Thanks for all the responses.
It's me who take the children to any appointments so there's really nothing I can do there regarding mentioning on front of the Health Visitor for the mother's benefit. The family moved in July and as of yet haven't seen the Health Visitor in their new area but today I asked her to phone about baby's jabs and she did and they mentioned how it's been a long since either saw a Health Visitor so she is coming out next Wednesday to see the babies!
Yes both babies have very hard poos. They have to strain to get them out and it makes them scream in pain and break out in a sweat. The youngest started pushing at about 10am this morning and it wasn't until 5pm that he managed to get his poo out. I feed the 2 year old as much fruit as possible and she likes it but the 1 year old won't eat much. I believe it's because the mother delayed moving him onto solids and semi-solids. She waited until he was 7 months before introducing food to him and she has him on stage 2 food at the moment. She did buy stage 3 this month for him to start but after a week asked me not to give him them anymore and put him back on stage 2 as she thought he was struggling with the bigger pieces. It's my understanding he should be on stage 4 now though...??
Yes both are still using bottles. I'm aware that the 2 year old shouldn't be having her milk from bottles but didn't know the younger one should also be onto beakers for his milk. I'm now hoping that I can get this info from the Health Visitor so I can pass it on the mum and now it won't seem like I'm looking up things behind her back!
The mum doesn't give it all at once. I know the 2 year old gets a bottle in the evening before bed to sit on the settee with and then another when she actually goes to bed. She then wakes up during the night and crys for more, which e mother goes in and gives her.
The younger baby gets a couple of bottles in one go. And then wakes up in the night and they give him a bottle to stop him crying. The mum says he wakes up at 3.30am every night without fail and then again at 6am. And she just gives him milk to go back to sleep. I don't know why they wake up during the night but she seems to have taken it as normal even at the age the babies are now. She doesn't question something is wrong but says she's really tired and wishes they would sleep through.
They seemed fine when I brought it up in a jokey way. Like yesterday there was 11 bottles by the sink waiting to be washed and I said wow was that just from last night, that's a lot isn't it. And the mum just laughed and said yep I'm afraid so, just last nights.
I've told them both a number of times that I don't think the 2 year old girl even wants the milk all the time and that she's got to the point now where she's just using it as a soother because she's never had a dummy. And they said yeah you're probably right and left it at that.
There are more issues than the milk but the other things I don't believe are my place to say. Like for instance they rarely bathe their babies. I'm talking maybe once a week or less. I do it when I can but it's not in my job description and I've never been asked to do it so I sometimes feel awkward when they come home in the evening to find the children bathed and in their night clothes because their usual response is something along the lines of.....Oh, you bathed them. You didn't need to do that. Thanks though.
Potty training is the other thing. I started it when the girl was 18 months. I asked the mother to purchase a potty which she did and began training and was getting on well until the parents got lazy and stopped doing their part in the evenings and weekends. The girl now refuses to use her potty and when I try to place her on it she screams as if she's really scared. Any tips for this?? Also can it work if she's only potty training between the hours of 9am and 6pm?
Pyschic readings aren't really that expensive but i think it depends how you look at it. I mean, it's not like you have a psychic reading every week! Most psychics give readings for the future/the next year, it's usually recommended you leave it anywhere between 3-6 months before having another.
I've had 2 and the first was SPOOKILY accurate, to the point where i now actually question it because it was so bloody weird, lol. The second one wasn't as great (two different psychics) but she still was spot on with some things.
I just find it so intriguing and interesting. It's roughly about £15 for 30-40 minutes, which isn't bad at all when you think about it. Maybe for a birthday gift you could have one? Although it's always best to go by word of mouth, and they do have sites where you can check for ledgit psychics etc so you know you aren't being conned! I think you'd love it, you're open minded enough for them to pick up on alot about you. If i lived near you i'd come with you as i need another one!
Thats bollocks about the council, but they've f*cked my mother/father over so much over the past few years that i can't say i'm surprised you're having issues.
Don't go back to your previous job if you know you won't be happy there Stace. It will only bring you down and Freyja wants a happy mummy not a sad one.
What about getting a job part time? That way you can still be a SAHM part time and it won't be so stressful for you. I really hope things pick up for you soon, but try and remain positive, the more you're down on yourself the more low you're going to feel.
wakes up in the night and they give him a bottle to stop him crying. The mum says he wakes up at 3.30am every night without fail and then again at 6am. And she just gives him milk to go back to sleep. I don't know why they wake up during the night but she seems to have taken it as normal even at the age the babies are now.
sounds like my situation! It's a hard one to get out of. The only way is to stop the bottles, and be really really tough. Easier said than done though. I haven't done it yet.
