My brother who has hurt me a lot, just said sorry to me. Reason he said sorry was because he wanted to do it before I move countries. Just because I was moving, why couldn't of he said sorry before when I wasn't moving. I don't know how to react, I will still have flashbacks, I will still feel out of control, all the things that have come because of the abuse, don't stop because he said sorry. He is sorry that he caused me so much pain, that I tried to take my life many times, he is sorry that he didnt realise that the reason I was doing that was partly because of what he had done. But who cares anyway, I'm still a messed up 18 year old who will live with what he did for the rest of her life, yes he may think of it sometimes, but he wont be the one holding when I am hiding under blankets, he wont be the one talking to me when I am upset because something happens that reminds me of it. He isn't the one majorly affected I am, yet sorry is meant to fix, I'm sorry my brother you can go away, sorry doesn't fix a thing
It's easier to run; Replacing this pain with something numb;It's so much easier to go;Than face all this pain here all alone;
Some people say courage is diving infront of a bullet, or bungy jumping off a bridge, but thats not true courage, true courage is facing everyday knowing that it won't be a happy go lucky day, but facing it anyway. It's facing your past, dealing with the present, and looking forward to brighter days.
I can bet 20 bucks he regrets what he did. Knowing you will leave, i think he felt he will never have a chance to say sorry, indicating he regrets it in some degree.
Hun, i know you don't ask for advice here, but you gotta learn to forgive and forget. I know how cliche that sounds, but it's best for you to rise above him and leave the past behind.
I'm truly sorry you had such a horrible experience with a family member, but i hope you find the strength to leave and find a new, better life.
Take care
Your Mind Can Never Change, Unless You Ask It To. Lovingly Re-arrange The Thoughts that Make You Blue.
The Things that Bring you Down, Only Do Harm To You. So Make Your Choice Joy, The Joy Belongs to You.
You have every right to do with his apology as you please. You can accept it and forgive him, or you can reject it. To be honest I think it is possible to move forward and be happy either way, and it is up to you-either course of action is understandable.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I can bet 20 bucks he regrets what he did. Knowing you will leave, i think he felt he will never have a chance to say sorry, indicating he regrets it in some degree.
Hun, i know you don't ask for advice here, but you gotta learn to forgive and forget. I know how cliche that sounds, but it's best for you to rise above him and leave the past behind.
I'm truly sorry you had such a horrible experience with a family member, but i hope you find the strength to leave and find a new, better life.
Take care
Leave the past behind, when his actions have lead me to hiding under a blanket sometimes, help lead me to depression and sucide attempts, which means I now need meds because I can't cope without them. I will forgive him, he was young and silly, but I will NEVER forget the hurt he impacted on me, how his action have made my life harder than it shuld of been. I WILL NEVER FORGET IT
It's easier to run; Replacing this pain with something numb;It's so much easier to go;Than face all this pain here all alone;
Some people say courage is diving infront of a bullet, or bungy jumping off a bridge, but thats not true courage, true courage is facing everyday knowing that it won't be a happy go lucky day, but facing it anyway. It's facing your past, dealing with the present, and looking forward to brighter days.
Just because you said sorry doesn't mean you have to forgive him or even feel any different about him. He still hurt you, and you can take as much time as you need to heal, and in your own way. Without sounding cold, it really doesn't matter how he feels about this or if he's very sorry. like you said it doesn't change what he did. *hugs*
*cuddles*
Just because he said sorry doesn't mean you have to forgive him you might never forgive him for what he did or maybe one day you will but no matter how sorry he is what he did was wrong and it doesn't change the fact it has affected you so much and really hurt you. Its up to you whether you want to forgive him or not.
Take care of yourself love
xx
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
The anger and upsets over bad events often do more harm than the events themselves. Resentment is a hypnotic emotion that keeps you fixated to the negative thoughts and feelings that can condition everything you do - if a person is aware of it or not. Even if your brother didn't say he was sorry you would want to let go of the hostility. That doesn't mean you have to minimise or accept wrongs it just means you take control of how you respond to them.
As a somewhat crude example:
Lets say your playing on a lawn with your friends and you roll into doggy poops by accident. Its kinda gross but you might laugh about it. Now say a mean kid came by and threw the poops at you. That might cause you to react with shock and anger - and then you will have a trauma on your hands because of the nature of your reaction.
Of course that doesn't mean we always have the choice about how to respond. Kids especially aren't prepared to handle a lot of bad events and such events tend to go through people instead of people through events. However as maturity sets in people can learn to modify their emotions. Indeed, the way you get free of the past is to learn to handle stress and angers in the present.
Your brother sounds like a half decent kid. Most people never say sorry for difficult things even if they might feel that way. Whatever your brother did it could be he was also not himself after having been shocked or upset by something. It often happens that traumatised people themselves go on to traumatise others.
“Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Promises mean everything, but once they are broken sorry means nothing. Someone can apologize a billion times but it doesnt change anything. The pain is still there and that is something you will have to deal with for quite some time. It's hard to deal with it I know, believe me, I know. But you have to forgive yourself and learn to cope and love yourself and treat yourself well and move past this before you can forgive him. It's not like bumping into someone accidentally on the street, and in most cases in life, sorry just doesn't cut it. And yeah he may regret it, but like you said he's the one who created all this mess and he's not going to be the one to make it all better. That part is yours, however you aren't alone. You have all of us here on RYL and you're totally welcome to contact me anytime you need someone. It will take time. It will be hard. But you deserve to be happy, don't let anyone or anything tell you different. It will take time, but you will be free.
Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
