Triggering (SI/Suicide) - sorry me again

[Cacoethes]

im so sorry for posting again.

im just feeling so desperate.
i have a packet of pills here.
enough to do the job.
just bandaged up my arm again,
i told my family i fell
they believed me, idiots.
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die

[chkymnky]

hey hun dont ever say sorry for posting thats wat this is for thats y we all here.
can u get rid of the pills? down the toilet?

wats happened?

*hugs*

[Cacoethes]

i could, but i think i need them here
just incase i finally get up the courage to do it
im sick of everything
my mood swings, literally one minute im crying and desperatley looking for an instrument to hurt or kill myself, the next im almost manically happy,
laughing at absolutley everything.
im crying now, i just want it all to end.

[Lucius.]

Sweetheart, mood swings really are horrible, but they don't last forever. We can get through this together, but I need you to get rid of the pills. All they'll do is tempt you, and I really don't want anything to happen to you.

If I could be at your side now, you know I would be *cuddles*

[Lucius.]

Why is that, sweetie?

[Cacoethes]

i deserve to die
i want to die
the devil wants me to do it
if i dont he will hurt the people closest to me
i cant be responsible for that

[sherlock holmes]

You dont deserve to die. Please dont listen to what the devil is saying, it's all lies.

Please ring your crisis team or someone who can help you.

[Cacoethes]

ill try and talk to someone on monday
i cant use the phone.

at the moment im getting by
by trying to strangle myself
but dont worry cos apparently you cant strangle yourself to death

the devil is screaming at me
my parents are out
so i cant hurt them
im staying away from my brothers and sister
i dont want to hurt them
sorry for rambling on like this

[x-Silvermist-x]

Can't you call anyone right now?

[Cacoethes]

i know ive already said this in another thread but...
i cant use the phone because the mind control waves go through my ear into my brain

[sherlock holmes]

How about emailing the samaritans?

[Cacoethes]

thats a good idea.
ill give that a go

obviously im still alive atm.
i have school tomorrow, dont know how im going
to get through it.
im sure all my friends hate me.
so i isolate myself and end up bursting into tears and sitting in
a teachers office for a couple of hours.
i might just give up on having a career in psychology and
go and stack shelves for the rest of my life.
which i hope will end very soon

[Cacoethes]

i do nt en car e anyt more. i wnant to die ad i wnt tio die now
im nt going to chanfge y mind.
im so cold sio numb.
cantsto p shakning crying
i dont desrrve to live anynmore

hello hun.. i know u dont know me. but please talk.. i feel exactly the same way. im so close to the edge and wnat to do something 2nite. i dont wna live either. but stay n talk to me please... ? just keep putting it off, even if u only put it off for half an hour or so..xxx

[Lucius.]

I could have sworn I replied to you last night >.<

Your family wouldn't be better off without you, sweetheart. I promise you that. I know things seem horrible now, but you can get through this.

Talk to me, sweetie.

[Lucius.]

I won't forget you, sweetheart.

Please don't let it end like this. Tell someone around you - anyone. Let yourself get the help that you need.

[Cacoethes]

th e only help i neexd is help dying.
cant sotp shakiung anf crying
ijm sick o it

[Painful]

Just don't do it. I've been there, done that, got the emotional scars.
It's really not worth it. You might think it is but listen to what people are saying tell someone. You can get help.

I swear on my life, i promise you, if you don't do this and you get help, things will get better. I can't stress enough that it's not worth it at all.

Honestly, you sound exactly like i did, i know what your going through. Trying to take your own life will make things ALOT worse, and you won't die. You'll live to regret every single thing. Don't do it<3

[Cacoethes]

im sorry for posting threats of suicide
i really didnt realise i was doing it
as you can see by my typing i have stopped shaking and have calmed down a bit.
im going to see a doctor about a physical illness and may tell him about all this shit. as long as he promises absolutley confidentiality
the last thing i want is being admitted to hospital again.
also, i havnt been taking my meds for about 3 weeks and i have my blood test on the 16th, can they tell in the blood test that i havnt taken my meds?
sorry again

[x-Silvermist-x]

Hello, What made you stop taking your medication? What is the blood test for?