Quote:
Potty training is the other thing
I think 18months is too young and unless you have an advanced child, you're setting yourself up for failure. Only my opinion though, but I've seen plenty of people start that early. But I've only seen one person succeed, and it took a LOT of effort, and a lot of setbacks along the way. If you start later, it's less problematic as the child is truly ready, and picks it up easier and quicker. Personally I'm not going to start until the summer (Madeleine is 2 at the end of April).
Thanks for all the responses.
It's me who take the children to any appointments so there's really nothing I can do there regarding mentioning on front of the Health Visitor for the mother's benefit. The family moved in July and as of yet haven't seen the Health Visitor in their new area but today I asked her to phone about baby's jabs and she did and they mentioned how it's been a long since either saw a Health Visitor so she is coming out next Wednesday to see the babies!
Yes both babies have very hard poos. They have to strain to get them out and it makes them scream in pain and break out in a sweat. The youngest started pushing at about 10am this morning and it wasn't until 5pm that he managed to get his poo out. I feed the 2 year old as much fruit as possible and she likes it but the 1 year old won't eat much. I believe it's because the mother delayed moving him onto solids and semi-solids. She waited until he was 7 months before introducing food to him and she has him on stage 2 food at the moment. She did buy stage 3 this month for him to start but after a week asked me not to give him them anymore and put him back on stage 2 as she thought he was struggling with the bigger pieces. It's my understanding he should be on stage 4 now though...??
Yes both are still using bottles. I'm aware that the 2 year old shouldn't be having her milk from bottles but didn't know the younger one should also be onto beakers for his milk. I'm now hoping that I can get this info from the Health Visitor so I can pass it on the mum and now it won't seem like I'm looking up things behind her back!
The mum doesn't give it all at once. I know the 2 year old gets a bottle in the evening before bed to sit on the settee with and then another when she actually goes to bed. She then wakes up during the night and crys for more, which e mother goes in and gives her.
The younger baby gets a couple of bottles in one go. And then wakes up in the night and they give him a bottle to stop him crying. The mum says he wakes up at 3.30am every night without fail and then again at 6am. And she just gives him milk to go back to sleep. I don't know why they wake up during the night but she seems to have taken it as normal even at the age the babies are now. She doesn't question something is wrong but says she's really tired and wishes they would sleep through.
They seemed fine when I brought it up in a jokey way. Like yesterday there was 11 bottles by the sink waiting to be washed and I said wow was that just from last night, that's a lot isn't it. And the mum just laughed and said yep I'm afraid so, just last nights.
I've told them both a number of times that I don't think the 2 year old girl even wants the milk all the time and that she's got to the point now where she's just using it as a soother because she's never had a dummy. And they said yeah you're probably right and left it at that.
There are more issues than the milk but the other things I don't believe are my place to say. Like for instance they rarely bathe their babies. I'm talking maybe once a week or less. I do it when I can but it's not in my job description and I've never been asked to do it so I sometimes feel awkward when they come home in the evening to find the children bathed and in their night clothes because their usual response is something along the lines of.....Oh, you bathed them. You didn't need to do that. Thanks though.
Potty training is the other thing. I started it when the girl was 18 months. I asked the mother to purchase a potty which she did and began training and was getting on well until the parents got lazy and stopped doing their part in the evenings and weekends. The girl now refuses to use her potty and when I try to place her on it she screams as if she's really scared. Any tips for this?? Also can it work if she's only potty training between the hours of 9am and 6pm?
Woah, long post sorry
x
Seven months isn't delayed weaning, ideally, weaning shouldn't be done until 6 months, and even then it's complementary to milk until 12 months. If their constipation is that bad, they need to be taken to a doctor. Water is also good, fibre helps, but so does fluids. With the younger one, they're old enough that they shouldn't really be eating jars, you may have success using baby led weaning techniques; basically giving things they can hold and feed themselves. Introducing cutlery and funky plates/bowls is also a good way to encourage eating.
Two year olds using bottles isn't unusual, it's ideal that they stop at age one though. Beakers can be introduced from four months, so whilst it's normal for toddlers still to use bottles, it's also normal for them to be at least using beakers for meal times. You definitely need to speak to a health visitor. Out of interest, great book to read is Toddler Taming :)
A one year old still wanting milk during the night isn't off the wall, but unless they have special needs of some sort, they can manage without normally. To be getting through 11 bottles though is frightening and constipation is the least of their worries.
