So, I was trying to help my friend report the abuse she had gone through and she doesn't want an investigation to go on, so she wanted me to ask around and see if she wouldn't have to have an investigation after she reported it. Which isn't going to happen, I guess the whole point of reporting it is for them to investigate it. The only reason she has to go through all this is because we both want to go to this group in our area for sexually abused teens. And to do that we have to have our cases reported. Which seems dumb, but we're under 18, so i guess i understand.
Anyways, we spent like an hour yesterday calling like a bajillion people, and with no luck, we ended up going to one of our teachers. My friend didn't really want to talk to her about her stuff, so she asked me if i'd talk to the teacher about something of mine. And I told her about this time I was at this guy's house and I really didn't want to do waht happened and he did it anyways, and yeah, so I guess it wasn't consensual, and I told her about it and she said she'd have to report it but she didn't know if they'd do an investigation. Well, I didn't want to report the thing in the first place, b/c it scares the crap out of me to talk about it, considering I've tried to convince myself that it was consensual. And now I have to talk to some lady my teacher knows from the county special cases unit or w/e it's called. And I'm scared. I messed up yet again. And yeah.
I'm scared. I'm so freaking scared. And I don't know what to do. I thought I might just lie and be like, well it happened but i guess it was consensual or something like that. i don't know what i'm going to say. I don't want to f**k up yet again. But i'm sure I will. Bleh. You don't have to reply to this, I just wanted to write it all out...
