My flatmates are back.
They came back Friday evening.
They'd been away a month.
I'm avoiding them.
I don't know how to relate to them.
The only one who's really noticing me is their 2 year old son.
I tried to initiate contact in the kitchen last night, but they're just... not really speaking to me.
Partly me. Partly them.
It's hard.
I did all the cleaning on Friday, before they came back. Including hoovering and mopping all the wood and tiled floors.
This morning he hoovered through the whole flat.
It sounds silly. But it made me cry. A lot.
I never get anything right. I can never do anything properly. Just like my father told me.
I can't clean, I can't relate.
I had a hellish week last week, and I'm still struggling, it would seem.
I just don't know what to do, how to connect with my flatmates and how to feel worthwhile.
I'm just waiting for them to list how many things I did wrong while they were away.
And to top it all, I failed at the eZine, too. I didn't work hard enough, and I'm sorry.
I'm sure your hoovering was fine - hoovering is hoovering, it's hard to get wrong. Maybe he was just trying to be helpful and didn't know you'd already done it because he didn't look properly?
It was hard for you while your flatmates were away, with the bathroom etc. If they dare have a go at you, you can bring up their selfishness of going away and leaving you to deal with everything.
Don't worry about the ezine - you did more than everyone else here. So that makes you the best!
Eh...I wish I could offer more support, but I don't really have any words to say, so I apologise for that *massive hugs*. But there are many people here who would disagree with your title. Katie, really, you don't fail at life
I think that when we feel vulnerable we also feel very sensitive.
You're right.
Spot on there.
With all the stress at work, I don't want to be at work.
Now home feeling awkward, I don't want to be at home, either.
I'm getting feelings of wanting to die, to escape it all.
Katie, you aren't failing. You've been dealing with some very difficult feelings of late, you had the tiler in, you have had changes at work. You're getting through all these things, how can that be failing?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13