Bathing doesn't have to happen every night, it's common for parents to bathe every two or three days. Do you think the children are suffering as a result? Is their skin bad from not being cleaned?
I'm surprised you started potty training so early, the expected age is anywhere between age two and three usually. Potty training does have to be an all or nothing activity. Leaving the potty for a while could help, read up and see that the little one is happy to be going to the toilet anyway (that's a point, you can go straight to the toilet with a toddler seat).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven
i could go speak to a housing officer but im not sure of how much they can help as i am privately renting. and i have just taken on a 12 month lease. i googled the discretionary fund but edinburgh doesnt appear to have one either??? lots of other places like glasgow came up but no edinburgh, and when i searched the council website i couldnt find anything.
i am getting my child tax and working tax credits yeah. i have had a look at my expenditure and its just about viable. going by jamies income and my tax credits, once we have paid all of our bills etc, we will have £40 left over a week. that will be to feed us all, clothe freyja, and put nappies on her bum. just seems so unfair. especially given she goes through a tub of formula a week, at around £8.
They should help you regardless of how you're renting, we're privately renting too but they still help. Go in and talk to someone, find out exactly where you stand. It doesn't help immensely, but have you thought about cloth nappies? There is an initial cost (which councils can contribute towards) but after that it'd just the cost of an extra few washes a week. Go and speak to someone at the council, explain your situation, they should listen.
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
18 months is quite early, but it does depend on the child. My godson is 20 months old and has been potty training for a few weeks now and already asks to sit on the potty when he needs to go. He's in nappies at night but mostly dry during the day.
I know it's frustrating when you're nannying and don't agree with the parents' way of doing things. I always thought the children I looked after were very babied and not independent enough, but you have to respect the parents' views. I did manage to improve things by just introducing small changes, such as the ten year old making her own breakfast/brush her own hair etc. But it's just part of the job, unfortunately!
oh if its only like £15 then thats not so bad! my mum had one recently, she won a ticket in a competition and it was valued at £100! thats what i thought it cost!!! so yeah i will def look out for one, once i have this cash flow sorted out. its my birthday in march so maybe i will get some money!
i am looking at part time jobs and working from home but im getting nowhere fast. i will keep trying though!!!!
i will see if i can have a word with one then shona, see if i can get some advice. jamie has this idea in his head that cloth nappies are false economy and no one has been able to talk him out of it, not even my mother who used them with us. so i dont think id get there anytime soon with him. if it go to the stage where i didnt have any nappies, i do have terrys that i used as muslins when freyja was tiny.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
Ah they do vary Stace, and it all depends on what you have done in the reading - tarot, crystals, ball, and whether it includes the past/present/future, whether you ask questions..etc..etc. It does depend on a lot. But both mine were £15 for 30 minutes!
And your mother is bloody lucky, haha, *is jealous*. What did she think of the reading?
And fingers crossed for you in regards to jobhunting. <3
Hey. Well i've just found out i'm pregnant (its still early days 4 + 2 weeks!) and i'm pretty anxious about it right now. I had a miscarriage in june and am so scared of losing this bean too! going to the doctors tomorrow for vitamins and such (last time i was given folic acid)... and well i just thought i would come here onto this post. with any luck this bean will be a sticky and i will carry full term!!
Last edited by x-mixedemotions : 19-02-2009 at 12:00 AM.
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
Seven months isn't delayed weaning, ideally, weaning shouldn't be done until 6 months, and even then it's complementary to milk until 12 months.
Babies from 4 months can begin to be weaned no? Obviously not jars but baby rice from that age. All babies I've caed for have been on baby rice from 4-6 months and then onto jars. Just in general I mean anyway, he's 13 months now but his mother still has him on food meant for much younger babies. And she's specifically told me not to give him stage 3. It's not a major problem but it's a worry as surely this can have problems with regards to learning to chew and developing jaw muscles.
Quote:
If their constipation is that bad, they need to be taken to a doctor.
I've tried asking but the mother has bought Calfig syrup of figs and thinks this helps but it makes no difference.
I've brought up things before about taking them to the doctors. It was me who insisted on taking the girl for a fungal toe infection that she'd had and also she had skin problems which turned out to be eczema. The boy had a rash on his face that the parents weren't concerned with but I asked if I could take him to the doctors and it turned out he needed cream and had an ear infection.
So I'm not backward about coming forwards if I think a visit to the doctor is needed but the poo thing, they won't make an appointment and seem to just accept it.
Quote:
Out of interest, great book to read is Toddler Taming :)
Thanks, will look it up.
Quote:
Bathing doesn't have to happen every night, it's common for parents to bathe every two or three days. Do you think the children are suffering as a result? Is their skin bad from not being cleaned?
