Triggering (Abuse) - Sick I am so sick I think

[tursiops_gp]

I think I'm sick honestly, cause for some reason, yes I was a victim of violent bullying when I was younger, but I really want my best friend (a girl,) to hit me sometimes or something or my friends to be rough with me or something I like pain I guess loll...uh is this strange, cause honestly I' have been in abusive sort of relationships but I don't think some violence is bad right? My home life was verbal, and physical abuse especially from my father so I don't know....but I still like rough guys I guess, I attract the jerks like a magnet lol, so my friend says.

[ghosts in the machine]

I find I crave being hit sometimes. Like.. sex&violence having been linked all my life, and knowing now that I don't really want sex, I don't really want to unlink the two. But also when I'm drunk, and/or feeling like **** about myself, I really really want people to hurt me.

You're not alone with this, it doesn't make you sick, but it might be helpful if you were able to talk this over with a counsellor.

[troubleshooter]

Like she said, you aren't sick. You've probably subconsciously associated hitting and violence with love. Even if you know it on the surface level that violence is wrong part if you thinks that it's an expression of love, and you might feel like someone doesn't love you until they hit you. *hugs*

[Spoons]

you are not sick. i've felt that way before, that i want someone to hurt me, to hit me.
it scared and upset me that i felt that way, and i have no advice just want to say that ive felt like that before so your not alone in that respect.

[tursiops_gp]

thanks.all

[tursiops_gp]

yeah I think so that maybe