I want to tell my parents that I've cut. Not necessarily that I still do because I haven't in a week and I don't plan on doing it again. I haven't been a cutter for very long and I know I will probably slip and cut, but that is something to deal with later. I don't know how to being the conversation. I have been trying to figure out their reactions and it isn't at all preparing me for what to do or say. I know they will want to know why I started, and I have an explanation for that but I'm not sure what else they will say/ask. There will be surprise, they will wonder why I didn't tell them sooner, and yeah, I don't know.
I don't know how to start the conversation. I don't really know what to expect from them. I don't know how to make them understand that I'm not suicidal and I'm not depressed. Anxious, yes, and they know this. They know I get overwhelmed easily. I can tell them how I have stopped myself since then and how I plan on continuing to stop, but I'm afraid they won't believe me.
I'm tired of worrying about them seeing my scars and having to explain at some random moment that catches me off guard.
I don't know your parents obviously, but they undoubtedly could be shocked by it and it could end up upsetting them very much. SI is a big deal and isn't something to be taken lightly. So, when you start the conversation you need to tell them you have something very important and personal you'd like to discuss with them and that you'd like them to listen to what you have to say and explain to them why you SI. Tell them what you told us in your post...that you're not depressed and suicidal, that you're just anxious and easily overwhelmed and that possibly drives you to cut and that you need help and their support. Tell them how you've stopped yourself before and how you plan to continue to stop.
Everything will be fine. Just tell them....you'll feel much better. I know I did when I told my family members I was a self harmer. *hugs*
Feel free to PM me and tell me what happen with your parents when and if you tell them. :)
Remember that you don't have to talk to them. If you find that too hard and you're worried about how to say it, you can always write them a letter. That way, you can arrange your thoughts and say everything you need to without anyone interrupting. You can make sure it's just what you want them to know and you can explain how you want things to go from now on without them saying anything insensitive or crossing any boundaries you don't want them to cross.
Good luck xx
hope
is the bravest
most beautiful bird
in the sky
Since my parents found out about my cutting, i've found things much easier at home. Luckily my parents were very very understanding and even though they say they cant understand it, they dont make me feel stupid. They are shocked at finding out but i think they are relieved to know. Telling my parents has worked for me, i suppose it depends on how different parents react to certain things. As Beautifulmess said, you could always write a letter if its easier. Then you can write what you want them to know and leave out anything your not prepared to tell them just yet. At least now, i dont have to worry about covering my arms at home all time thinking i'm gonna be found out at any moment. Takes a little bit of stress away. Anyway, good luck with what you choose to do! Take care!
Last edited by Roses_In_The_Hospital : 27-12-2008 at 04:51 PM.
Reason: spelling error
Thanks everyone for replying. The letter isn't really an option because it just isn't how my family works. If I was away at school I could tell them online, but being home makes it different.
Telling them right away that I'm not depressed or suicidal sounds like a good idea. I think that will make them more anxious, but in the end I think it will help.
What do you think about me having someone with me? I'm not sure I would want to but I might be able to have my sister-in-law there. That might make things too awkward for my parents though, like they will feel they have to be careful of their reactions and what they say because she is there.
I think that you should do what ever makes you feel comfortable. Its a big step for you and i think you should do things in the way that YOU want. I think your parents will appriciate you telling them and will realise how much courage it has taken you tell them. Having someone with you who knows about it already may be a good thing to do, a bit of support etc. Its a big step but i think its a worthy one!
i made a big mistake by letting my parents see it before i told them so dont do it that way... if i could redo it i would try telling them by just saying "mom, dad, i want to explain something to you please let me explain before you go assuming anything... i am not suicidal i am not depressed... im trying to stop, i really dont think i need any counselling (unless you think you do)...." and just go on from that... then after telling them let them say stuff... most likely they WILL understand
HERE I STAND EMPTY HANDS WISHING MY WRISTS WERE BLEEDING
TO STOP THE PAIN FROM THE BEATING
AND THERE YOU STOOD HOLDING ME
WAITING FOR ME TO NOTICE BUT WHO ARE YOU
YOU ARE THE TRUTH OUT SCREAMING THESE LIES
YOU ARE THE TRUTH SAVING MY LIFE
.:SaM:. is my favoritest Flyleaf loving sister ever!
The biggest thing to remember is don't do anything you're not comfortable with. You say that you're not depressed, but are anxious? So maybe a good way to start would be to let them know that you're not depressed or suicidal, but the anxiety that they already know about is to a point that this is the only way you could think to deal with it. I don't know your exact situation, but if it was me, that's what I'd say.
You should be proud of yourself, this is a big step! Depending on how your parents take it, it might even make things a little easier on you at home. For me personally, my mom knows, and there's days that I'm glad she knows and others that I wish I never would have said anything.
Best of luck to you!! =]
All you wanna do is drag me down
All I wanna do is stamp you out
I told my mom last night. It ended up being pretty late but I kept trying for hours and well, that was when I finally got it out. She was really nice about it. She asked a lot of questions and even more this morning but she is understanding. We talked about whether I should tell my dad or whether she should and I decided that I would probably never actually tell my dad, so I asked her to. She is fine with doing this. She said that she is worried about his reaction, and she told me this before she asked if I wanted to tell him which is another reason I don't want to. She doesn't know if he will understand. I'm worried about that but at least my mom will be a bit of a barrier for that.
I'll let you guys know what happens after my dad finds out. I'm sure it will be interesting.