I believe so. The 2 year old girl had impetigo just before Christmas.
Both babies have sore red bums which doesn't get better with sudocreme. The older child I look after who is 10 also has problems, she has sores on her bum and tops of her thighs.
Quote:
I'm surprised you started potty training so early, the expected age is anywhere between age two and three usually. Potty training does have to be an all or nothing activity. Leaving the potty for a while could help, read up and see that the little one is happy to be going to the toilet anyway
She's quite advanced and was ready for it so I thought I'd give it a go. She got on really well and wasn't at the stage where she'd know she needed to pee but she would know if she needed to poo and go to it and we had a routine where she'd sit on it after meals and would pee.
It was working well until the parents stopped using it with her when I wasn't there and as a result she stopped wanting to use it and would say she wanted to do a poo in her nappy. I was never goign to force her to continue with it if she wasn't happy to but now she's nearly 2 and a half so it's time to really get stuck into it but my only concern is the parent's getting bored and lazy again!
I'm making this family sound awful but they are really nice. I just think the parents aren't as interested in their kids as they should be.
In general the children are happy and they live in a lovely big house and have lots of toys but I'm fully aware kids need more than that and I don't think the parents of these children are providing the love and care they should be. They have their own business and are more interested in making that a success.
can you get info on both past and present in the same reading? my mum was impressed, shes into all this stuff too. apparently, i am going to find my niche, things are going to look up and i will end up doing something i really enjoy. fingers crossed!!!
congratulations to you tilly! sending sticky vibes to beany!!! i am jealous, pregnancy is such a beautiful time :)
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
oh if its only like £15 then thats not so bad! my mum had one recently, she won a ticket in a competition and it was valued at £100! thats what i thought it cost!!! so yeah i will def look out for one, once i have this cash flow sorted out. its my birthday in march so maybe i will get some money!
i am looking at part time jobs and working from home but im getting nowhere fast. i will keep trying though!!!!
i will see if i can have a word with one then shona, see if i can get some advice. jamie has this idea in his head that cloth nappies are false economy and no one has been able to talk him out of it, not even my mother who used them with us. so i dont think id get there anytime soon with him. if it go to the stage where i didnt have any nappies, i do have terrys that i used as muslins when freyja was tiny.
That's kinda strange, but then again, men are strange creatures! For what it's worth, we've easily recouped the cost of nappies, don't use wipes either; the only cost we have now is an extra wash every couple of days! It is worth checking out if Edinburgh council run a refund scheme for reusable nappies, where they give you X amount of money towards the cost.
Quote:
Originally Posted by believedyourlies
Hey. Well i've just found out i'm pregnant (its still early days 4 + 2 weeks!) and i'm pretty anxious about it right now. I had a miscarriage in june and am so scared of losing this bean too! going to the doctors tomorrow for vitamins and such (last time i was given folic acid)... and well i just thought i would come here onto this post. with any luck this bean will be a sticky and i will carry full term!!
Congratulations :) Really hope things go well for you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by GlitterGirl
Babies from 4 months can begin to be weaned no? Obviously not jars but baby rice from that age. All babies I've caed for have been on baby rice from 4-6 months and then onto jars. Just in general I mean anyway, he's 13 months now but his mother still has him on food meant for much younger babies. And she's specifically told me not to give him stage 3. It's not a major problem but it's a worry as surely this can have problems with regards to learning to chew and developing jaw muscles.
I've tried asking but the mother has bought Calfig syrup of figs and thinks this helps but it makes no difference.
I've brought up things before about taking them to the doctors. It was me who insisted on taking the girl for a fungal toe infection that she'd had and also she had skin problems which turned out to be eczema. The boy had a rash on his face that the parents weren't concerned with but I asked if I could take him to the doctors and it turned out he needed cream and had an ear infection.
So I'm not backward about coming forwards if I think a visit to the doctor is needed but the poo thing, they won't make an appointment and seem to just accept it.
Thanks, will look it up.
I believe so. The 2 year old girl had impetigo just before Christmas.
Both babies have sore red bums which doesn't get better with sudocreme. The older child I look after who is 10 also has problems, she has sores on her bum and tops of her thighs.
She's quite advanced and was ready for it so I thought I'd give it a go. She got on really well and wasn't at the stage where she'd know she needed to pee but she would know if she needed to poo and go to it and we had a routine where she'd sit on it after meals and would pee.
