What is considered rape and what is considered molestation? If there is hand penetration only is that rape or is that molestation? This question is for my own reference, as something happened to me when I was little and I want to know for my own sanity which it is...thanks to anyone who can answer this.
Although the outer scars will fade,
The inner ones need time to heal.
First, I'm so sorry that this horrible, intrusive, traumatic thing happened to you. I also know how difficult it can be to make sense of what happened to you--to define it for yourself.
But second, as to the definition: there's a difference between a legal definition of rape, which can vary in cultures, regions, etc, and rape not-as-defined-by-the-law. There are probably different opinions on this, but many definitions of rape hinge on there being 'sexual penetration.' By that criteria, penetration of the vagina or anus, whether with an object, a finger, or whatever, is rape. Personally, I would consider what you described rape.
But--beyond legal, criminal, official or unofficial definitions, what my therapist says, is that the most important thing is how you define it for yourself. How did you experience it? How do you feel about it? The meaning *you* put on it is ultimately much more important than whatever anybody else says. Because you're the one it happened to, and you're the one who has to make sense of it, and you're the one who was there. You're your own best witness
Good luck, and please take care of yourself as you deal with this stuff. I know it's incredibly difficult.
Thank you to everyone who replied. This man who did this to me was my babysitter..a family friend, who insisted on me calling him "uncle." Teh question arose as my ex boyfriend (who is still one of my best friends and we still talk about alot of things) is one of the few people who knows about it and defined it as rape. I wasn't sure if I considered it rape or molestation..either way it hurt, and somehow calling it rape was a huge blow to me, but it did make sense. I guess for a long time I played the "it wasn't that bad because it wasnt this or that" game with myself. I especially want to thank you all for your support right now...it has really helped to be able to write this out and ask that question. Popcorn, what you said really made sense to me and thanks so much for it.
Although the outer scars will fade,
The inner ones need time to heal.
This one is a bit touchy (excuse the pun) but it's molestation if there is just touching, and rape is when there is any penetration, but I'm not sure if fingers count. I'm sure if you look up logal definitions, it might help you with this. *hugs*
