt have to be tirggered cos itll just make things much worse for you and your friends

Palladion · 03-03-2009, 08:27 PM

I don't think you are being picky at all, it's not fair on you and others if you are triggered by cuts. Especially if she knows there are other self harmers in the group.

maybe you should talk to her and just explain that you don't mind her being open and honest about her self harm, but having new cuts out is triggering for you. Maybe because looking at cuts doesn't trigger her, she thinks that it doesn't trigger you either. i don't know.

Hope everything turns out OK.
stay safe.
xxx

tamobhuuta · 03-03-2009, 08:35 PM

i think it'd be fine to ask her to be a little more covert, as long as you do it sensitively, maybe just by yourself, and explain that you find it triggering.

AJ303 · 03-03-2009, 08:43 PM

Personly i think its definatly "a little to much" actually changing the dressings? seams very unfair on you, if she knows others do it to then she should cover fresh cuts/bandages, so others are not triggered, as shes your friend purhaps you could sugest this, :) as it must make things very hard for you

Katiee · 03-03-2009, 09:30 PM

That must be horrible if she knows there are other self-harmers around and it could be triggering. Have you told her how it's making you feel and how it triggers you? Take care xx

brap_brap · 03-03-2009, 09:46 PM

Thats bad i would tell her how triggering it is for the rest of ye

eyes.wide.open · 03-03-2009, 10:05 PM

I think you should mention it to her, nicely of course. It might have taken her alot of courage to show her scars and stuff, but its never good to trigger other people. If she was aware she was doing it, she would probably stop. I mean, its harming you directly, so its definitetly worth mentioning!
GoodLuck!

TinkerDebs · 03-03-2009, 11:36 PM

i guess its good to know i wasn't being padantic about it

she's not directly a 'friend' in a sense - more just somebody there
there are many of us in the small area

but i do think i may have a word with her
i know i'm not the only one who's been triggered by her so it would benefit all of us if she was to be a little more careful

thanks for the replies - very appreciated

Ashleygray · 04-03-2009, 06:31 AM

I've had this problem before.. but i wasn't really friends with the girl so i didnt have the option to talk to her about it.

I ended up going to my deputy principal and telling him about how i felt.
He talked to her, and she covered up.

04jh1911 · 05-03-2009, 10:30 AM

u should totally talk to her bout this
seems like she duz this on purpose to get som attention
nd ya kno all about it so ould be helpfull to her me thinkz
:D
i kno i hav myn out quite alot
i guss i want som1 to care
but not just enyone, som1 im close to :)