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Old 18-02-2009, 01:59 PM   #1
Sharloid.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Lancashire, England.
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Friendless At University? :(

I haven't asked for help for a long time... but I don't want to go backwards and end up selfharming again. Although... I don't think there's anything I can do.
I don't know. I feel so lost. Sorry.

Basically, i've got no friends on my course at university. There are only 9 or so of us, and all the rest are pretty close. I thought I got on with them until they decided they didn't want to be in a group with me (to do work).
I feel really hurt and alone. I haven't been to uni this week because i'm embarrased to be by myself. I don't want to be a tag-along either.

It doesn't sound like much... but it's really getting to me. I can't stop crying and I feel so weak.
I've just emailed one of my tutors telling them I feel depressed again.

What can I do?

:(

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Old 18-02-2009, 02:46 PM   #2
DevilzKisses
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I'm sorry, I don't have much suggestions, just to let you know I know how you feel. Although my course at uni is much larger, I have no friends either at uni (thank goodness tutors just allocate us groups).

Well done for emailing your tutor and letting them know, at least that way if you're missing classes and stuff they can help you with it.
All I'd say really is try to persevere if you can. Go along to your classes, talk to them.

Good luck x



Gemma

:: People who say sunshine is happiness ::
:: have never danced in the rain::
I got Lei'd in Vets


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Old 18-02-2009, 02:50 PM   #3
fuzzy_sweets
 
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Sharloid: It's important that you keep going to your classes sweetie. Can i ask,...how long have you been doing the course? As sometimes it takes a little while to start making friends.

Also has something happened to make your classmates dislike you...do you think? Or is it that you dont feel like you fit in??

x x x





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Old 18-02-2009, 03:15 PM   #4
Sharloid.
 
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I just don't fit in. They all like r n b and designer labels and what not.
I've been doing the course since September.
:/

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Old 18-02-2009, 03:37 PM   #5
Katiee
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Heyya,
I'm sorry you're feeling like this right now. *HUGS*
I'm not sure what you could. You've emailed your tutor which is a good step. Talk to them about it. I'm sure they could think of something so you won't feel so alone? We're always here for you hun. Take care xx



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Old 18-02-2009, 04:09 PM   #6
one_step_closer
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Is there anything that you can get involved with in uni, like being a mentor or joining a group? I didn't make friends at uni for years but when I volunteered to take new students on tours it helped me to become more confident and I made a few friends that way, even some new friends who weren't involved in the tours.

I hope that things get easier for you soon. Take care.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 18-02-2009, 05:02 PM   #7
Bleeding Angel
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Im kinda the same with the people in my course, The problem is there are about 15 guys and me, one girl.

But ive stuck through it (and i should add 4 years of it) and im about to graduate in summer. Really you have to learn you where never there to make friends but to learn, you can get through having no friends in your class, as long as you really want to do the course you are in. Im so happy i got through everything to do what i wanted and never gave up because some stupid guys never liked me.

But there are ways to make new friends, like joining diffent groups at university (there should be a number of different groups you could join). See if you uni does a mentoring scheme, something you could do to make others.

I went through 2 years of having hardly any friends/no friends and i know how depressing and low it can get when people dont like you for who you are, but i promise it does get better, you have to find people who appreciate you for you.





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 18-02-2009, 11:10 PM   #8
sobriquet
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I'm in my final year at uni and have only just started talking to people on my course. I'm ridiculously shy so I tend to wait for people to start talking to me which doesn't happen often.

Is there anything at all you have in common with the people on your course? Maybe you could suggest a couple of you go for a drink sometime, or a coffee, or go to the library or something?




7th July 2007

Hope is the feeling you have, that the feeling you have isn't permanent. (Jean Kerr)


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Old 19-02-2009, 12:27 AM   #9
Detour. Derail
~* Formerly Voice Of Reason*~
 
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perhaps talk to them? ask them why they didnt want to work with you?
Maybe if you talk to them abit more you will find some similar ground and likes etc :]

alternatively...try making friends outside of your course :]
go out and meet people etc.

Just because one small group of people are being silly...doesnt mean your alone hunni...
you'll always fit in somewhere :]
like here for example.
Please dont slip into old habits...I know its hard...but you're better than that :]

Take care,
Alexx
xoxo



...&& the cracks begin to show...
**Lex**


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Old 19-02-2009, 02:22 AM   #10
Spoons
 
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do you live in halls? all my uni friends i made by living with.
i dont really know anyone on my course but i dont really have much contact time with my course.
hmmm this isnt helpful

have you made friends in other areas of uni life?

this is going to sound patronisng but you dont need to all like the same things to be friends or to get on. in seminars etc it doesnt matter likes and dislikes.
(its not meant to be patronising apologies)
i thought to begin with that people wouldnt like me i stuggled with who i lived because they were all 'the cool kids at school' sort of people, loved shitty pop music and we just had nothing in common, but they still ended up my friends. you will always find something that you have in common.



We are not our failures...


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