It was working well until the parents stopped using it with her when I wasn't there and as a result she stopped wanting to use it and would say she wanted to do a poo in her nappy. I was never goign to force her to continue with it if she wasn't happy to but now she's nearly 2 and a half so it's time to really get stuck into it but my only concern is the parent's getting bored and lazy again!
I'm making this family sound awful but they are really nice. I just think the parents aren't as interested in their kids as they should be.
In general the children are happy and they live in a lovely big house and have lots of toys but I'm fully aware kids need more than that and I don't think the parents of these children are providing the love and care they should be. They have their own business and are more interested in making that a success.
I'm hearing mumphs over the baby monitor just now, so may have to run!
Babies can be weaned from 4 months, but the recommendation (with good reason) is 6 months. Why not try the little one with finger foods?
That's slightly worrying the flippance the parents seem to have over the children's health, i've said it already, but i think there'd be alot to gain from talking to their health visitor.
Toddler Taming really is fantastic book.
I'll spell this wrong no doubt, but Kamomillsan cream is really good for sore bums (would be in baby section, basically a chamomile cream). Lots of nappy free time helps too. Impetigo isn't something i've overly familiar with, but found this interesting: http://kidshealth.org/parent/infecti.../impetigo.html So yes, health visitor visit!
I believe so. The 2 year old girl had impetigo just before Christmas.
Both babies have sore red bums which doesn't get better with sudocreme. The older child I look after who is 10 also has problems, she has sores on her bum and tops of her thighs.
Sadly, these parents sound like they need something more than a nudge about their parenting and i think you really need to seek professional advice.
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
Stace - You'd have to look into people in your area, some do past life regression, some do future readings, some mention the past/present and future. It all depends on what they do!
I'd recommend buying Chat - It's fate, and Take a Break - It's fate. They come out on the first of every month, they're psychic/paranormal mags, cost about £1.80 each! Lots of really good stuff in them and they may have someone in your area aswell. Keep me posted! XXXX
i will look into that shona, because if the council does have some kind of scheme, environmentally and financially it would make sense
its up near skye berni. here is their website, there is a map on there. the prices are a bit steep for the wedding though, so you would need to get saving lol but i think you will find prices like that with a lot of castles im afraid. http://www.eileandonancastle.com/home.htm
by the way - have you seen the movie highlander? that is the castle in the movie! thats what originally attracted jamies attention to it.
ha i love take a break, thats good bathroom reading!!! lol! will have a nosey at the fate and fortune ones
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
believed your lies - congratulations! I really hope this pregnancy goes well. I called my baby a 'bean' aswell! And we still call her Beanie most of the time, rather than Madeleine, which is her name.
glittergirl - 6 months is the recommended weaning age, although I think most parents choose to wean earlier (from 4months). Some babies just get hungry. Madeleine was waking hourly through the night for feeds at 4 months and feeding all day too. So we started weaning then, against advice.
My little boy is 4 months 3 weeks, and he's been weaning for a couple of weeks now. he was just not satisfied with milk, even hungry baby milk, and was trying to drink so much that he was being sick because he simply couldn't hold that much milk in his stomach!
He has baby rice, gluten free rusks, and more recently he has pureed fruit and veg. We're staying gluten free til he's 6 months though, then his diet can becaome a bit more varied
you are a childcare porfessional, as is a health visitor. if you feel the parents are ignoring things (such as the constipation) that need seeing to, mention it to the health visitor. she can always write a letter to the parents about her findings. you can ask her not to mention you drawing her attention to anything.
it's my view that kids on milk like that at night will wake up because they are used to it, not because they need it.
overfeeding can cause obesity, a friend at church did on demand feeding with formula and her son was really big, instead of seeing a health visitor and asking about giving water instead or about moving onto a different kind of formula, she was giving him at least double all his life. he was born quite small so she presumed he was catching up. now he is 18 months, in 18-24months trousers and the flys won't do up, but everything has to be rolled up coz he isn't as tall as the clothes he is wearing.
speak to the HV about your concerns, maybe even get her to recommend a diet (instead of jars) of suitable foods and how much milk to give, and to write it down for the parents, with maybe recommendations of weekly/fortnightly visits to clinic to check on progress?
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I agree with Shona (?), I feed Harlan on demand. In my opinion, a baby knows when it is hungry/thirsty. It can't tell you the difference so you do have to ensure that you are giving enough fluids so your baby doesn't think it's hungry when in fact it's thirsty.
Harlan is big, and my health visitor sees us regularly. She has no concerns, and believes he is just built like his dad! As he continues the weaning process I will make sure that he eats healthy foods rather than junk food. But while he still has milk, he can have it whenever he wants
but i think you will find prices like that with a lot of castles im afraid. 
