Suggestions, please

blacksheep · 31-12-2008, 01:50 AM

It is going to be really difficult to hide my recent SI from my boyfriend (he is away till friday). I am wondering what y'all think I could say to him when he asks? I don't want to lie about it either. I just need a way to explain myself.

one lie at a time · 31-12-2008, 07:57 AM

Just be as honest as you can. Maybe write it down and give that to him? Sorry I don't have a lot of advice on this, but good luck. It's good that you want to tell him the truth. Hope it goes well. xxx

BeautifulMess · 31-12-2008, 10:13 AM

Better to tell him how you feel, why you've done it, before he confronts you. I agree, write to him. It's harder to get a coherent answer when you're panicky and nervous.

Good luck
xx

manic_felinemistress · 31-12-2008, 04:41 PM

Have you ever explained to him why you do it? The main reason why I'm trying to stop is because I promised my boyfriend I would. He used to cut so he understands where I'm coming from. He stopped though a few months after we started dating. I took a bit longer... He doesn't have the urge to cut anymore, but it's still strong for me even after several months. Just tell him your feelings straight up. If he really cares about you he'll try to understand and will listen. Just don't lie. If he finds out you lied he'll think you don't trust him.

ash<3mcr · 31-12-2008, 05:36 PM

how much does he already know, it took me a while to tell my boyfriend, but when he asked about some cuts, i didnt want to lie and told him what i did and why, he got upset, he still doesnt like it but he gives me support now, support that can help alot, and i cut less cos i dont want to see his face when he sees it, it does help me to do it less, let him ask and answer honestly, if he does love you then he wont mind and will support you.

the best way of telling people is to write it down, give it to him and sit with him, let him read it, tell him to read it all before he says something, try to stay calm about it if you can

blacksheep · 31-12-2008, 08:07 PM

Do I wait till he asks about the bandages....or come right out and tell him that I had a hard time while he was away and SI'ed? I don't want him to think he is at all responsible for my behavior. Nor do I want to 'scare' him off.

A couple months ago I burned myself and when he asked about it I told him it was an accident. Then he asked a second time and I admitted to him that it was not an accident by any means. He was angry I lied at first and disappointed I had "relapsed". I don't want him to be disappointed in me..... We've never had a conversation about why I do it, heck I can't even explain to my psychiatrist why I do it! In the moment, it seems so logical to SI but then when I try to explain it to my therapist it no longer makes sense.

OhSoAvalanche · 31-12-2008, 08:46 PM

just be honest. tell him what happened and how confused you are. he'll appreciate the honesty and it will make him want to support you.

fuzzy_sweets · 31-12-2008, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabidwingedkat

...Just tell him your feelings straight up. If he really cares about you he'll try to understand and will listen...

I agree with the above, if he cares for you then he will understand. He may be a bit upset at first, (which is understandable as nobody likes to see their loved one hurting)...but after a bit he'll calm down hopefully.

x x

ash<3mcr · 31-12-2008, 09:56 PM

i would tell him, ive tried hiding them, its worse, once i just flinched cos of it and he sighed and looked so disapointed, if you tell him you can at least explain its not cos of him and stuff, if you dont they think their own thing then its hard to change their mind